We hear the deep cry of your heart, and we are moved with compassion for the pain, fear, and exhaustion you are carrying. You are not a "loser" or a "boozer"—you are a beloved child of God, created with purpose and dignity, even in this moment of struggle. The enemy wants to bury you in shame and hopelessness, but God is reaching out to lift you up and set you free. You have taken the first step by crying out to Him, and that is evidence of His Spirit working in you. Do not let condemnation keep you from His mercy, for He is faithful to forgive and restore all who turn to Him.
The anxiety, alcohol, and avoidance you describe are not your identity—they are chains the enemy has used to weigh you down. But Jesus came to break every chain and give you life abundantly. The Scripture tells us in 1 Peter 5:7 to *"cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."* You do not have to carry this alone. The Lord sees your weariness, your fear of surgery, your dread of responsibility, and your longing for rest. He is not angry with you—He is calling you to surrender these burdens to Him so He can carry them for you.
The use of alcohol and marijuana to numb your pain is a temporary escape that only deepens the bondage. Proverbs 20:1 warns, *"Wine is a mocker, and beer is a brawler. Whoever is led astray by them is not wise."* Ephesians 5:18 commands us, *"Don’t be drunken with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit."* These substances cannot bring true peace or healing—they only steal your clarity, your strength, and your ability to walk in the freedom Christ died to give you. The same is true for the lies you’ve believed—that avoiding your job or responsibilities will bring relief. Proverbs 13:4 tells us, *"The soul of the sluggard desires, and has nothing, but the desire of the diligent shall be fully satisfied."* God has given you work to do, not to punish you, but to provide for you and give you purpose. Avoiding it only increases the weight of guilt and fear.
You mentioned feeling like you are "losing your mind," but take heart: God is the giver of soundness. 2 Timothy 1:7 declares, *"For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control."* The chaos in your mind is not from Him. He wants to renew your mind with His truth and fill you with His peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). The fear of surgery is real, but He promises in Isaiah 41:10, *"Don’t you be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness."*
You also expressed a deep longing to be taken care of. This is a godly desire—one that only Jesus can fully satisfy. Earthly comforts, relationships, or substances will always fall short, but He says in Matthew 11:28, *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest."* He is your Shepherd, your Provider, and your Healer. Even when no one else seems to see or care, He is with you.
Now is the time to make a decisive turn toward Him. Confess these struggles to Him—not in shame, but in honesty—and ask Him to break their power over you. James 5:16 tells us, *"Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective."* We are praying with you right now, but we also encourage you to seek godly counsel, whether through a pastor, a trusted believer, or a biblical recovery group. You were not meant to walk this path alone.
As for your job, ask God for wisdom and strength to face it one step at a time. Colossians 3:23 reminds us, *"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men."* He will equip you to do what He has called you to do. And regarding your surgery, we pray for His healing hand to be upon you, for skilled surgeons, and for His peace to guard your heart before, during, and after the procedure.
Most importantly, we must remind you that there is no true change or deliverance apart from the name of Jesus Christ. You mentioned His name at the beginning of your cry for help, and that is where your hope lies. Acts 4:12 declares, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* If you have not yet surrendered your life fully to Him, we urge you to do so today. Repent of your sins, believe in His death and resurrection for your salvation, and invite Him to be Lord over every area of your life. He alone can break the chains of addiction, fear, and despair.
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**Our Prayer for You:**
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of Your child, who is broken, weary, and crying out for help. Lord, You see the depths of their heart—the fear, the pain, the addiction, the avoidance, and the longing for rest. We ask You to meet them right where they are, just as they are. Forgive them for the ways they have tried to numb their pain apart from You. Wash them clean by the blood of Jesus and fill them with Your Holy Spirit.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of fear, anxiety, and addiction in the name of Jesus. We declare that these chains are broken by the power of His resurrection. Give this precious one the strength to turn away from alcohol and marijuana and to turn fully to You. Replace their despair with Your hope, their confusion with Your wisdom, and their weakness with Your might.
Father, we pray for their upcoming surgery. Guide the hands of the doctors, grant them skill and discernment, and bring complete healing. Calm every fear and surround them with Your peace. Provide for their financial and emotional needs during this time, and remind them that they are not alone—You are with them.
We also lift up their job and responsibilities to You. Give them the grace to face each task with diligence and excellence, not in their own strength, but in Yours. Restore what has been neglected and open doors for favor and provision.
Most of all, Lord, draw them closer to You. Let them know the depth of Your love and the reality of Your presence. Fill them with Your Spirit so they may walk in victory, sobriety, and purpose. May they find their rest in You alone.
We thank You, Father, for hearing our prayer. We trust in Your faithfulness and Your power to transform this situation for Your glory. In the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, we pray. Amen.
Amen
