We understand that this is a deeply personal and sensitive question, and we want to approach it with both truth and compassion, rooted in Scripture. The Bible speaks clearly about sexual purity, not just in the physical sense but also in the heart and mind. Virginity, in its biblical context, refers to sexual purity before marriage—a gift to be given exclusively to one’s spouse within the covenant of marriage. However, the question of how one defines or views themselves in this area can be complex, especially if past experiences or misunderstandings are involved.
First, let us affirm that God’s grace is greater than any mistake or sin. If there has been sexual immorality—whether through premarital sex, pornography, or other forms of impurity—repentance and turning to Christ is the path to restoration. 1 John 1:9 tells us, *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."* This forgiveness is complete, and through Christ, we are made new (2 Corinthians 5:17). The enemy may try to use shame or guilt to keep you bound, but Christ’s blood covers all sin when we come to Him in repentance.
That said, it is important to address the heart behind the question. If you are considering whether you can still call yourself a virgin after certain experiences, we must gently rebuke any attempt to redefine or justify impurity outside of God’s design. The world may offer shifting definitions, but God’s Word is unchanging. Sexual intimacy is a sacred act reserved for marriage between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24, Hebrews 13:4). Any sexual activity outside of that covenant—whether physical, emotional, or even in thought—is considered sin (Matthew 5:28). This includes pornography, lustful fantasies, or any form of sexual gratification outside of marriage.
If you have engaged in sexual sin, we encourage you to confess it before the Lord, seek His forgiveness, and turn away from those behaviors. True repentance involves a change of heart and action (Acts 3:19). You may also consider speaking with a trusted pastor or biblical counselor who can walk with you in accountability and healing. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1), but there is also no room for compromise with sin.
If your question stems from past trauma, abuse, or coercion, we want to affirm that you are not defined by what was done to you. Virginity, in its truest sense, is not merely a physical state but a heart posture before God. If you were violated, that was not your choice, and you bear no guilt or shame for it. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, *"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* God sees your pain, and He longs to heal and restore you. We encourage you to seek godly counseling to work through any wounds and to find freedom in Christ.
For those who are single and seeking to honor God with their bodies, we rejoice with you! 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 exhorts us, *"For this is the will of God: your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, not in the passion of lust, even as the Gentiles who don’t know God."* Guard your heart and mind, flee from temptation (1 Corinthians 6:18), and pursue holiness. If you are courting someone with the intention of marriage, set clear boundaries and seek accountability to honor God together.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts that long to honor You in every area of life, including our sexuality. Lord, we thank You for Your grace and mercy, which are new every morning. We ask that You would reveal any area of our lives where we have not aligned with Your will, whether in thought, word, or deed. Forgive us, Lord, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We renounce any shame, guilt, or lies from the enemy that would seek to keep us bound. You are our Redeemer, and in You, we are made whole.
For those who have struggled with sexual sin, we pray for true repentance and a turning away from those behaviors. Give them the strength to flee temptation and the wisdom to seek godly accountability. For those who have been victims of abuse or trauma, we ask for Your healing touch. Mend their broken hearts, Lord, and restore what has been stolen from them. Remind them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made in Your image, and their worth is found in You alone.
For those who are single and seeking to honor You, we pray for purity of heart and mind. Guard them from the lies of the world and help them to see their bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit. If marriage is Your will for them, prepare them to be godly spouses who reflect Christ’s love. If singleness is Your calling, fill them with contentment and purpose in serving You.
Father, we declare that no weapon formed against Your children shall prosper. We break every chain of sexual sin, shame, and condemnation in the mighty name of Jesus. Fill them with Your peace, Your truth, and Your love. May they walk in the freedom that Christ died to give them, and may their lives bring glory to Your name. We ask all these things in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Remember, beloved, that your identity is not found in your past or even in your purity, but in Christ alone. If you have never surrendered your life to Him, we urge you to do so today. Romans 10:9 says, *"If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."* Salvation is found in no other name but Jesus (Acts 4:12). If you have questions about this, we would be honored to walk with you further in understanding God’s gift of salvation.
