A kind disabled private landlord named ###
had answered a Rental Ad I had placed for someone
to rent to me...a few weeks ago....
I had not heard from him for awhile and I just gave up
only..........
because of past previous very heart-breaking experiences
where I had put so much effort into making a rental happen
and then they all fell apart at the very end...
for one reason or another...
I was so scared...wiped out and devastated...and humiliated too...
and then the Hurricane Sandy Relief Agencies I was in contract with
legally would also threaten me that I better find a new place to live soon...
when all of my offers and options had fallen apart....
So because of all of these horrible experiences
even my Faith was also so badly tested and shaken....
I was a wreck and now I find it so hard to trust anyone's word ever...
be it a landlord / real estate broker / management company / or agency...
Today I spoke to ### and he said he gave me his word
and he intends to keep it...that he will rent to me...
and he told me he feels that we are a good fit too...
BUT YET...One thing still remains though to go through with this rental...
I have to call 3 agencies next week and verify if indeed
his rental complies with all of their rules and regulations
If it does not...I am back to square one yet again...
This will be a final test and confirmation if this is indeed
The Lord's Perfect Will for me or not...and for ###'s too...
{ this is not just about me...I truly desire God's perfect will for him as well }
He has such a kind heart and he always lets me pray for him
when we are on the phone...
I so appreciate that...and he is such fun to talk to as well...
when I am able to get a-hold of him... which is not ever easy these days...
### had a stroke and then a very sad divorce
and sometimes he is in a wheelchair and sometimes
he walks with a cane when he feels stronger...and is able to...
I would like to help and assist him as best that I can
and...not just be a tenant to him...I will also be his friend
and his sister in Christ Jesus...
I ask for prayer and intercession
however you may feel led of the Holy Spirit
and of The Father and of His Son Jesus....
I WISH TO SAY THANK-YOU TO GOD FIRST
AND ALL OF YOU SECOND FOR STANDING WITH ME IN PRAYER...
This is so difficult for me
and I often feel like I am going to fall
over an edge...like a cliff or something...and I have nightmares too
and I walk such a fine line and a tight rope because my current landlord
recently threatened me about how I better be gone by March....
{ my lease is up the end of February }
I was hoping to stay at least until the Spring
instead of moving in the worst
part of the cold winter months...
and in the midst of this corona--virus second wave pandemic
I KNOW GOD HAS A PLAN AND PURPOSE FOR ME AND ###
BUT THIS 10 YEAR TRIAL HAS TAKEN SUCH A HUGE TOLL ON ME...
I look in the mirror
and I don't even know who and what I see anymore...
or what I have become...
Many loved ones and 3 of my pet's died over these past 10 years
because of Hurricane Sandy and the after effects...
and this only added to my isolation, extreme loneliness,
and sorrow and grief....
THE BOTTOM LINE IS THIS
I HONESTLY CAN'T TRUST ANYONE'S WORD RIGHT NOW
ONLY THE WORD OF THE LORD...
THY WORD IS A LAMP UNTO MY FEET
AND A LIGHT UNTO MY PATH....FROM PSALM 119
thank-you for listening, caring and being a spiritual support to me
your friendship, concern and prayers and words of encouragement and kindness
and compassion to and for me...
mean more to me then any of you will ever ever ever know...
I could never thank-you enough or properly either in my humble estimation.
Just Know How Grateful That I Am For All Of You...
in closing
again
if I am supposed to be ###'s New Tenant
then may everything fall into place as it should...
in a Godly order and a Godly Fashion with Zero Confusion
for we know our God is not the author of confusion...ever...
and may everything work out
step by step
line upon line and precept upon precept...
I wish life wasn't so hard.
but I wish even more that my faith had been stronger.
I feel like I failed.
it's not a good feeling.
many people have asked me what happened to me
when they know how strong of a Girl Of God that I am...
my answer to them all is....I am also just a Human Being....
I am not this super--girl...like Super--Man was...
and I am just a girl who stands in a fragile faith these days
and am so all alone in life with zero family and very few true friend's
and I am subject to the frailties of being a sinful human being
Living
In A Very Fallen World.............this is not Heaven........
and I am not in my new body yet like when I get to Heaven.......
How I wish people would cut me some slack
and at least be so proud of me that I have not turned my back on God
nor compromised my Faith and Beliefs to get out of this whole mess...
The worst has been when I have been asked
SO WHERE IS YOUR GOD ### / FEATHERS OF ANGEL'S WINGS
AND WHY HASN'T HE DONE SOMETHING YET ?
AND WHY DO YOU STILL EVEN SERVE HIM
AND CLING TO HIM FOR HOPE...?
Because I made a holy blood covenant to serve Him.
through thick and thin.
no matter what the cost.
most times I never know what else to say
and many times
I hide in a corner all alone and just shake inside.
Life Is Hard
May I Pass This Test......and finally be home and safe at last
{ and remember that ....satan is the accuser of the brethren....... }
look at what he said about JOB and did to JOB
I can so relate.
FATHER -- ABBA -- DADDY-- GOD
P.L.E.A.S.E.
HEAR THE DEEPEST CRY OF MY HEART
IN YOUR SON JESUS'S NAME
AND ANSWER WITH YOUR MIRACLE TO SILENCE MY ACCUSER'S.
AMEN
AND AGAIN I SAY...AMEN...X.O.X...
1st Kings Chapter 19...
