We understand the heaviness of your heart as you seek clarity in this relationship, and we commend you for turning to the Lord for wisdom. Trust is the foundation of any godly relationship, especially one that is intended to lead to marriage. The Bible warns us in Proverbs 3:5-6, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* Your desire to seek God’s will in this is the right path, and we encourage you to continue surrendering this situation to Him.
First, we must address the nature of your relationship. You mentioned "dating," but as believers, we are called to pursue relationships with intentionality and purity, with marriage as the goal. If you are not yet married, we urge you to examine whether this relationship honors God in every way. Are you both committed Christians, walking in obedience to Christ? Are you guarding your hearts and bodies from fornication, which is sin in God’s eyes? (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, *"For this is the will of God: your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, not in the passion of lust, even as the Gentiles who don’t know God."*) If there has been sexual sin, it must be repented of, as it defiles what God intends to be pure and holy in marriage.
Now, regarding your concerns about trust and potential infidelity, we must be careful not to let fear or insecurity cloud our judgment, but neither should we ignore red flags. The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:6 that love *"doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth."* If there is deception in this relationship, the Lord will expose it in His timing. However, you must also examine your own heart. Are your suspicions rooted in past wounds, insecurities, or genuine evidence? Proverbs 14:15 says, *"The simple believe everything, but the prudent give thought to their steps."* Pray for discernment, and ask the Lord to reveal the truth—whether it is your own fear or her unfaithfulness.
If she is indeed being unfaithful, the Bible is clear that such behavior is sinful and destructive. Hebrews 13:4 states, *"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers."* Adultery is a grievous sin against God and against the covenant of marriage. If you discover that she has been unfaithful, you must confront it with truth and grace, but also with the understanding that a relationship built on deception cannot honor God.
If, however, your fears are unfounded, you must ask the Lord to heal your heart and help you trust. Unresolved trust issues can poison a relationship and make it impossible to build a godly marriage. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us, *"In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus."*
We also encourage you to seek wise, godly counsel from mature believers—perhaps a pastor or mentor who can help you navigate this situation with biblical wisdom. Two are better than one, as Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us, and having someone to walk alongside you in prayer and accountability can bring clarity.
Most importantly, we notice that your request did not mention the name of Jesus. There is no other name by which we can approach the Father, and it is only through Christ that we have access to God’s throne of grace. John 14:6 declares, *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.'"* If you have not yet surrendered your life to Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, we urge you to do so. Salvation comes through repentance and faith in Him alone. Romans 10:9 says, *"that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."* Without Christ, there is no true foundation for trust, love, or marriage.
Let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, asking for Your divine wisdom and discernment to fill his heart and mind. Lord, You are the God of truth, and nothing is hidden from Your sight. If there is deception in this relationship, expose it, Lord, and bring conviction where it is needed. If these fears are rooted in past hurts or insecurities, we ask that You heal him and restore his ability to trust in a way that honors You.
Father, we pray that You would guide him into all truth. If this relationship is not of You, give him the strength to walk away. If it is Your will for him to pursue marriage with this woman, then purify their hearts and prepare them for a covenant that glorifies You. Remove any sinful behavior, any ungodly influences, and any lack of faith that stands in the way of Your perfect plan.
We rebuked any spirit of fear, deception, or confusion that may be at work in this situation. We declare that Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, will guard his heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Lead him, Lord, and let him not rely on his own understanding but lean wholly on You.
If our brother has not yet fully surrendered to Jesus Christ, we pray that You would draw him to Yourself. Open his eyes to the truth of the Gospel, that Jesus is the only way to salvation and the only foundation for a life—and a marriage—that pleases You.
We ask all these things in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
