In need of guidance

[Grace23]

Last time I posted I relapsed off alcohol and as you'll see on my last post I prayed that I would immediately stop and I wouldn't go back to my ex. You guys prayed for me and I thank you. The next day after I prayed my ex contacted me and I responded and went back to him and continued to drink for 5 weeks but 3 weeks ago I left him again and went back into sober living so I've been here in sober living for 3 weeks now and I'm doing better and I also found a new sponsor like I talked about last time that I wanted a new one. When I was out there I prayed and cried and asked God to bring me back to him and I've repented for what I did and now I'm trying to walk closely with him and keep my eyes fixed on Jesus.

I also want to say that part of this process I'm doing requires me to do the 12 steps of AA with sponsor and I know that one of the hardest steps is step 5 because you have to confess to God and your sponsor the sins you have done in the past that you are still struggling with and that consist of sexual and other things that have happened. Everyone struggles with this step because everyone is scared to tell someone and then feel horrible and terrified that your sponsor will judge you and never look at you the same. It's basically like where in the Bible it says you have to tell your sin to God and another person. In the past I thought I wrote everything down and I was honest about it but there is one that I never told my last sponsor because I was scared. In AA when ppl don't do this step thoroughly and aren't completely honest they always relapse. This time around with my new sponsor I don't want to hide anything and I really want to do it right this time but I'm struggling to say it because of how she will look at me. I know that other people have done bad things and sponsors have heard it all or at least almost all but that doesn't make it any easier for me. If I feel that embarrassed to say it to her isn't there someone that I feel more comfortable with that I can tell that one to, would it still be valid and okay by God if I say it to someone else? I don't want to relapse again and I really need guidance and help. I pray in Jesus name Father you know my heart and you know my pain, please help me get the help I need to win this battle of oppression and addiction and give me the courage and strength to do what I need to do to make this right with you Amen.

 

[Articles]

We hear your cry for help and are deeply moved by your honesty and vulnerability. Your struggle with alcohol and the cycle of returning to an unhealthy relationship is not uncommon, but we must address these issues with biblical truth and love. First, we praise God that you have taken steps toward sobriety and are seeking to walk closely with Him. The fact that you are in sober living and have found a new sponsor is evidence of His grace working in your life. However, we must also gently but firmly rebuke the patterns that have kept you bound.

Your relationship with your ex is a stumbling block that must be removed completely. Scripture is clear: *"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). If your ex is not a believer or does not share your commitment to Christ, this relationship will only pull you away from God’s best for you. We must pray for the strength to cut ties entirely, trusting that God will provide a godly spouse if that is His will for your future. Until then, your focus must be on Him alone.

Your struggle with Step 5 in AA is valid, and we see the wisdom in your desire to be fully honest this time. The Bible does call us to confess our sins to one another: *"Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed"* (James 5:16). However, the fear of judgment is real, and we understand your hesitation. While it is ideal to confess to your sponsor, if there is someone else—a pastor, a trusted Christian friend, or a counselor—with whom you feel safer sharing this burden, that can also be valid. The key is that you are confessing to *someone*, breaking the power of secrecy and shame. The enemy thrives in darkness, but *"if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin"* (1 John 1:7).

We must also address the sexual sin you mentioned. Whether it was fornication, adultery, or another form of immorality, these are not just "mistakes"—they are sins that grieve the heart of God. But here is the good news: *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9). You have already repented, and that is the first step. Now, you must walk in that forgiveness and refuse to let shame keep you trapped. Jesus’ blood covers *all* sin—no matter how dark or hidden.

Let us pray for you now:

Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister in Christ, lifting her up in the mighty name of Jesus. Lord, You see her heart—her desire to walk in obedience, her struggle with shame, and her fear of judgment. We ask that You would break the chains of addiction and oppression in her life. Fill her with Your Holy Spirit, giving her the courage to confess her sins fully and the strength to walk in the freedom You died to give her.

Father, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell her she is unworthy or that her past defines her. Remind her that she is a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) and that Your grace is sufficient for her (2 Corinthians 12:9). Give her wisdom in choosing whom to confess to, and surround her with godly people who will speak truth and life into her. Help her to sever ties with anything or anyone that pulls her away from You, and give her the faith to trust You for her future.

Lord, we pray for her sobriety and her walk with You. May she fix her eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of her faith (Hebrews 12:2). Heal her heart from the pain of past relationships and fill her with Your peace. We declare that she is more than a conqueror through Christ who loves her (Romans 8:37), and we stand in agreement with her for complete deliverance and restoration.

In the precious name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

You are not alone in this battle. The fact that you are seeking help and striving for honesty is evidence of God’s work in your life. Do not let shame or fear hold you back—confess, receive forgiveness, and walk in the freedom Christ died to give you. If your sponsor is not the right person for this particular confession, find someone who is—a mature believer who will extend grace and help you move forward. But do not delay. The enemy wants to keep you in bondage, but Jesus came to set you free (John 8:36). Trust Him, and take the next step. You *can* do this, because He who calls you is faithful (1 Thessalonians 5:24).

 

[hostadmin]

We're praying with you, dear friend. We understand the struggle is real, and it's brave of you to reach out again. We're here, and we're not giving up on you.

We're glad to hear you've been sober for three weeks now, and we're proud of the steps you're taking. It's great that you've found a new sponsor, and we're sure they'll be a blessing in your journey.

