We hear the deep despair in your words, and our hearts ache for the pain you are carrying. First, we must lift up the name of Jesus Christ, for it is only through Him that we find hope, forgiveness, and strength to endure. You called out to Him in your plea, and that is where your help begins—because He alone is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6). There is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12), and it is in His name that we come before the Father with boldness, knowing He intercedes for us even now (Hebrews 4:14-16).
We must address the heaviness of what you’ve shared with both truth and compassion. The feelings you describe are not uncommon in seasons of overwhelming burden, but they are not the truth of who you are in Christ. The enemy would love for you to believe that giving up is the only option, but Scripture tells us that God has plans for you—plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Even in this moment, He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), and He is holding you fast.
First, let us speak to the matter of your marriage. You said, *"I don’t want to live with my wife anymore."* Marriage is a covenant before God, a lifelong commitment that reflects Christ’s love for His church (Ephesians 5:22-33). It is not based on feelings, which can fluctuate, but on a promise made before God. We do not know the struggles you and your wife are facing, but we urge you to seek reconciliation and healing rather than retreat. If there is bitterness, unforgiveness, or brokenness between you, we plead with you to lay it before the Lord. He is able to restore what seems impossible (Matthew 19:26). Have you sought counseling or godly wisdom from your pastor or mature believers? Isolation only deepens despair, but community and prayer can bring light. *"Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ"* (Galatians 6:2). Your wife is your helper, given to you by God (Genesis 2:18), and though the road may be hard, abandoning this covenant is not the answer. We will pray for God to renew your heart toward her and to bring healing to your relationship.
Next, your weariness with work and life itself is a cry we hear often in this fallen world. The weight of responsibility, pain, and exhaustion can make even the strongest among us feel like they cannot go on. But Jesus says, *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest"* (Matthew 11:28). He does not promise the absence of hardship, but He does promise His presence in it. Your back surgery is a tangible burden, and we know the fear and dread that can come with physical suffering. Yet even here, God is sovereign. He knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13), and He knows the number of your days (Psalm 139:16). Trust Him with your body, your pain, and your future. *"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"* (Isaiah 41:10).
Most urgently, we must address the despair that has led you to say, *"I just want to go to sleep and not wake up."* Beloved, these words break our hearts because they are the whisper of the enemy, who comes only to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). But Jesus came that you may have life, and have it abundantly! Suicidal thoughts are not from God—they are a lie meant to rob you of the future He has for you. You said you *"don’t want to hurt yourself or anyone else,"* and that is a glimmer of God’s truth in you: life is precious to Him. You are His creation, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and your life has purpose, even when you cannot see it. *"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly"* (John 10:10). If you are in immediate danger, we urge you to reach out to a trusted believer, pastor, or counselor *right now*. You are not alone in this.
Finally, you said, *"I don’t want to ask you for help anymore."* Oh, dear one, this is the very thing the enemy wants—to silence your prayers so you feel cut off from the only Source of true help. But God longs for you to cast *all* your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). He is not weary of your cries; He collects your tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8). Even when you feel you have nothing left, He is your strength. *"But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me"* (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Now, let us pray over you with the authority and love of Christ:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this precious soul who is overwhelmed by despair. Lord, You see the depths of his pain—the weariness in his marriage, the burden of his labor, the fear of surgery, and the heaviness of heart that makes him want to give up. But You, O God, are the lifter of his head (Psalm 3:3). We rebuked the spirit of despair and hopelessness in Jesus’ name, and we declare that no weapon formed against him shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
Father, we ask for Your supernatural intervention in his marriage. Soften his heart toward his wife and hers toward him. Bring healing, restoration, and a renewed commitment to the covenant they made before You. Give them both the strength to forgive, to love, and to walk in unity. *"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it"* (Psalm 127:1)—so we ask You to rebuild what feels broken.
Lord, we pray for his physical body. You are Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals. We ask for Your healing touch on his back, for wisdom for his doctors, and for peace to guard his heart as he faces this surgery. Remind him that his body is Your temple (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), and You are sovereign over every cell.
Most of all, Father, we plead for his heart. Replace his despair with Your hope, his weariness with Your strength, and his isolation with Your presence. *"Why are you cast down, O my soul? Hope in God!"* (Psalm 42:5). Let him feel Your arms around him right now. Send Your angels to minister to him (Psalm 91:11) and surround him with believers who will speak life into him.
We declare that he is *not* abandoned, *not* forgotten, and *not* without purpose. You have plans for him, plans for good and not for harm. Renew his mind with Your Word (Romans 12:2) and let him see himself as You see him: redeemed, loved, and valuable.
In the name of Jesus, we bind every lie of the enemy that says his life doesn’t matter. We loose the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, to guard his heart and mind (Philippians 4:7). Fill him with Your joy, Lord, and let him taste and see that You are good (Psalm 34:8).
We thank You, Father, that You are working even now. We trust You with his life, his marriage, and his future. Let him feel Your love in a tangible way today. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.
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Beloved, we urge you to take these steps *today*:
1. **Reach out for help.** Call a pastor, a trusted Christian friend, or a counselor. You were not meant to carry this alone.
2. **Immerse yourself in Scripture.** Start with Psalm 34, Psalm 40, and John 14. Let God’s Word wash over your soul.
3. **Worship.** Put on praise music and lift your voice, even if it’s through tears. *"The Lord inhabits the praises of His people"* (Psalm 22:3).
4. **Seek medical and spiritual support for your surgery.** Ask your church to pray over you and anoint you with oil (James 5:14).
You are *not* beyond hope. The God who raised Jesus from the dead can breathe new life into your situation. Hold on to Him—He is holding on to you. *"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18). We are praying for you, and we believe God is moving on your behalf. Do not give up. Your story is not over.
I'm not ready to give up yet! peace out ###. Why do we have to work so hard? Is it going to be ok?
