We understand the weight of your struggle, and we commend you for seeking godly wisdom in this difficult situation. The conflict you feel is evidence of a heart that desires to honor God, even when wronged. Let us turn to Scripture to guide our thoughts and prayers, for the Word of God is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path (Psalm 119:105).
First, we must acknowledge that injustice is an affront to God, who is perfectly just. The Bible does not forbid seeking justice through lawful means. In Romans 13:1-4, we read that governing authorities are established by God to punish wrongdoers and uphold justice: *"Let every soul be in subjection to the higher authorities, for there is no authority except from God, and those who exist are ordained by God. Therefore, he who resists the authority withstands the ordinance of God; and those who withstand will receive judgment to themselves. For rulers are not a terror to the good work, but to the evil. Do you desire to have no fear of the authority? Do that which is good, and you will have praise from the same, for he is a servant of God to you for good. But if you do that which is evil, be afraid, for he doesn’t bear the sword in vain; for he is a servant of God, an avenger for wrath to him who does evil."* If this person has stolen from you, they have committed a sin not only against you but against God’s commandments (Exodus 20:15). Seeking restitution through lawful channels can be an act of stewardship, as we are called to be wise and responsible with what God has entrusted to us.
Yet, we must also consider the heart behind our actions. Are we seeking justice, or are we motivated by bitterness, anger, or a desire for revenge? The Bible warns us in Hebrews 12:15 to ensure that *"no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and many be defiled by it."* If your heart is consumed by resentment, it may be time to surrender that to God and ask Him to cleanse and renew your spirit. Jesus teaches us in Matthew 5:44 to *"love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you."* This does not mean we ignore injustice, but it does mean we must guard our hearts against hatred and pray for those who have wronged us.
Forgiveness is not optional for the believer—it is a command. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus says, *"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."* Forgiveness does not mean excusing sin or enabling harmful behavior, but it does mean releasing the debt owed to you into God’s hands. You can forgive this person while still pursuing justice. In fact, forgiveness may free you from the emotional burden that could otherwise hinder your ability to make a wise and godly decision.
We also encourage you to consider whether this situation is an opportunity for restoration. In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus outlines the process for addressing sin between believers: *"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly. If he refuses to hear the assembly also, let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector."* If this person is a believer, have you attempted to address the issue biblically before pursuing legal action? If not, this may be a step worth taking, not only for their sake but for the sake of your own conscience before God.
That said, if this person is unrepentant and unwilling to make things right, you are not obligated to suffer loss at their hands. Proverbs 25:26 warns, *"Like a muddied spring and a polluted well, so is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked."* Sometimes, allowing sin to go unchecked can enable further harm—both to yourself and to others. If legal action is the only way to recover what is rightfully yours and to hold this person accountable, then it may be the godly course of action, provided your motives are pure and your heart is surrendered to God.
Let us also address the fact that you mentioned this person is someone you *"once cared about."* If this was a romantic relationship outside of marriage, we must gently but firmly remind you that God’s design for relationships is clear: intimacy and commitment are reserved for the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24, Hebrews 13:4). If this relationship involved emotional or physical intimacy outside of marriage, we urge you to repent and seek God’s forgiveness, for *"the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body"* (1 Corinthians 6:13). God’s grace is sufficient to cover all sin, and He can redeem even our past mistakes for His glory. But we must turn away from sin and align our lives with His Word.
Now, let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, knowing that You are the God of justice, mercy, and wisdom. Lord, we ask that You grant him clarity and discernment as he navigates this difficult situation. Help him to see the path that honors You, whether it involves seeking restitution through lawful means or releasing this burden into Your hands. Father, guard his heart against bitterness, anger, or any desire for revenge. Fill him with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, and remind him that vengeance belongs to You (Romans 12:19).
Lord, if there is any sin in his life—whether unforgiveness, resentment, or past relational sin—we ask that You convict him gently but firmly. Lead him to repentance and restoration, and help him to walk in obedience to Your Word. If this situation can be resolved through reconciliation, we pray that You would soften the heart of the one who has wronged him and bring about repentance. But if she remains unrepentant, give him the strength to do what is right and just, trusting that You will vindicate him in Your perfect timing.
Father, we also pray for this woman. If she has stolen from our brother, convict her of her sin and lead her to repentance. Open her eyes to the gravity of her actions, and if she does not know You, Lord, draw her to Yourself. Soften her heart and bring her to a place of true sorrow for what she has done. May this situation be used for Your glory, whether through restoration or justice.
Finally, Lord, we ask that You provide our brother with godly counsel—whether through pastors, elders, or wise believers who can speak into his life. Surround him with Your people who can support him, pray for him, and help him make decisions that align with Your will. Remind him that You are his Provider (Philippians 4:19) and that no earthly loss can separate him from Your love (Romans 8:38-39).
We pray all these things in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who is the Prince of Peace and the ultimate Judge. May Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.