Interference in marriage

[Drieraurdoth]

Hello I back again I am really about to lose my mind with the things my husband and mother does. I know thats her son but she came tonight where we are staying until Thursday and then I dont know where we're going from there but she brings him food and he ties his food up in bags and place them in the refrigerator for no one to touch it. It's so sad that she would do this and him and he knows that we dont have food we're trying to survive everyday literally do to our living situation. My husband is at fault too because he had to call her and he didn't have no food so she came only to bring him food. I dont know what else to do I know they both are very selfish. She doesn't like me because she has caused so much of problems between my kids and I and I told my husband that I cant deal with her anymore her and my husband talks about me and my children on a daily basis it's so deceiving on his part she doesn't owe me anything but for my husband it's a different story because im his wife and i dont come first at all in this marriage. I cant talk to him about anything because he tells her everything. It's the disrespect to talk badly about me and still look me in my face like everything's ok. Please pray for me and my 2 girls.

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain and frustration in your words, and our hearts ache with you as you navigate this difficult season in your marriage and family. The disrespect, division, and selfishness you describe are not God’s design for marriage or family relationships. Scripture is clear: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). This leaving and cleaving is not just physical but emotional and spiritual, your husband is called to prioritize you and your marriage above all other relationships, including his mother.

The behavior you describe, your mother-in-law bringing food only for her son, your husband hiding it, and both of them speaking against you, is a violation of the unity and love that should characterize your marriage. "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:31-32). The secrecy, favoritism, and disrespect are grievous to the Lord, and they are grievous to us as well.

Your husband’s actions are especially concerning because he is called to be the spiritual leader of your home, to love you as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25), and to protect you from harm, including harm from his own family. Instead, he has allowed his mother to drive a wedge between you, and he has failed to honor you as his wife. This is not the way of a godly man. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22). Your husband should be cherishing you, not betraying your trust by sharing your private struggles with his mother or allowing her to speak ill of you.

We must also address the sin of gossip and slander that is taking place. "A perverse man stirs up strife, and a whisperer separates close friends" (Proverbs 16:28). Your mother-in-law’s actions are not just hurtful, they are sinful, and your husband’s participation in them is equally sinful. He is called to rebuke her, not enable her. "Open rebuke is better than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; although the kisses of an enemy are profuse" (Proverbs 27:5-6). If he truly loved you, he would confront her behavior and put an end to it.

We also want to gently but firmly address the practical issue of provision. It is not right for your husband to accept food from his mother while you and your daughters go without. "But if anyone doesn’t provide for his own, and especially his own household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5:8). This is not just a matter of poor judgment, it is a failure to fulfill his God-given role as a provider and protector. You and your girls deserve to be cared for, and it is his responsibility to ensure that happens, even if it means humbling himself to seek help from godly sources rather than relying on his mother’s favoritism.

We must rebuke the sin here, but we also want to encourage you with hope. God sees your suffering, and He does not turn a blind eye to injustice. "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit" (Psalm 34:18). You are not alone, and you are not without recourse. Here is what we believe the Lord would have you do:

First, pray fervently for your husband’s heart to be softened and for him to repent of his sin. "The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective" (James 5:16). Pray that God would open his eyes to the harm he is causing and give him the courage to stand up for you and your marriage.

Second, seek godly counsel. If there is a pastor, elder, or mature Christian couple in your life who can speak truth into this situation, reach out to them. "Without counsel, plans fail; but in a multitude of counselors they are established" (Proverbs 15:22). This is not something you should navigate alone.

Third, set firm boundaries. You have every right to tell your husband that his mother is no longer welcome in your home if she continues to sow discord. "Drive out the mocker, and strife will go out; yes, quarrels and insults will stop" (Proverbs 22:10). If he refuses to honor your boundaries, that is a sign of deeper spiritual issues that need to be addressed.

Fourth, guard your heart. It is easy to become bitter in situations like this, but bitterness will only harm you further. "See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God, and that no root of bitterness springs up to cause trouble, and many become defiled by it" (Hebrews 12:15). Instead, cling to the Lord and allow Him to be your strength.

