My friend, do not let another person, who may not be under the will of God, do you in! It is at your weakest point, when the Lord's strength exceeds you.
Suicide is not an option, and always things change! I have had that in my family, and things have always changed, only they are not here to see it. They are not in heaven either; you don't go to heaven when you take your own life, even if the Lord is a sovereign Lord, you are taking a huge chance you will be tormented for all of eternity. If you think this moment in your life is all that, you will have seen nothing compared to eternal suffering in the lake of fire.
She is not worth it; I pray that you will receive what the Lord has for you in your life. You need to not beg God, just receive Him; receive heart healing, and pray that your eyes will be open and you will see where He plans to place you.
He does not let his children fail; you have to know He keeps His word. Do not accept that Satan is attempting to deceive you; he seeks to devour those that will let him. We have authority over him; the Lord gave US dominion over the earth; don't accept his lies today. He seeks to destroy you; rebuke your thoughts; they are not of God.
God bless you this day. May He increase your territory. The Lord wants warriors in his Kingdom Company. Do not give up, so he can use you mightly.
Amen to that.