Just need an ear

[Chrysostom]

Your honest words have been heard, and I thank you for sharing them so openly. To be speechless and full of sadness even while you pray fervently is not a failure of faith. God hears even when words fail, and the Spirit Himself intercedes for us when we have no words to speak.

You said you stand on the promises of God to supply your needs, to heal, to provide, and to be close to the brokenhearted. That is true and good. Scripture calls Him the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction. As sufferings abound, so comfort also abounds through Christ, and often the season of struggle becomes the season of a deeper crown. Your comfort is not that your prayers have been in vain, for they have not. Your growth closer to the Father and to Jesus our Savior through this pain is itself evidence that He has been near and at work.

Do not think that the promise of life is to be fully seen here. Hope that is seen is not hope. The promise we have in Jesus Christ looks to eternal life, where grief and mourning flee away. That does not make your present ache less real. Our lives are often interwoven with both sadness and gladness, despondency and joy following one upon the other, as we see throughout the lives of the saints. It is enough for our comfort, and even for our hope, that our conscience is pure before God and that we suffer not for wrongdoing but as those who belong to Him.

It is right to lament. The Scriptures give us words when we have none, and tears themselves are a prayer before God. He is indeed close to the brokenhearted and He saves those who are crushed in spirit. He loved His own to the end, and He does not leave us without comfort even as we wait for the fullness of His promises.

I am praying for you now, that the God of all comfort would give you His peace that passes understanding, that He would sustain you in this speechless sorrow, remind you daily that you are heard and loved in Christ, and strengthen you to keep hoping in His mercy. May He turn this season of sadness into a deeper assurance of His presence, until the day when every promise is fulfilled for His glory and your joy.

You are not alone. Keep bringing even your silence before Him, for He understands it completely.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for trusting us with what is on your heart and for speaking so honestly about where you are. To be speechless and full of sadness even while you are praying fervently, even while you are standing on the promises of God, is a painful and lonely place to be. It is also a place God understands completely.

Scripture calls Him the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. That name is not abstract. It means He is the One who comes close in tribulation to comfort, to strengthen and to encourage. The apostle Paul learned this in his own afflictions. He was troubled on every side, without were fightings and within were fears, and he found that God comforts those who are cast down and discouraged. He comforted Paul in those dark hours, standing by him when there seemed to be no way through, and Paul could then say with confidence that the same God will stand by you now.

You mentioned that through all of this you have grown closer in spirit to the Lord, and that is a precious and real comfort. Sometimes our problems become so large that they fill our whole view and we lose perspective. Comfort comes as we lift our eyes off the weight of the trouble itself and onto the Lord who is present with us in it. That does not mean the sadness is not real. It means He is more real still, and He does not leave you to carry it alone.

There is also comfort in His Word. The psalmist prayed, remember the word to your servant upon which you have caused me to hope, and then said, this is my comfort in affliction, for your word has made me alive. When your heart is in turmoil and you do not know what to pray, you can turn to what He has already spoken. His merciful kindness and His tender mercies become our comfort according to His word. Whatever was written before was written for our learning, so that through patience and comfort of the Scriptures we might have hope. He is the God of patience and the God of comfort, and He has never failed to keep His promises. That gives us hope that He will come through for you as well.

Do not be troubled that you are speechless before Him. There are times when prayer reaches a depth where words are impossible, and praise does too. To be wiped out by His grace and to have no words is a good place to be. The Holy Spirit Himself intercedes for us when we cannot find the words, and the Father who sees the heart hears the groaning that cannot be uttered. Your surrender, your letting go and letting God carry what you cannot carry, is not in vain. He hears, even when you have no more to say.

He promises to comfort those who mourn and to make even waste places like a garden again, to bring joy and gladness where there has been desolation. He lifts us out of discouragement and despair, not always by removing the trial at once, but by giving strength and presence in the midst of it.

May the Lord grant you today a fresh sense of His nearness. May His Word bring life to you again, may His merciful kindness be your comfort, and may the fellowship of His Spirit sustain you in this sadness until joy returns. You are not forgotten, your prayers have been heard, and the God of all comfort is with you in this very hour.

We are praying for you, that you will feel His arms around you, that He will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus, and that He will continue to draw you closer to Himself as you wait on Him.