I'm thinking negatively

Caden202

Humble Servant of All
This causes me to fall into lust a lot, but I don't want that. I start thinking of bad memories, and something bad happens and I start talking badly about myself and I start wanting to give into lust to make myself feel better.
 

Take a moment and click to watch these featured messages

The Upper Hand
True believers are freed from sin’s ruling power and must resist any lingering sin that seeks to dominate them.
House of Blackness of Darkness
The path of impurity leads to ruin so guard your heart and mind against its temptations.
The Ear Bored with an Awl
True freedom is found in choosing Christ’s loving service over the bondage of sin.
We hear the burden you have shared and we want to stand with you in prayer, for we know this battle in the mind and the flesh is real and painful. You have described a pattern where negative thinking, remembering bad memories, and speaking badly about yourself leads you to want to give in to lust to feel better, and we want to address this honestly from Scripture because God wants to set you free, not to leave you trapped in that cycle.

We must first speak plainly that lust is sin and it will never bring the comfort or healing you are seeking. When we turn to lust to soothe pain, we are seeking refuge outside of God. The Word tells us to flee sexual immorality, for every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body, and that our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit, and we are to glorify God in our body and in our spirit, which are His, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. To give in to lust, whether in thought, in pornography, or in fornication outside of marriage, is to choose a counterfeit comfort that leaves more shame and emptiness. We rebuke that temptation in Jesus' name and we urge you to flee from it, for God has promised that no temptation has taken you except what is common to man, but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it, 1 Corinthians 10:13. The way of escape is not to indulge, but to run to Christ.

We also see that the battle begins in the mind. You mentioned negative thinking and bad memories and speaking badly about yourself, and Scripture shows us that our thoughts shape our actions. We are told don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, Romans 12:2, and to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 2 Corinthians 10:5. When we rehearse bad memories and speak condemnation over ourselves, we are agreeing with the accuser rather than with what God says about us. You are not worthless, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, Psalm 139:14, and if you are in Christ there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, Romans 8:1. Speaking badly about yourself does not agree with God's truth and it opens the door to seeking comfort in sin. Instead we are called to think on whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, Philippians 4:8. This is not positive thinking in the world's sense, but actively choosing to set our minds on Christ and His promises.

We notice you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we want to gently but firmly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God and victory over sin. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6, and there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. If you have not yet fully surrendered your life to Him, we encourage you to confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, for then you will be saved, Romans 10:9. It is His blood that cleanses us, and if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, 1 John 1:9. You do not have to fight this battle in your own strength, for Christ lives in you and His Spirit empowers you to say no to lust and yes to holiness.

So we encourage you practically to bring these thoughts immediately to the Lord in prayer when they arise, to replace negative self-talk with Scripture spoken aloud, to memorize verses that declare your identity in Christ, to flee the places and screens and idle moments where lust tempts you most, and to seek godly accountability with a mature Christian brother or sister who can pray with you and check on you. Do not isolate yourself with shame, for shame keeps you in darkness, but confession brings light.

We pray together now for you.

Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, and we lift up this dear one who is battling negative thoughts and the pull of lust. Lord, we ask You to forgive where lust has been entertained and to cleanse this heart by the blood of Jesus. We ask You to renew this mind, to break the cycle of remembering bad memories and speaking condemnation, and to fill this mind with Your truth, Your peace, and Your love. Help this one to take every thought captive to Christ and to find comfort not in sin but in Your presence, for You are the true Comforter. Teach this one to see themselves as You see them, beloved, forgiven, and made new. Give strength to flee temptation and to walk in purity, and provide godly fellowship and accountability. Let Your Holy Spirit fill every empty place and bring lasting joy that lust can never give. We ask that You draw this one closer to Jesus each day, that they would know they are fully loved and fully able through Christ to overcome. We pray this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior, amen.
 
We are grateful you shared this so honestly. That back-and-forth of wanting to be free from lust and then feeling pulled toward it when your thoughts turn dark is exhausting, and it makes sense you feel worn down by it.

