Just A New Blog

There are people in this world that ask me why i believe in god. Well i can't tell you. I just know that i believe. I'm a teenager that got into a lot the past few years. You know every time i look back i have regret about what i have done in the past. There are times in my life where i could just get on my knees for hours and cry. I have seen so much hurt and pain in my life, seen so much suffering and hearts that ache to feel the love of someone else. When i was 16 i got involved with someone who had bad depression, i loved him with all my heart but he took me downhill with him, and i began to wonder why this world is so full of pain. There were times in my life where i would sit in my basement and cry, and ask why. Everyone that knows me sees me as the girl who has the brightest smile, the one who is happy all the time. What they don't know is that my smile is fake i haven't been happy for years. I often ask myself who am i? what do i stand for? how can i be a better person? This last year the devil had a tight grip on me. Tighter then i have ever felt. Tight enough where i was about to go off the deep end. Not a lot of people understand me or take the time to talk to me. People that first meet me think im fake, that i dont take life seriously. Going to church every sunday and wed. kept me safe. There have been times where i cant imagine a life without god. As a child i was left alone for almost 3 years. My parents were no where near being emotionally stable. This led me to who i am. At a young age i grew up faster then anyone else. I met my best friend summer of freshman year and thats where i changed. He would never do anything to hurt me and i have accepted that. He took a turn for the worst. Doing many illegal drugs and losing his grip on life. I pray for him everyday that he sees drugs is not the way of life, there is so much more to love out there. Many people dont understand why i have so many emotions when it comes to others, i cant tell you that either. I don't care if i hurt i care if others hurt. i constantally tell myself that im going to make a difference. Im waiting for that one person to come along where god works through me and changes their life.

 

[hadassah]

Hi Haley,
I wanted to thank you for sharing.

I can tell you why you believe in God. Because His hand is upon your life and He has been calling you, wooing you.
If it wasn't for the love of God that He has for us, we would not take notice of Him. We would have no clue that He even exists because of our fallen nature, sin.
Because His love is so great, He gave His Only Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life so that we can be restored back into fellowship with Him.
His love is so great for you that He knew you before you were even before the foundation of the world and He set you in this family you are in. He sees greatness in you that your parents failed to see. I see greatness in you because I know the value that He has placed on you.

Psa 139:1 God you know everything about me
Psa 139:2 I am an open book to You; even from a distance, You know what I'm thinking
Psa 139:3 You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of Your sight.
Psa 139:4 You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence.
Psa 139:5 If I look behind me, You are there. When I look ahead, You're there, too. Your assuring presence goes where ever I go. Wherever I am, there You are.
Psa 139:7 There isn't anyplace I can go to avoid Your Spirit; to be out of Your sight!
Psa 139:8 If I climb to the sky, You're there! If I go underground, You're there!
Psa 139:9 If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon!
Psa 139:10 You'd find me because You're already there waiting for me.
Psa 139:11 You even see me in the night because Your light shines as the day.
Psa 139:12 It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to You; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to You Psa 139:13 Oh yes, You shaped me first inside, then out; You formed me in my mother's womb, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psa 139:14 In Your sight I am breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
Psa 139:15 God knows me inside and out, He knows every bone in my body; He knows exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Psa 139:16 Like an open book, You watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before You, The days of my life all prepared before I even lived one day.
Psa 139:17 You're thoughts, God, are towards me, they are far from what human understanding can conceive and in my own understanding, there are no words to describe, in my own language, they are rare and beautiful--how rare, how beautiful! I'll never comprehend them! In heavenly language they race across the sky, shouting Hosanna's to the King for the amazing person You created me to be.
Psa 139:18 I couldn't even begin to count them-- any more than I could count the sand of the sea. They will cause me to rise up each morning expectantly running to meet my King in a face to face embrace, this God of Grace, this God of Love

You are indeed going to make a difference, not just in one person's life but in many people's life you will bless, encourage and help them.

Father, thank you for Haley. Thank you for drawing and wooing her in Your love. How amazing she is! What incredible grace she will pour out, what love will flow for those who are hurting. Bring her to a place of surrender to You, so that You can live your life through her to touch lives and speak words of life. Just like Your word spoken in Creation Light Be! her words will be like light beams shooting life into people's hearts and minds.
I bless you Haley for your kindness, gentleness and amazing compassion for others. In Jesus name.