Jesus have your way!

Anonymous

Beloved of All
I have had ambitions for this season of my life: to share Jesus with my new friends. But I have experienced a lot of difficulty in my faith, like struggling to get myself to choose to spend time with him, as much as I want to. And I still pray for them and learn scriptures and go to church and everything, but I feel like as the year ends, it isn't turning out the way I hoped or envisioned. Partly my own fault, and also, I should have acknowledged that the Lord's plans are better and higher than my own; that is, also regarding other ambitions I had. I know he is willing for my friends to be saved.

Please pray that Jesus would be known and glorified in my circle and that he would have his way in them. Also, please pray for me to forgive one of my friends who has hurt me, because we aren't talking, and it makes it difficult. I really don't want to get caught up in accidental drama (I avoid gossip and would hate for people to think I am trouble), I am trying to represent Christ better for his sake and all the people around me.
 
We hear the sincerity and humility in your heart and we join with you in surrendering this season to Jesus to have His way. We are encouraged by your desire to share Christ with your new friends and by your honesty about the struggle to remain consistent in your walk even while you continue to pray, learn Scripture and gather with the church. That tension is familiar to many believers and God sees both your longing and your faithfulness.

What you have recognized about the Lord's plans is true and beautiful. Scripture reminds us, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and neither are your ways my ways, says Yahweh. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts Isaiah 55:8-9. When our ambitions, even good and godly ambitions, do not turn out as we envisioned, it is not a sign that God has failed or that you have failed beyond grace. He is still working in ways we cannot yet see, and His purpose for your friends and for you is higher and more loving than anything we could plan.

We also rejoice that you know His heart for the lost. The Lord is not slow concerning his promise, as some count slowness, but is patient with us, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance 2 Peter 3:9. Your prayers for your friends to be saved align perfectly with His will, and we stand with you in that intercession.

Your struggle to choose time with Him does not mean He has moved away. He invites us to keep drawing near even when our feelings are dry. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you James 4:8. Let us not be weary in doing well, for we will reap in due season, if we do not give up Galatians 6:9. Even small, faithful choices to open the Word and pray are seen and honored by Him, and He will strengthen you as you continue.

We also hear your pain regarding the friend who has hurt you and the silence between you. We know you want to forgive and to avoid gossip and drama and to represent Christ well, and that desire itself honors Him. Scripture calls us, And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you Ephesians 4:32. And, If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men Romans 12:18. Forgiveness does not always mean immediate restoration of close fellowship, but it does mean releasing bitterness to the Lord and choosing love and mercy in your heart, trusting Him with the outcome. We also remember, Even so, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven Matthew 5:16. Your quiet commitment to avoid gossip and not be seen as trouble is part of that light.

We pray together for you and your circle.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son, and we thank You for this dear one who loves You and longs for You to be known and glorified. Lord, have Your way in this circle of friends. Open their hearts to hear the gospel, remove blindness, and draw each one to Yourself. Give our dear fellow believer boldness and gentleness to always be ready to give an answer to everyone who asks a reason concerning the hope that is in them with humility and fear 1 Peter 3:15, and let their life speak clearly of Your grace. Father, when words are difficult, let their prayers, their kindness, and their faithful presence plant seeds that You will water in Your perfect timing. For our friend who is weary, renew their strength and joy in Your presence. Create in them a clean heart and renew a right spirit within them Psalm 51:10, and help them to delight again in sitting at Your feet. Teach them to walk by Your Spirit and not by feelings of success or failure. And Lord, for the hurt with this friend, we ask You to pour out grace to forgive fully as You have forgiven us. Heal the wound, guard their lips from gossip, keep them from drama, and if it is Your will, bring reconciliation and peace in Your timing. Let them represent Christ with purity, love, and humility so that others see You and not themselves. We trust Your higher plans and we surrender this year and the year to come to You. In the name of Jesus we pray, amen.

We encourage you to keep abiding faithfully, to keep praying for your friends by name, and to keep entrusting both the fruit and the timing to the Lord. He is faithful, He sees your faithfulness, and He will have His way as you continue to seek Him.
 
Thank you for sharing this so honestly. We hear both your love for your friends and the disappointment you feel as the year closes not looking like you had hoped, plus the extra weight of a friendship that is strained right now.

What you described about wanting to spend time with Jesus but struggling to choose it is so common. One thought that has helped many of us is to think of it less as trying hard in a moment and more as training over time, like preparing for a long race. Small, regular steps matter more than occasional big efforts. It can help to choose one simple, doable rhythm and keep it, even for a few minutes, and to see yourself as a work in progress in His hands rather than measuring the whole year at once. That same steady faithfulness is often how Jesus becomes known in a circle of friends too, not through perfect words but through consistent, quiet introductions to Him in how we live and pray.

For the hurt with your friend, we also hear your desire to forgive and to avoid drama or gossip while representing Christ well. It may ease some pressure to remember that forgiveness has two parts. One is a decision to release the right to get even or to avoid the person, and the other is the slower change in emotions like resentment or hurt. The decision can come first, the feelings often take longer, and forgiving does not automatically mean the relationship goes back to how it was. Giving both parts time can keep you from feeling you have failed if peace does not come all at once.

Father, we lift this friend to You and ask that You would be known and glorified in their whole circle in the way You choose. Draw each friend toward Yourself, and give our friend wisdom and grace in that friendship that is hurting, help to release bitterness and to walk with integrity, and a steady, growing closeness with You in the days ahead. In Jesus' name, amen.
 

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