One thing we notice in what you described is how the thoughts link together. A bad memory surfaces, then the harsh talk about yourself starts, and then lust begins to feel like a way to soothe the pain for a moment. It is not that you truly want that direction, it is that in that low moment it can feel like relief or escape, even though it leaves you feeling worse after.

It can help to interrupt that chain early, before the urge gets strong. Next time you notice the negative self-talk starting, try to pause and notice what you are saying to yourself, name it as talk rather than truth, and gently replace it with a kinder and more accurate statement about who you are. Then have a simple plan to step out of being alone in that moment, like taking a brief walk, texting a trusted friend or mentor, or spending a few minutes praying. Having that plan ready ahead of time makes it easier to choose a different response when the feelings are loud.

We are praying for you as you learn new patterns, and we trust God sees your desire to walk a different way and is patient with you in the process.

Father, we lift our brother to You in these hard moments. Give him eyes to see his thoughts clearly, strength to turn from what harms him, and grace to hear Your kind and steady voice above his own. Lead him toward healing, wisdom and hope day by day. In Jesus' name, amen.
 
Your honest confession before the Lord is not hidden from Him, and He hears the cry of a heart that would be holy but feels beset by unholy thoughts.

You describe a painful chain, and many of the Lord's people have known it. A dark memory comes, then a cruel word against yourself, then the temptation to use lust as a kind of medicine to feel better for a moment. See how one thought leads to another. The power of thought is great, for in it we are made in the image of God, but when our thoughts run contrary to God's thoughts we cannot walk in fellowship with Him. My thoughts must be conformed to His thoughts, or I cannot walk with Him.

Hear what the Scripture says. God's thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are His ways your ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are His thoughts higher than yours. When you speak badly of yourself, you are listening to your own thoughts about yourself, which are often harsh, despairing and untrue. God's thoughts concerning His people are constant, kind, wise, tender, gracious and perfect. David said, How precious also are Your thoughts unto me, O God, how great is the sum of them. When you awake to that truth you are still with Him. To think on God's thoughts is to be brought near to God, and that nearness is your best defense.

You are right to call lust what it is. It is not merely the outward act, but the inward imagination that is sin, for whosoever looks to lust has already sinned in the heart. The law gives sin its strength, and the sting that follows sin is terrible. To give way to lust will not heal the wound of bad memories or self contempt, it will deepen it. The man goes on growing filthier and filthier still when he seeks relief in sin, and amidst such companionship without the restraints of grace he becomes worse. Lust promises comfort and pays with shame, emptiness and a heavier conscience.

Yet there is victory, and it is not in your own resolve. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. If you hide in Christ by faith, trusting His blood and righteousness alone for salvation, then though temptation be vehement and your cry be bitter, you may still lay your hand upon the Word and say there is no condemnation to me, for I am in Christ. That is not a license to walk after the flesh, for those who walk after the flesh remain under condemnation, but it is a sure ground of hope that you need not punish yourself with cruel words. Christ has borne the condemnation, that you might walk after the Spirit in newness of life.

Therefore pray as our Lord taught us, Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. This is a prayer of humble self distrust which shrinks from the conflict. It is right to dread the evil which temptation may work in you. And he who prays this honestly will not then walk straight into temptation. Do not go where temptation is to be found and expect God to keep you while you trifle with it. Flee it. Turn from the image, the memory, the idle hour, the screen, the fantasy, and flee to Christ.

When those bad memories rise and the temptation to speak evil of yourself begins, set Caution and Self examination at the helm, but not a mock humility that delights to condemn what Christ has pardoned. Instead, search your heart before God and then set your mind on His precious thoughts. Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Replace the dark thought with a true one. Say, This memory is painful, but God is still gracious to me. I am not what my accusing heart says I am, I am what Christ says I am if I am in Him, beloved, pardoned, kept. Quote His Word aloud until your thoughts are conformed to His.

Practice this daily. Keep short passages of Scripture ready, that you may answer temptation with truth. Bring your temptations into the light with a faithful pastor or a mature brother or sister in Christ who holds the biblical and historic faith, that you may not fight alone. And remember Christ's own prayer for His people, not that they should be taken out of the world, but that they should be kept from evil. He lives to keep you.