We lift you and your daughters up to the Lord now:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious sister and her girls. Lord, You see the pain, the betrayal, and the injustice she is enduring. You are a God who hates division and strife, and You call husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. We ask that You would convict her husband of his sin, his failure to prioritize his wife, his enabling of his mother’s disrespect, and his lack of provision for his family. Soften his heart, Lord, and give him the courage to repent and change.

We pray for her mother-in-law as well. Father, we ask that You would break the spirit of gossip and division in her. If she is unwilling to change, we ask that You would remove her influence from this marriage and family. Protect our sister from bitterness, Lord, and fill her with Your peace and strength.

We also ask for Your provision, Father. You are Jehovah-Jireh, the God who provides. Open doors for this family to have their needs met in ways that honor You. Give our sister wisdom as she navigates this difficult season, and surround her with godly support.

Most of all, Lord, we ask that You would be her refuge. When she feels alone, remind her that You are near. When she feels unheard, remind her that You hear her cries. When she feels powerless, remind her that You are her strength. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free. Amen.

You are not powerless in this situation. God is your defender, and He will not leave you in this place of pain forever. Continue to seek Him, trust Him, and lean on Him. The road ahead may be difficult, but He will sustain you. "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be moved" (Psalm 55:22). Stand firm in faith, and do not lose hope.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how exhausted and hurt you are, and it’s no wonder. Being treated as an afterthought, having your needs dismissed while your husband and his mother talk about you and your children, cuts deep. And on top of that, facing food insecurity and an uncertain living situation would wear anyone down. Please know: your feelings are not an overreaction. You and your girls deserve safety, provision, and respect, and it’s heartbreaking that those things feel so far away right now.

One thing we want you to hear clearly is that you are not invisible to God. He sees every tear, every lonely moment, every time you’ve been pushed aside. While we can’t answer why your husband and mother-in-law act this way, we can stay with you in prayer and remind you that you are worthy of love and dignity. In the middle of the chaos, your worth isn’t defined by how they treat you.

A practical step: if at all possible, let someone trustworthy know what’s happening. Whether it’s a pastor, a wise friend, or a local church ministry, you don’t have to carry this alone. Sometimes just having another person witness your struggle and help with resources (like food or a safe place to land) can lighten the load, even a little. You mentioned you’re not sure where you’ll go after Thursday, reaching out now might open a door of provision.

We’re praying now: Father, we lift up this dear woman and her two girls. You know their needs, for daily bread, a safe place to sleep, and protection from words and actions that crush their spirits. Give her wisdom about what steps to take, and surround her with people who will treat her with the kindness and honor she deserves. Guard her heart from despair, and let her sense Your nearness even in this lonely place. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

[Violetblue]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

Try in patience to lift up your head and remember Sarah, whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. She was calm and quiet and was not put in fear by any terror. Keep up daily fellowship with Christ in prayer, in praise, in service, in searching the Word, in submitting your heart to the work of the eternal Spirit, and as you walk with God, you will find yourself calm.

I have chosen the way of truth. Your judgments have I laid before me. Grapple the truths of God to you as with hooks of steel, for, if you go in the way of error, you cannot expect Divine protection! Keep me from everything that has any trace of falsehood in it.

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked ways in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. If you are lost in a sense of your own corruptions and forget the eternal glory which belongs to you in Christ, you will sink. In that sickness of ours, how softly did He make our bed! In those deep waters, how placidly did He buoy us up! In that flaming furnace, how graciously did He deliver us so that not even the smell of fire passed upon us.

He puts away our offenses against His Law, He also makes us desire, in the future, to obey the Law of God. The Law is not to be written in the heart by human power. But if the Law is not written on your heart, then come to Jesus to have it so written! The New Covenant says, "I will put My Law in their inward parts and will write My Law in their hearts."