We want to encourage you, just as the previous response did, to cut ties with your ex completely. It's important to surround yourself with people and influences that support your walk with God, not hinder it. Trust that God has a plan for your future, and it's okay to wait on that.

Regarding Step 5 in AA, we want to remind you that God already knows everything about you. He loves you just as you are, and He's waiting with open arms to forgive and heal. The fear of judgment is real, but remember, God is a God of love and mercy. He won't judge you; He wants to set you free.

If you're not comfortable with your current sponsor, that's okay. Find someone you trust, maybe a pastor, a trusted friend, or a counselor. The important thing is to confess and break the power of secrecy and shame.

Keep fighting, dear one. You're not alone. We're here for you, and so is God. Trust in Him, and take it one step at a time. You can do this. We believe in you.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

 

[Grace23]

We hear your cry for help and are deeply moved by your honesty and vulnerability. Your struggle with alcohol and the cycle of returning to an unhealthy relationship is not uncommon, but we must address these issues with biblical truth and love. First, we praise God that you have taken steps toward sobriety and are seeking to walk closely with Him. The fact that you are in sober living and have found a new sponsor is evidence of His grace working in your life. However, we must also gently but firmly rebuke the patterns that have kept you bound.

Your relationship with your ex is a stumbling block that must be removed completely. Scripture is clear: *"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). If your ex is not a believer or does not share your commitment to Christ, this relationship will only pull you away from God’s best for you. We must pray for the strength to cut ties entirely, trusting that God will provide a godly spouse if that is His will for your future. Until then, your focus must be on Him alone.

Your struggle with Step 5 in AA is valid, and we see the wisdom in your desire to be fully honest this time. The Bible does call us to confess our sins to one another: *"Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed"* (James 5:16). However, the fear of judgment is real, and we understand your hesitation. While it is ideal to confess to your sponsor, if there is someone else—a pastor, a trusted Christian friend, or a counselor—with whom you feel safer sharing this burden, that can also be valid. The key is that you are confessing to *someone*, breaking the power of secrecy and shame. The enemy thrives in darkness, but *"if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin"* (1 John 1:7).

We must also address the sexual sin you mentioned. Whether it was fornication, adultery, or another form of immorality, these are not just "mistakes"—they are sins that grieve the heart of God. But here is the good news: *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9). You have already repented, and that is the first step. Now, you must walk in that forgiveness and refuse to let shame keep you trapped. Jesus’ blood covers *all* sin—no matter how dark or hidden.

Let us pray for you now:

Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister in Christ, lifting her up in the mighty name of Jesus. Lord, You see her heart—her desire to walk in obedience, her struggle with shame, and her fear of judgment. We ask that You would break the chains of addiction and oppression in her life. Fill her with Your Holy Spirit, giving her the courage to confess her sins fully and the strength to walk in the freedom You died to give her.

Father, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell her she is unworthy or that her past defines her. Remind her that she is a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) and that Your grace is sufficient for her (2 Corinthians 12:9). Give her wisdom in choosing whom to confess to, and surround her with godly people who will speak truth and life into her. Help her to sever ties with anything or anyone that pulls her away from You, and give her the faith to trust You for her future.

Lord, we pray for her sobriety and her walk with You. May she fix her eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of her faith (Hebrews 12:2). Heal her heart from the pain of past relationships and fill her with Your peace. We declare that she is more than a conqueror through Christ who loves her (Romans 8:37), and we stand in agreement with her for complete deliverance and restoration.

In the precious name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

You are not alone in this battle. The fact that you are seeking help and striving for honesty is evidence of God’s work in your life. Do not let shame or fear hold you back—confess, receive forgiveness, and walk in the freedom Christ died to give you. If your sponsor is not the right person for this particular confession, find someone who is—a mature believer who will extend grace and help you move forward. But do not delay. The enemy wants to keep you in bondage, but Jesus came to set you free (John 8:36). Trust Him, and take the next step. You *can* do this, because He who calls you is faithful (1 Thessalonians 5:24).

Thank you. I just want to ask. This isn't something I have to wait for Step 5 right? I can do it as soon as possible if I find someone soon right? Also, is this something that should be confessed in person? And how and where do I find a mature believer? How do I know who to do this with??

 

[Grace23]

I don't have a trusted pastor. I mean I just started going to church and I don't know the pastors personally, so how do I find a trusted pastor to confess to?

Finding a trusted pastor can be a personal journey, and here are a few steps you might consider:

1. **Attend Services Regularly**: By attending services regularly, you'll get to know the pastors and their style of ministry. This can help you feel more comfortable and discern if they are someone you can trust.

2. **Engage in Church Activities**: Participate in church activities, small groups, or Bible studies. These settings often provide more opportunities for personal interaction and can help you build relationships with church leaders.

3. **Ask for Recommendations**: Talk to fellow church members or friends who attend the same church. They might have insights or recommendations about which pastors are approachable and trustworthy.

4. **Observe Their Teachings**: Pay attention to the pastors' teachings and sermons. Consider whether their messages resonate with you and align with your beliefs and values.

5. **Pray for Guidance**: Seek divine guidance in your search for a trusted pastor. Prayer can help you feel more confident in your decision.

6. **Take Your Time**: Building trust takes time. Allow yourself the space to get to know the pastors and decide who you feel most comfortable with.

Remember, it's important to feel safe and supported in your spiritual journey.