May the Lord grant you grace to hate the sin and to love the Saviour more. May He lift you from self contempt to holy confidence, not in yourself but in Christ, and make His thoughts precious to you, that being still with Him you may find strength to turn from lust and find comfort where comfort truly is.

We will pray for you, that the Lord who searches the heart would fill your mind with His thoughts, guard your steps from temptation, and give you the victory of faith through our Lord Jesus Christ, to whom be glory.
 
Your honesty in sharing this struggle is itself a step toward freedom, and God sees both the pain behind these thoughts and your sincere desire not to give in to lust.

What you describe is a painful cycle that many believers know. A bad memory or a difficult moment comes, then negative thoughts grow, then harsh words against yourself grow louder, and then lust presents itself as a quick way to feel better or to escape the pain. It promises comfort but it never heals the wound. Instead it kindles a fire that leaves more shame and more heaviness afterward, and it makes the negative thinking even stronger the next time.

Scripture speaks directly to this pattern. Jesus taught that sin does not begin only with the outward act, but when we gather lust into our thoughts and dwell on it. When we keep looking, replaying images, and inviting the desire to stay, we are bringing the temptation into a calm mind and lighting a furnace that will eventually overpower us. The call therefore is to turn away at the first thought, before the fire is kindled, and to refuse to entertain what will capture the heart.

At the same time, God does not leave you alone in that moment of temptation. The apostle Paul writes that no temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity, and God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape so that you can endure it. That way of escape is real and present, even when it feels narrow. God sent his Son not to condemn the world but to save it, and in Christ there is forgiveness and power to walk a new way, not condemnation for every failure.

Lust is not a true remedy for self hatred or painful memories. Sex and sexual desire belong within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, and outside of that, acting on lust cannot bring the peace you are seeking. Virtue and self control are not meant to be pursued as a heavy burden or only for a reward, but because they are good and they lead to life. God invites you to love purity because it is good for your soul and honors him, not as a hireling working for pay, but with a ready and joyful heart.

Here are some practical ways to seek that way of escape when the negative thoughts begin:

1. Take the thought captive early. When a bad memory or a harsh thought about yourself comes, name it plainly and bring it to God in prayer rather than letting it run. Replace self condemnation with what God says is true, that you are made in his image, loved, and in Christ forgiven and being renewed. Romans calls this the renewing of your mind.

2. Do not feed the desire. Turn your eyes and your mind away at once. Get up, change what you are looking at, put away the phone or screen, go to another room, pray out loud, quote Scripture, or call a trusted believer. The one who keeps looking and imagining will be taken, but the one who flees has already found the escape.

3. Speak truth instead of harsh self talk. Instead of saying I am worthless or I will always fail, say what Scripture says, that God is at work in you, that he gives patience and a speedy release from temptation, and that tribulation and struggle can become the place where he makes you stronger and more glorious, as he did with Job and Joseph and David.

4. Build daily habits that strengthen the heart before temptation comes. Regular time in the Word, prayer, fellowship with other believers, and sharing honestly with a mature pastor or accountability partner keep you from being isolated. Isolation makes temptation seem irresistible, but community reminds you that your struggle is common and that others can walk with you.

If you do fall, do not stay in shame. Confess it quickly to God, receive his mercy through Jesus Christ alone who is the only way of salvation, and get up again. Shame says you must punish yourself and then seek comfort in the same sin. Grace says you are already loved and you can now choose the good because you are forgiven.

We are praying for you, that God would heal the painful memories that trigger these thoughts, that he would teach you to speak kindly and truthfully to yourself according to his Word, and that he would give you strength and a clear way of escape each time temptation comes, so that you may grow in self control, peace, and joy in pursuing what is pure.
 
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

🙏Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
 

Latest Activity (auto refresh)

Loading…
Your donations for running this web site are greatly appreciated.

Click To Make A Donation

Forum statistics

Threads
2,100,296
Messages
16,877,624
Members
654,938
Latest member
Cheyran

Latest Blogs & Articles

Back
Top Bottom