Again...
thank-you so very very much
from the bottom of my heart
for praying and interceding for me...!
x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.
had answered a Rental Ad I had placed for someone
to rent to me...a few weeks ago....
I had not heard from him for awhile and I just gave up
only..........
because of past previous very heart-breaking experiences
where I had put so much effort into making a rental happen
and then they all fell apart at the very end...
for one reason or another...
I was so scared...wiped out and devastated...and humiliated too...
and then the Hurricane Sandy Relief Agencies I was in contract with
legally would also threaten me that I better find a new place to live soon...
when all of my offers and options had fallen apart....
So because of all of these horrible experiences
even my Faith was also so badly tested and shaken....
I was a wreck and now I find it so hard to trust anyone's word ever...
be it a landlord / real estate broker / management company / or agency...
Today I spoke to ### and he said he gave me his word
and he intends to keep it...that he will rent to me...
and he told me he feels that we are a good fit too...
BUT YET...One thing still remains though to go through with this rental...
I have to call 3 agencies next week and verify if indeed
his rental complies with all of their rules and regulations
If it does not...I am back to square one yet again...
This will be a final test and confirmation if this is indeed
The Lord's Perfect Will for me or not...and for ###'s too...
{ this is not just about me...I truly desire God's perfect will for him as well }
He has such a kind heart and he always lets me pray for him
when we are on the phone...
I so appreciate that...and he is such fun to talk to as well...
when I am able to get a-hold of him... which is not ever easy these days...
### had a stroke and then a very sad divorce
and sometimes he is in a wheelchair and sometimes
he walks with a cane when he feels stronger...and is able to...
I would like to help and assist him as best that I can
and...not just be a tenant to him...I will also be his friend
and his sister in Christ Jesus...
I ask for prayer and intercession
however you may feel led of the Holy Spirit
and of The Father and of His Son Jesus....
I WISH TO SAY THANK-YOU TO GOD FIRST
AND ALL OF YOU SECOND FOR STANDING WITH ME IN PRAYER...
This is so difficult for me
and I often feel like I am going to fall
over an edge...like a cliff or something...and I have nightmares too
and I walk such a fine line and a tight rope because my current landlord
recently threatened me about how I better be gone by March....
{ my lease is up the end of February }
I was hoping to stay at least until the Spring
instead of moving in the worst
part of the cold winter months...
and in the midst of this corona--virus second wave pandemic
I KNOW GOD HAS A PLAN AND PURPOSE FOR ME AND ###
BUT THIS 10 YEAR TRIAL HAS TAKEN SUCH A HUGE TOLL ON ME...
I look in the mirror
and I don't even know who and what I see anymore...
or what I have become...
Many loved ones and 3 of my pet's died over these past 10 years
because of Hurricane Sandy and the after effects...
and this only added to my isolation, extreme loneliness,
and sorrow and grief....
THE BOTTOM LINE IS THIS
I HONESTLY CAN'T TRUST ANYONE'S WORD RIGHT NOW
ONLY THE WORD OF THE LORD...
THY WORD IS A LAMP UNTO MY FEET
AND A LIGHT UNTO MY PATH....FROM PSALM 119
thank-you for listening, caring and being a spiritual support to me
your friendship, concern and prayers and words of encouragement and kindness
and compassion to and for me...
mean more to me then any of you will ever ever ever know...
I could never thank-you enough or properly either in my humble estimation.
Just Know How Grateful That I Am For All Of You...
in closing
again
if I am supposed to be ###'s New Tenant
then may everything fall into place as it should...
in a Godly order and a Godly Fashion with Zero Confusion
for we know our God is not the author of confusion...ever...
and may everything work out
step by step
line upon line and precept upon precept...
I wish life wasn't so hard.
but I wish even more that my faith had been stronger.
I feel like I failed.
it's not a good feeling.
many people have asked me what happened to me
when they know how strong of a Girl Of God that I am...
my answer to them all is....I am also just a Human Being....
I am not this super--girl...like Super--Man was...
and I am just a girl who stands in a fragile faith these days
and am so all alone in life with zero family and very few true friend's
and I am subject to the frailties of being a sinful human being
Living
In A Very Fallen World.............this is not Heaven........
and I am not in my new body yet like when I get to Heaven.......
How I wish people would cut me some slack
and at least be so proud of me that I have not turned my back on God
nor compromised my Faith and Beliefs to get out of this whole mess...
The worst has been when I have been asked
SO WHERE IS YOUR GOD ### / FEATHERS OF ANGEL'S WINGS
AND WHY HASN'T HE DONE SOMETHING YET ?
AND WHY DO YOU STILL EVEN SERVE HIM
AND CLING TO HIM FOR HOPE...?
Because I made a holy blood covenant to serve Him.
through thick and thin.
no matter what the cost.
most times I never know what else to say
and many times
I hide in a corner all alone and just shake inside.
Life Is Hard
May I Pass This Test......and finally be home and safe at last
{ and remember that ....satan is the accuser of the brethren....... }
look at what he said about JOB and did to JOB
I can so relate.
FATHER -- ABBA -- DADDY-- GOD
P.L.E.A.S.E.
HEAR THE DEEPEST CRY OF MY HEART
IN YOUR SON JESUS'S NAME
AND ANSWER WITH YOUR MIRACLE TO SILENCE MY ACCUSER'S.
AMEN
AND AGAIN I SAY...AMEN...X.O.X...
1st Kings Chapter 19...
Again...
thank-you so very very much
from the bottom of my heart
for praying and interceding for me...!
x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.o.x.
