You are carrying a heavy load, I can hear it in your words, a tangle of cares all crying out at once, each one urgent and none of them light. Pending work, money long delayed, a wife far away, an apartment that seems held in the grip of someone who means you no good, and on top of it all the fear that others may turn against you or hold grudges in their hearts. It is a great deal for one soul to bear, and you have brought it straight to the throne of grace. That is well done. The mercy seat is precisely the place for such a pile of burdens.
But let me take your hand a moment and ask you to breathe. Your Lord is not deaf, nor is His arm grown short. He who hears the young ravens when they cry is not unmindful of your pleading. You have spoken of backstabbers and of an evil person, of grudges and of enmity. Do you know that there never yet was a servant of Christ worth his salt who did not have adversaries? The ship that carries no cargo of value sails unmolested by pirates, but the vessel laden with gold must expect to meet an enemy or two. Your Master was slandered, misunderstood, and hated without cause, and you are a follower of Him. Do not think it strange if some portion of that cup comes to your own lips. Yet here is your comfort: not a single secret arrow can reach you without first passing through the shield of your Father's will.
You fear what others may be plotting or thinking. Let me give you a quieting thought. The Lord's government is so complete that without violating any man's will, without making puppets of His creatures, He can quietly and potently accomplish His own purposes. The ice of a hard heart melts under His hand; the rock of opposition crumbles. The "shall" of grace is mightier than the defiant "I will" of pride. If it pleases Him to turn that evil person aside, or to soften a grudge-bearing heart, He can do it as gently as the morning sun thaws the frost. He does not need your fretting to help Him govern the world. Lay that down.
And as for the memory you long for, the goals that seem to stretch before you, the completion of all those pending tasks, remember that your strength is not in yourself. The bow can be renewed in the hand of the warrior. Fresh oil can be poured upon your head when you think your glory is dried up. There is a promise that runs through all the covenant: "I will strengthen them in the Lord." It is a "shall" spoken by the mouth that cannot lie. Do not measure tomorrow's supply by today's empty cupboard. He who fed you yesterday has bread for the morrow that you have not yet tasted.
You want to be loved, to be trustworthy, to be a man against whom no one speaks. That is a noble desire, but fix your eyes on a surer rock. The esteem of men is more fleeting than vapor. They cried "Hosanna" to your Lord on one day and "Crucify him" within the same week. But to be approved of God, to have His smile in the conscience, that is substance. Seek that, and let the opinions of others fall into their proper place. A man who is a chip in the porridge, flavorless and never offending, is seldom a man who is also a savor of Christ to those around him. Do right, love mercy, walk humbly, and leave your reputation in the same hands you have committed your sins.
Now as to your wife, and your hope of bringing her near and finding a home together, that is a desire after God's own ordinance, and you may boldly spread it before Him. The Lord turned again the captivity of Job when he prayed for his friends. How much more will He regard your prayer for your own household, for the wife of your bosom? I do not know when the answer will come, or by what door it will enter, but intercessory prayer is the bow in the cloud, the dove with the olive branch. Go on praying, not only for your own needs but for those who trouble you, and see if the Lord does not turn your captivity in His own wise time.
And what if He delays? What if the answer tarries? Let me tell you a secret. A child of God, when the worst comes to the worst, does not let go. When others would despair, he trusts. When the stroke falls heavily and even the face of God seems hidden, he says in his heart, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him." That is no small faith, and it is the faith that glorifies God most. You are not called to understand all His dealings, nor to peer into the sealed book of tomorrow. You are called to cling to Him with both hands, in the dark as well as in the light.
So bring all these jumbled cares and spread them out before Him, one by one, and then leave them there. The work that is pending, the money that is withheld, the apartment that seems blocked, the heart that fears enmity, He knows each one. Your Heavenly Father is not confused by the multitude of your requests. The same Shepherd who carries the lamb in His bosom can lead the whole flock at once.
Let me pray with you:
O Lord, You who turn the captivity of Your people and make the vineyard to blossom again, look upon Your child in his hour of need. He has brought a great heap of cares to Your feet, and You are not troubled by any of them. Unravel the knots he cannot untie. Provide the money that is long delayed. Open a door for a home that no evil hand can shut. Bring his wife near in Your good time and grant them a peaceful habitation together. Quiet his mind, O Lord, from the fear of what others may think or plot. Let him abide under the shadow of Your wings, where no backbiter can reach. Strengthen his memory, order his work, and let him taste the faithfulness of a God who cannot forget His promises. And when the answer seems to tarry, grant him the grace to say, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him." We ask all in the name of Jesus Christ, our sure and only hope. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
