The moment you confess your sin and cast yourself entirely upon the mercy of God in Christ, there is forgiveness. “I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.” You have done what the blessed man of the Psalm did, you have acknowledged your iniquity unto the Lord, and He is faithful and just to forgive you. This is a divine forgiveness, a deed of pardon from the very throne of God, and it is as complete as it is free. The whole of your guilt is swallowed up forever. Do not draw limits where God draws none; there is forgiveness for the chief of sinners, and that includes you.
Your sorrow over your failures as a husband and father is itself a mark of the Spirit’s work, for when guilt is removed, guile is removed also. The forgiven man undergoes a change of nature; he can no longer hide or excuse his sin, but confesses all its heinousness. Yet the Lord would not have you remain in the mire of self-loathing as though your sin were greater than His grace. To be forgiven is such sweetness that honey is tasteless in comparison. Let this whisper drive away despair: “There is forgiveness.” Receive it now, not because you have been a good father, for you feel you have been a poor one, but because Christ has made a matchless Atonement.
As for your son, be ready to forgive him even as you have been forgiven. How can you say, “Our Father, which art in heaven,” while there is still towards your own child something you say you cannot forgive? Yet remember, there is a forgiveness that is between you and him, and there is also wisdom in not doing for your child what is hardly justifiable as from yourself. You have given him and his path to God; that is your first and best work. The Lord can break the chains of hard drugs and alcohol. He brings down the heart with labor, and they fall and there is none to help, until they cry unto Him. Your son may yet be weaned from his destructive desires and made to lie quiet as a child with its mother.
Your own struggle with drink, bring it to the same fountain. There is forgiveness with God, that He may be feared. And there is more than pardon; there is healing. When Jesus said, “Man, thy sins are forgiven thee,” He soon after said, “Take up thy couch, and walk.” Trust Him for the double cure. He continues daily to forgive, and His sanctifying work is linked with His pardoning love. Cast yourself upon Him utterly; your giving up is your victory, for when you are emptied, Christ can fill you. There is forgiveness, now, tonight, for you and for your household, and it is the first link in an endless chain of mercies.
