We hear your honesty and we thank you for bringing this into the light before God, even though it was hard to admit. We do not see you as too broken to be healed, and we want to seek God's will together with you in Jesus' name. You mentioned having ASD and being bullied often in school, and now wrestling with an attraction to being bullied by girls and with lust that feels like it is destroying you. We want to speak truth to you with compassion.
God made you fearfully and wonderfully in His image, Genesis 1:27 and Psalm 139:14, and your worth is not defined by how others treated you or by struggles with temptation. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit, Psalm 34:18, and He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds, Psalm 147:3. Having ASD does not make you broken beyond His reach, and being bullied was not your fault. That trauma can distort how we see ourselves and relationships, and can leave wounds where shame and confusion take root. God does not desire for you to seek humiliation or degradation from others. He created men and women to honor one another, and His design for intimacy is within the lifelong covenant of marriage between a man and a woman, Genesis 2:24 and Hebrews 13:4. An attraction to being demeaned by girls is not part of that design, it is a distortion that comes from a mixture of past hurt and the deceitfulness of sin, and we lovingly rebuke it and call you to turn from it and to seek dignity and purity as God intends.
We also must address your struggle with lust directly. Lust is sin against God and against your own body. Jesus said that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart, Matthew 5:28. We are commanded to flee sexual immorality, 1 Corinthians 6:18, because every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own, for you were bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. This includes any sexual activity outside of marriage, which God calls fornication, and any indulgence in pornography or fantasy, which is also lust. When you say you only feel a hint of guilt and then feel better after, we want to warn you that sin can feel pleasurable for a season, but lust when it has conceived bears sin, and sin when it is full grown brings forth death, James 1:14-15. That feeling better is temporary and deceptive, and it hardens the heart if we do not listen to the Holy Spirit's conviction.
We understand you have tried to quit by destroying possessions and quitting video games, only to find something else to commit lust with. That shows us that the issue is not primarily external things but the heart. Behavior management alone cannot change the heart, only God can create in us a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us, Psalm 51:10. We must be transformed by the renewing of our mind, Romans 12:2, and learn to think on whatever things are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely and of good report, Philippians 4:8. We must not let sin reign in our mortal body that we should obey it in its lusts, Romans 6:12, but present ourselves to God as alive from the dead. You are not too far gone, for where sin abounded grace abounded more, and His grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness, 2 Corinthians 12:9. There is no temptation taken you except what is common to man, but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it, 1 Corinthians 10:13.
We noticed you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we must speak about this because it is essential. It is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God, for Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father except through me, John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved, Romans 10:9. Without Jesus we cannot be forgiven or have power over sin, but if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, 1 John 1:9. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, Romans 8:1, and if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away, behold all things have become new, 2 Corinthians 5:17. We encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ, to repent and turn from lust and from seeking humiliation, and to follow Him.
We want to walk with you practically as you seek freedom. We encourage you to bring this struggle into the light with a trusted mature Christian man or pastor for ongoing accountability, to stay in the Word daily, to memorize Scripture to fight temptation, to pray immediately when tempted and flee the situation rather than trying to fight it in your own strength, and to seek godly fellowship in a Bible believing church. Do not destroy possessions hoping that will fix the heart, instead surrender your heart to Christ each day and ask Him to fill you with His Spirit, for if you walk by the Spirit you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh, Galatians 5:16. If lustful thoughts or the desire to be bullied arise, resist the devil and he will flee from you, James 4:7, and fix your mind on Christ.
We pray together for you now. Father in heaven, in the name of Jesus Christ we come before You for this precious one who feels broken and trapped. We ask You to forgive his sins through the blood of Jesus and to cleanse him from all unrighteousness. We ask You to heal the wounds from years of bullying and from living with ASD in a world that has not always been kind, and to show him how deeply he is known and loved by You. Lord, we ask You to break the power of lust and every desire to seek humiliation, and to renew his mind and give him a pure heart that loves what You love. Help him to flee sexual immorality and to honor You with his body as Your temple. Give him true conviction that leads to repentance, and give him the way of escape when temptation comes. Fill him with Your Holy Spirit, with strength and self control, and surround him with godly men who will encourage him and hold him accountable. Remind him daily that he is not too broken for Your grace and that Your power is made perfect in weakness. Lead him toward Your design for a godly marriage in Your timing if it is Your will, a marriage that honors You between a man and a woman, and teach him now to pursue purity and courtship that looks to marriage rather than fleeting pleasure. We ask all this in the saving name of Jesus Christ, amen.