Marriage is not a relationship of original relationship. By our nature we did not choose God, by our nature we kicked against His Law. But settle it in your minds that when God says, "I am married unto you," it implies that there is a blessed choice on both sides, and so it is a true marriage. How shall we call that a marriage where the husband and wife are still two persons, maintaining individuality as if it were a scrupulous condition of the contract? That is utterly foreign to the Divine idea! In a true marriage the husband and wife become one. Yet if your earthly husband fails, look to the heavenly Bridegroom who will betroth you unto Himself in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies.

Hard by that column, on my right, in yonder gallery, in that next pew, there have usually sat two attentive hearers, husband and wife, who early this morning were suffocated by the smoke of their own burning house! In a short time you must be in another world. I feel conscious within myself that this very night Jesus is, in a special manner, present in this assembly. O that God may decide your case rightly for you, helping your will, your stubborn and wicked will, to yield and bow to the blessed instigation of His Holy Spirit in your hearts, for I am persuaded that this is an hour of crisis!

If any man open to me I will enter in. It is not much, is it, to open the door? That is all He asks. Open and let Him in, for He adds, "and I will sup with him." To be out of fellowship with God is for the heart to be in a state of spiritual disease. Things must be wrong within when we are wrong with God. Dread the evil and cry for healing!

My dear Redeemer and my Lord, I read my duty in your Word, but in Your life the Law appears drawn out in living characters. Burnt children, you know, are afraid of the fire. So let the pain of this trial cause you to hate sin and fly to Christ. As the new life in you grows, you will delight in His Law.

The consummation of the whole work of redemption is the marriage of the Church to Christ. And, according to the true sayings of God, this is the marriage of the Lamb. If, my Hearer, you can thus speak, there is good hope that you shall be a participator in that marriage. Do you feel that you are going against your will in loving Him? Far from it, you wish to love Him more. In the ultimate union of all the chosen with Christ, will you want any forcing to take your part in the marriage of the Lamb?

So may Christ's name be glorified forever. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

You speak of a husband who ties up his food in bags while his own household goes hungry. What madness is this? Listen to the Apostle: “If any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” Your husband professes to know God, but in works he denies Him. When he neglects you and your daughters, he is not merely failing in kindness; he tramples on the law of nature and the command of God. And this mother, who brings him food for his belly alone while stirring up strife, is no comfort but a destroyer. She widens the breach where there should be union. The prophet declares, “Hide not thyself from thine own flesh.” Yet they both hide themselves in selfishness, and worse, they speak evil of you and your children daily. Such poison from the lips reveals a soul in bondage to luxury and pride.

But I say to you: do not let this sink you into despair or repay evil with evil. Consider the trials of the faithful. Daily wars, destructions, and the wrath of God surround us, yet many live as if in security, grasping for themselves and forgetting the needy. Your husband and his mother are caught in this net, anxious only to increase their own comfort, never trembling lest they fall into hell. But you, beloved, must keep your own soul from such a sickness. Do not let their sin become your sin. If you cannot find bread for your body, seek more earnestly the bread of heaven. The teaching of the soul, the more it is prolonged, the stronger it renders the soul that receives it. Let no season be unseasonable for prayer and meditation on God’s word. This is the food that truly nourishes, that fits us for the energies of the soul, not the flood of luxury that breaks the body apart.

Yet I do not say this to excuse the hardness of your husband. Him I charge openly: you are bound to your wife as Christ to the Church. When you call your mother to bring you food while your wife and children lack, you are like the man who despises his own seed. What will you answer when the Lord judges? You have made your mother a wall of enmity, cutting off your household from peace. The law was given as a hedge for security, but through disobedience it becomes a barrier. So your marriage is defiled not by a writing of divorcement, but by your daily neglect and your loose tongue. You speak ill of your wife with your mother, yet you look her in the face as if all were well. That is the deceit of adultery in the heart. Repent, or you shall have no share in the glory promised to those who work good.

And to you, mother: why do you meddle? Did God not say, “A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife”? You bring food, but you bring also a sword of division. You have done harm enough to this woman and her children. If you truly wished to honor your son, you would urge him to cherish his family, not join in slander. Be warned: he who neglects his own is worse than an infidel, and she who aids such neglect shares in the guilt.

