We grieve with you over the deep wounds youâve endured, both from this painful encounter and the lifelong mistreatment youâve suffered. Your heart for prayer and your willingness to show Christâs loveâeven to someone who has hurt youâspeaks volumes of your faith. Yet we also recognize the heaviness of this burden, and we want to address it with both truth and compassion, rooted in Scripture.
First, let us affirm what you already know: **you did nothing wrong.** You acted in love, offering prayer, anointing, and practical care for this woman, only to be falsely accused in a way that humiliated you publicly. Proverbs 19:5 reminds us, *"A false witness shall not be unpunished. He who pours out lies shall not go free."* And Proverbs 10:18 declares, *"He who hides hatred has lying lips. He who utters a slander is a fool."* What she did was not only unjust but also a violation of the unity Christ calls His body to walk in. Ephesians 4:29 commands, *"Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear."* Her words were the opposite of thisâthey tore down, accused falsely, and sowed division.
The silence of your pastor in this matter is also deeply troubling. Scripture is clear that leaders in the church are called to **protect the flock**, correct falsehood, and pursue reconciliation. Titus 1:9 says an elder must *"hold to the faithful word which is according to the teaching, that he may be able to exhort in the sound doctrine, and to convict those who contradict it."* When a member publicly slanders anotherâespecially in the house of Godâit is the pastorâs duty to address it, not ignore it. Matthew 18:15-17 outlines the process for resolving conflict in the church, and it begins with private confrontation, not silence. His failure to act has left you wounded and this woman uncorrected, enabling further harm.
As for her upcoming baptism, we must tread carefully. Baptism is a sacred symbol of repentance and new life in Christ (Romans 6:4), but it is not meaningful if the heart remains unrepentant. If she has not sought forgiveness from youâor at least acknowledged her wrongdoingâhow can she truly be walking in the light? 1 John 1:6-7 says, *"If we say that we have fellowship with him and walk in the darkness, we lie, and donât tell the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, his Son, cleanses us from all sin."* True repentance bears fruit (Matthew 3:8), and if she is spreading lies rather than seeking peace, her actions do not align with the spirit of baptism.
Now, regarding your decision to leave this church: **you are not wrong for seeking a place where you are protected, valued, and shepherded biblically.** Hebrews 10:24-25 encourages us to *"consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, not forsaking our own assembling together."* But if a church fails to uphold truth, correct sin, or protect its members from harm, it is not fulfilling its God-given role. Jesus Himself warned about false shepherds in John 10:12: *"He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who doesnât own the sheep, sees the wolf coming, leaves the sheep, and flees."* You deserve a church where leaders act as true shepherds, not passive bystanders.
That said, we also urge you to **examine your heart before the Lord** in this transition. Have you forgiven this woman? Forgiveness does not mean trusting her or excusing her behavior, but it means releasing the offense to God (Colossians 3:13). Unforgiveness can become a root of bitterness (Hebrews 12:15), and we donât want this pain to fester. Pray for herânot because she deserves it, but because Christ commands it (Matthew 5:44). And pray for your pastor, that God would convict him of his neglect and restore him to faithful shepherding.
Lastly, we must address the pattern you mentioned: *"My whole life, people have done this to me and used my walk and the love I have for God against me."* This is a spiritual attack, and it is not coincidental. When you rededicated your life to Christ through rebaptism, you marked yourself as a threat to the enemyâs kingdom. Satan seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), and one of his chief tactics is to use **those closest to us** to wound us deeply. But take heart: *"No weapon that is formed against you will prevail; and you will condemn every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of Yahwehâs servants, and their righteousness is of me,"* says Yahweh (Isaiah 54:17). You are not cursedâyou are **targeted because you are a warrior**. The enemy fears your prayers, which is why he has sent this assault.
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**Let us pray together:**
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister, who is weary, wounded, and heavy-laden. Lord, You see the tears she has cried in secret, the humiliation she has endured, and the betrayal that has left her heart broken. We ask You to **bind up her wounds** (Psalm 147:3) and restore her joy. Father, You are a God of justice, and we plead for Your righteousness to prevail in this situation. Expose every lie, convict every heart that has participated in this harm, and bring truth to light.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of slander, division, and false accusation that has operated through this woman. Break its power in Jesusâ name. If she is truly Your child, soften her heart to repentance. If she is not, remove her influence from this body of believers before she causes further damage. And Father, we lift up this pastorâhold him accountable for his silence. Stir his conscience, remind him of his duty to protect Your sheep, and grant him the courage to act righteously.
For our sister, we ask for **divine discernment** as she seeks a new church home. Lead her to a place where Your Word is preached boldly, where sin is confronted with love, and where she is **cherished as Your daughter**. Surround her with godly women and men who will stand with her in prayer and encourage her in truth.
Most of all, Lord, **guard her heart**. Do not let bitterness take root. Fill her with Your peace, which surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7), and remind her that **her worth is not in the opinions of man but in the blood of Christ**. Strengthen her, Lord, for the battle ahead. Let this trial refine her, not defeat her.
We declare over her the promise of Psalm 34:18: *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* May she feel Your presence tangibly in this season. And Father, we ask that You **turn what the enemy meant for evil into a testimony of Your goodness** (Genesis 50:20). Let her story be one of **victory**, not victimhood.
In the mighty name of **Jesus Christ**, our Advocate and Healer, we pray. **Amen.**
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**Final Encouragement:**
Sister, you are not overreactingâyour pain is valid, and your desire for a safe spiritual home is godly. The fact that you are seeking counsel rather than retaliating shows the maturity of your faith. Keep fighting the good fight (1 Timothy 6:12), but **do not fight alone**. Surround yourself with believers who will **stand in the gap** for you (Ezekiel 22:30). And remember: **God is your Defender** (Psalm 18:2). He sees, He knows, and He will vindicate you in His perfect timing.
If you feel led, consider writing a **gracious but firm** letter to your pastor, outlining what happened and expressing your hurt over his inaction. This is not to demand an apology but to **give him the opportunity to repent and fulfill his pastoral duty**. If he does not respond biblically, you have your answer.
You are **loved**, you are **seen**, and you are **not forgotten**. Keep pressing into Jesus. He is your **strong tower** (Proverbs 18:10), and no weapon formed against you will prosper. Stand firm. **Your breakthrough is coming.**