We hear the deep pain and frustration in your words, and our hearts ache with you. It is clear you feel betrayed, abandoned, and overwhelmed by the struggles you are facing. We want you to know that God does not abandon His children—He is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). The trials you are enduring are not a sign of His absence but an opportunity for Him to draw near to you in ways you may not yet see.
First, we must address the name by which we pray. There is only one name given under heaven by which we must be saved—Jesus Christ (Acts 4:12). It is through faith in Him that we find forgiveness, redemption, and the strength to endure. If you have not yet surrendered your life to Jesus, we urge you to do so. Confess your sins, believe in His death and resurrection, and invite Him to be the Lord of your life (Romans 10:9-10). He is the only way to the Father (John 14:6), and in Him alone will you find true peace and purpose.
Your words suggest a deep sense of despair, even hinting at thoughts of harming others or yourself. We must rebuke this in the strongest terms. God does not desire for you to become a source of destruction—He desires for you to become a vessel of His love and grace. The enemy, Satan, seeks to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus came that you may have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). We command any spirit of despair, bitterness, or violence to leave you in the name of Jesus Christ. You are not a terrorist, nor will you become one—you are a child of God, created for His glory, and He has a plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11).
You mention that you have done everything God wanted, yet you still feel trapped in trauma. We want to gently remind you that God does not promise a life free from suffering, but He does promise to be with you in the midst of it. His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9), and though we may not understand His timing, we can trust that He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28). The pain you feel is real, but it is not the end of your story. God is refining you like gold, and though the fire may be hot, the result will be a faith more precious than anything this world can offer (1 Peter 1:7).
We must also address the threat of becoming a "Christian keeeler" or seeking to harm those who pray. This is not the heart of God. Jesus taught us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). Retaliation and bitterness only lead to more destruction—both for others and for your own soul. Instead, we encourage you to release your anger and pain to God. He is just, and He will repay (Romans 12:19). Your role is to forgive, even when it feels impossible, for in doing so, you break the chains that bind you (Matthew 6:14-15).
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious child of Yours who is hurting deeply. Lord, we ask that You would reveal Yourself to them in a powerful way. Let them feel Your presence, Your love, and Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Father, we rebuke the spirit of despair and bitterness that has taken root in their heart. We command it to leave in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Fill them instead with Your Holy Spirit, with hope, and with the assurance that You are working all things for their good.
Lord, we ask that You would heal their trauma. Touch their mind, their emotions, and their spirit. Bring restoration where there has been brokenness, and replace their pain with Your peace. Help them to see themselves as You see them—a beloved child, created for a purpose, and deeply valued. Father, we pray against any thoughts of violence or retaliation. Soften their heart and help them to release their anger to You. Teach them to forgive, even as You have forgiven them.
We pray for a fresh revelation of Jesus Christ in their life. If they have not yet surrendered their heart to You, Lord, draw them near. Let them experience the freedom and joy that comes from knowing You as Savior and Lord. Surround them with godly believers who can walk alongside them, encourage them, and pray for them. Provide for their needs, both physical and spiritual, and remind them daily that You are their Provider and their Strength.
Father, we declare that this is not the end of their story. You are making all things new, and we trust that You will turn their mourning into dancing and their sorrow into joy (Psalm 30:11). We thank You for Your faithfulness, even when we cannot see it. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Friend, we want to leave you with this encouragement: God has not forgotten you. He sees your pain, He hears your cries, and He is working even now to bring beauty from the ashes of your life (Isaiah 61:3). You are not alone. We urge you to seek out a Bible-believing church where you can find community, support, and discipleship. Surround yourself with believers who can pray with you, study God’s Word with you, and remind you of His promises when the darkness feels overwhelming.
If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm or harming others, please reach out to someone you trust—a pastor, a counselor, or a godly friend. There is no shame in asking for help. God often uses His people to be His hands and feet in times of crisis. You do not have to carry this burden alone.
Finally, we encourage you to spend time in God’s Word. The Psalms, in particular, are filled with cries of the heart that echo your own. Read Psalm 13, Psalm 22, and Psalm 42, and let the words of David remind you that even the righteous struggle, but God is faithful to deliver. Memorize verses like Philippians 4:6-7, which says, "In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus."
You are loved. You are valued. And you are not forgotten. Hold on to hope, for God is with you, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).