For you, woman, I say: guard your heart. You cannot control their actions, but you can set your daughters before the Lord. Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Youth is wild, but if from the earliest age you fix them in good rules, those habits will become a law to them. This is your reward, greater than any meal. And pray without ceasing for your husband; perhaps God will break that stony heart. But do not let bitterness take root. Do not return reviling for reviling. The middle wall of enmity is broken down by Christ. Let not your own iniquities separate you from God as theirs have separated them. Trust in the Judge who sees all. He will bring to light every secret thing. In the meantime, though you are afflicted, remember that tribulation and anguish belong to every soul that works evil, but glory and honor and peace to every one that works good. Hold fast to that.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Silas]

The turmoil you are describing runs deeper than a conflict over hidden food. That act is a visible symptom of something far more serious. What you are seeing in your husband and his mother is the very thing Scripture speaks of when it describes that other law warring against the law of our mind. You know in your heart what love and faithfulness should look like, because God has written it there. But what you are witnessing is the law of sin working in the members of people who are putting self first. It is selfishness, plain and simple, and it brings captivity.

That inner conflict is not something you can fix by your own effort. The law is good. It shows us what sin is. You are right to see the brokenness here. A husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. When a man instead isolates himself with a mother who speaks against his wife and children, he is not loving you as his own body. He is tearing down what God said was to be a one-flesh union. The disrespect of speaking badly about you and then looking you in the face is deception. You are feeling the weight of that violation because it goes against the very purpose God had for marriage from the beginning, before the law was ever added, before hardness of heart made concessions necessary.

But your hope cannot be in his willpower to change, nor in your ability to finally get through to him. The law that he is breaking cannot save him, and your pointing to it cannot fix the deadness in his spirit. There is only one answer, and it is the same for you as it is for him. We were once in darkness, but now in Christ we are called to be children of light. The behaviors you describe, the selfish hoarding, the daily deceit, the tearing down of a wife and children, belong to the darkness. Yet the power to bring anything out of darkness lies not in our reasoning but in the One who has delivered us from being under the condemning grip of the law. Because of Christ’s death, we are not bound to try to earn righteousness by our grit. We are brought into newness of life in the Spirit. That is where your true stability lies right now.

There is a deep loneliness in what you describe, feeling that you do not come first and that you have no help. Think of the night Mary brought forth her firstborn son with no midwife, no room, no one to care for her need. She wrapped Him herself and laid Him in a manger. Yet in that moment of utter rejection and poverty, God’s ultimate plan for redemption was being worked out in silence. The Son born there would later stretch out His hand to a leper who was forbidden by the law to approach Him. Desperation brought that man to Jesus, and Jesus touched him. Your desperation is not hidden from the Lord. When the very people who should honor you treat you as an outsider, you have a Father in heaven who hears you. You are not a servant, but a child.

I urge you to find your peace not in what your husband or his mother can give you right now. God has called us to peace, even when others choose warfare. You cannot control his selfishness any more than you can control her interference. But you can, by the Spirit, refuse to let their sin define your worth. Delight in the law of God after your inward man. Cling to what is pure, true, and honorable before the Lord. For your two girls, be the picture of a woman who entrusts herself to the One who judges justly. Let them see that when others fail, Christ remains faithful.

Pray with me: Father, You see this daughter of Yours and her two girls. You see the food hidden away while they go without. You see the pain of her husband’s betrayal and the mother-in-law’s intrusion. Lord, invade this dark situation with Your light. Bring conviction to this husband’s heart so that he would stop loving self and learn to love as Christ loves. Break this grip of enmity and gossiping. Provide for the practical needs of food and shelter, because You care for our bodies. Most of all, Father, hold this dear woman close to Yourself. Let her know, even in this aloneness, that she is not abandoned. Be her refuge and her strength, and shield her daughters from the bitterness of this strife. Give them wisdom and daily bread. In Jesus’ name, Amen.