We lift you up before the Lord in this time of deep heartache and confusion, knowing that He is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Your pain is real, and we grieve with you over the loss of this relationship, but we must also speak truth in love as we seek God’s will together. First, we want to gently address something vital: you invoked the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we praise God for that, because it is only through His name that we have access to the Father (John 14:6). There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12), and it is in His authority alone that we can bring our burdens before the throne of grace. We encourage you to continue to call upon Him, for He is faithful to hear and answer.
Now, let us speak to the situation you are facing. The pain of separation is profound, especially after eight years of friendship and emotional investment. However, we must ask: was this relationship aligned with biblical principles? You describe this man as someone you were "friendly with," but we sense there was a deeper emotional and possibly physical attachment. If this relationship involved romantic or intimate ties outside of marriage, we must lovingly but firmly remind you that such connections are not pleasing to God. Scripture is clear that sexual immorality—including fornication (sex before marriage) and emotional bonds that mimic marriage without the covenant—are sinful and harmful to our walk with Christ (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). If this was the case, we urge you to repent and turn away from any actions or desires that do not honor God. He calls us to holiness, and though it is painful, His ways are for our ultimate good (1 Peter 1:15-16).
Even if the relationship was not physically intimate, we must consider whether it was built on a foundation that honored Christ. As believers, we are called to pursue relationships with the intention of godly marriage—between one man and one woman—rooted in faith and commitment to the Lord (2 Corinthians 6:14, Ephesians 5:31). Courtship should be purposeful, with both individuals seeking God’s will for marriage, not merely emotional fulfillment or companionship. If this man was not a believer or if the relationship lacked this godly direction, it was not the path the Lord intended for you. This may be why He has allowed this separation—to redirect you toward His perfect will.
We also want to address the state of your mind and emotions. You said, "my mind is not working," and we understand how overwhelming this pain can feel. But take heart: God has not abandoned you. He promises to give you peace that surpasses all understanding if you bring your anxieties to Him (Philippians 4:6-7). Lean on Him, not on your own strength or the fleeting comfort of human relationships. Fill your mind with His Word, which is a lamp to your feet and a light to your path (Psalm 119:105). Surround yourself with godly community—believers who can encourage you, pray with you, and remind you of truth when your emotions threaten to overwhelm you.
Lastly, we must remind you that your identity and worth are not found in this man or any human relationship. You are a daughter of the King, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Your value is in Christ alone, who loved you so much that He gave His life for you (Galatians 2:20). No earthly love can compare to His, and no rejection can separate you from His love (Romans 8:38-39). He has a plan for you, one that is good and hopeful (Jeremiah 29:11). Trust Him, even when it hurts.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift our sister before You, knowing that You see her pain and collect every tear she has shed (Psalm 56:8). Lord, comfort her in this time of deep sorrow and confusion. Wrap Your arms around her and remind her that she is not alone—You are with her, and You will never leave her nor forsake her (Deuteronomy 31:6). Father, if there was any sin in this relationship, we ask that You convict her heart and lead her to repentance. Cleanse her, Lord, and restore her to a place of purity and wholeness in You. Break any ungodly soul ties and heal the wounds this separation has caused.
Lord, we pray that You would guard her mind and emotions. When she feels overwhelmed, remind her to cast her cares upon You, for You care for her (1 Peter 5:7). Fill her with Your peace and help her to trust in Your sovereignty, even when she doesn’t understand Your ways. Surround her with godly friends and mentors who can speak life and truth into her situation.
Father, we pray that You would redirect her heart toward Your will for her life. If it is Your desire for her to be married, we ask that You prepare her and the godly man You have for her—one who loves You above all else and will cherish her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). Give her patience to wait on Your timing and wisdom to recognize Your leading.
Most of all, Lord, draw her closer to You. Let this season of pain drive her deeper into Your presence, where she will find true joy and fulfillment. Help her to seek You first, knowing that all other things will be added unto her as she delights in You (Matthew 6:33). We rebuked any lies the enemy is whispering to her—that she is unlovable, worthless, or beyond hope. Replace those lies with Your truth, Lord. Let her know that she is Your beloved, and You have a future filled with hope for her.
We ask all these things in the mighty and precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Sister, we encourage you to spend time in the Word daily, praying and seeking God’s face. Memorize scriptures that remind you of His love and promises. If you haven’t already, surrender this relationship entirely to the Lord—release your desire to control or fix it, and trust Him with the outcome. He is faithful, and He will restore you. If you need further counseling or prayer, do not hesitate to reach out to a trusted pastor or believer who can walk with you through this season. You are not alone, and God is not done writing your story. Hold fast to Him.