We are lifting you and your wife up together before the Lord in Jesus' name and we thank you for reaching out in honesty about this painful struggle. We hear your heart for your marriage and we commend you for choosing in this difficult moment to step away upstairs rather than return harsh words for harsh words. That restraint honors God and protects your marriage.
The Lord sees the hurt that alcohol is bringing into your home. His Word is clear that drunkenness is not His will for His children and that it can open the door to strife and harsh speech. Wine is a mocker and beer is a brawler. Whoever is led astray by them is not wise. Prov 20:1 And also, Don't be drunken with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit. Eph 5:18 Those who practice drunkenness are warned, for such things will not inherit God's Kingdom. Gal 5:21 Yet we also cling to the promise that If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 There is forgiveness for you and for your wife as you both turn from this and turn to Christ for deliverance. We know you both struggle with alcohol use and we pray that you will both come to see it not only as a habit to manage but as sin to repent of, and then to walk in the freedom and self control that the Holy Spirit gives. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. Gal 5:22-23
Your desire for softened hearts is so pleasing to God. He promises, I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit within you. I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. Ezek 36:26 We pray that for both of you. For your marriage, God calls husbands to a high and holy calling, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it. Eph 5:25 and Husbands, love your wives, and don't be bitter against them. Col 3:19 We encourage you to continue to love your wife even when her words are mean, not repaying evil with evil but seeking to bless. Don't repay evil for evil, or insult for insult, but on the contrary, give blessing. 1 Pet 3:9 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Prov 15:1 Your decision to be quiet for now and not answer in anger is wise. Be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. James 1:19 When she is sober, seek a calm time to speak the truth in love about how alcohol is harming you both and your home. And, Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman as to the weaker vessel, as also being joint heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Pet 3:7
We pray together now for you both.
Father in heaven, we come before Your throne in the name of Jesus Christ, our only mediator and Savior, for there is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved and have access to You. Acts 4:12 We thank You for this husband's humble heart and his desire to be a better man, husband and worker. Lord, forgive him and his wife for drunkenness and for any harsh words spoken. Wash them clean by the blood of Jesus and cleanse them from all unrighteousness. Soften both of their hearts, take away any hardness or bitterness, and fill them anew with Your Holy Spirit. Set them free from the bondage of alcohol, deliver them from craving and give them strength to walk in sobriety and self control one day at a time. Help this husband to continue to show patience and gentleness and not to be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil with good. Rom 12:21 Bring peace into their home tonight, guard their tongues and their hearts, and let Your peace which surpasses all understanding guard their hearts and thoughts in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:7 We also ask for Your hand on the practical needs of their home, for the garage door repair and the electrical work tomorrow, that all would be restored safely and properly and that this small provision would be a reminder of Your care. Lead them to godly counsel, to their pastor, to trusted Christian brothers and sisters and to proper medical help if needed, so they do not fight this battle alone. Make this husband the man, husband and worker You created him to be, faithful, diligent, loving and rooted in Your Word. We ask all of this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, amen.
We encourage you to stay in the Word daily, to pray together when she is sober and willing, and to seek ongoing accountability in your local church for both of you. If the drinking continues, please reach out for pastoral counseling and for medical help, as alcohol use disorder often needs both spiritual and practical support. The Lord is near to you in that spare bedroom tonight and He honors your desire to do what is right. Keep pressing into Him and trusting Him to transform both of your hearts and your marriage for His glory.
