It's Not Fair

Today I asked some girls if they would go to the county fair with me. All of them turned me down. I left and kept my composure long enough to get into my car and drive home. Then all you know what broke loose. I walked back to the back room to talk to my dad for a bit, I told him what happened. I was angry, and upset because I thought for sure the people I asked would not turn me down. I even offered to pay if they came with me. They still said no. So I went upstairs to my room and started reading some scriptures that I thought would help calm me down, but then I shut the book and I masturbated. I had not done that in two weeks, I was trying to quit, but today, I just could not take it. I cracked. Then I just felt guilty. I immediately prayed to God for forgiveness, but I was still upset. Then I fell asleep for a bit. My dad made me come with him and my sister to go get pumpkins to carve for jackal-lanterns. As we went I saw a guy that humiliated me a few months ago. He has a girlfriend now, but I was jealous because I knew what he was really like. He is a jerk. At first I felt anger, and then jealousy. As we came back home anger slowly built up. When we got home I sat down to go look something up on the computer and then my dad told us to pick up the living room so it was not a mess when my mom walked in. I was angry at his in sensitivity towards how upset I was. IN discussed I slammed the laptop shut, and got up and started picking up papers. My dad asked me what was wrong, and I let it all out. “Oh nothing, it’s just that once again I get to stay home this Friday, While, I’ll Bet JESSIE AND HIS LITTLE GIRL FRIEND THAT HE HAD TO RUB IN MY FACE WHEN HE GOT GET TO GO TO THE FAIR WHILE I STAY HOME AND CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP!†He asked me what I was talking about, and I said, “I wanted a date to the fair this year!†And I beat my head against the wall and started crying. Then I went upstairs and fell on my knees and started sobbing in my bedroom. I went to take a bath to try and cool down and cried the whole time I was in there. Then I got out and lay down in my bed and cried some more. The whole time I kept asking why? “What did I do? Why does that jerk have a girlfriend and I don’t. He listens to offensive music about women and lust after women. What do I have to do, to get your favor God? Why can I not prove to you that I can be a good boyfriend for someone? Why can’t I just have one date, just one?†I was crying, I guess that what the Bible calls weeping bitterly. I was squalling. I laid there till I calmed down some. I’m still depressed, and I feel numb now. My head hurts from the sinus pressure that built up while I was crying. My blood pressure was up for a bit too because I could feel a vain popping up on my forehead while I was crying. I asked God why everything has to be so hard. I told him I hated my life. Everyone else seems to get what I work for without doing anything to earn it. I just want to go crawl in a hole and never come out.

 

[LOVERETURNS]

I've been there, temptation comes when we are most vulnerable, the devil knows where to get you and when. God has a better, more beautiful girlfriend for you, but it's in his timing that u'll meet her. It takes patience and self-control. Otherwise, the enemy will say oh, it's ok entertain yourself, u don't have a girlfriend loading u with self pity. It's not worth the guilt trip and condemnation the enemy brings. I suggest playing worship music, Third Day any christian band that can usher in the presence of the Lord shifting away any negative emotions and lustful cravings. Just know the enemy, wants you to shrink back, give up that's his agenda. But keep seeking after God's promises for comfort, even the Psalms are good as well. God Bless =)

 

[freddymercury]

You know son, Love is not something you have to chase, just live your life in the right way and Love will come, one day, when you are less expecting it, and than, make sure you cherish it, because you never know when life will take it back. Just be a good man and don't wait around for a girl, she will come.

 

[kbehrent]

In the name of Jesus I speak the Holy Spirit into your life for comfort, wisdom, and guidance. I ask the Lord to send the angels to you to help you.



Are you saved? Have you confessed with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe with all your heart that God raised Him from the dead?



If you are saved, have you received the baptism of the Holy Spirit? You receive the Holy Spirit in you when you are saved. The baptism of the Holy Spirit is a separate happening.



Did Jesus have the Holy Spirit within Him while He grew up? He did, but He received the baptism of the Holy Spirit when He started His ministry, baptised at the hands of John the Baptist. The apostles were saved before the day of Pentecost. Jesus had told them to wait/tarry until the Holy Spirit came upon them. After the Holy Spirit came on them as a baptism, they began their ministry, with power.



In the name of Jesus I pray for the baptism of the Holy Spirit upon this man, for power.



I am in agreement for you to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit, now you ask in prayer for Jesus to baptise you in the Holy Spirit.

 

[Hungry4love357]

TO: kbehrent



Yes Have proclimed Jesus as my lord and savior.



Yes I do believe he died on the cross for my sins.



And Yes I have been batised twice acctually. The first time was when I was five. I thought I had excepted christ but I did not understand at the time the choice I made. When I got older I realized my need for him and deicated seriously, but I felt compelled to be baptised again so I got baptised a secound time to make sure I was properly professing my faith.



However things have not been going so smoothly lately. I feel depressed all the time, and no matter how much I try to read my Bible and pray and confess my sins, it's like, I'm not doing something right. Or maybe I am doing it right but I don't see any results so I get discouraged. I find its harder than I thought to keep an up beat mind set when everything around me seems like choas.