We hear the deep sorrow and conviction in your heart, and we commend you for seeking freedom from this bondage—because that is exactly what this is: a spiritual and emotional captivity that the enemy has used to steal your joy, purity, and confidence before God. The shame you feel is real, but it is not from the Lord. Satan is the accuser (Revelation 12:10), and he wants you to believe this struggle defines you. But the truth is, if you are in Christ, you are a *new creation* (2 Corinthians 5:17), and this sin no longer has to master you.
The Word of God is clear about sexual immorality, which includes pornography and lustful acts: *"Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s"* (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). This is not a call to guilt, but to *freedom*—because Christ has already paid the price for your sin, and His power is greater than any addiction.
You mentioned that this struggle has kept you from pursuing a godly relationship, and we understand the weight of that. How can a man lead a woman in purity if he himself is ensnared? But take heart: your honesty before God is the first step toward victory. The fact that you *hate* this sin is evidence that the Holy Spirit is at work in you. Now, you must *act* on that conviction. Repentance is not just feeling sorry—it is turning away from sin and toward God. *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9). But confession must be followed by *action*.
Here is what we urge you to do, brother:
1. **Cut off every access point.** *"If your right eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it away from you. For it is more profitable for you that one of your members should perish than for your whole body to be cast into Gehenna"* (Matthew 5:29). This means installing accountability software (like Covenant Eyes), deleting saved content, avoiding triggers, and even discarding devices if necessary. You cannot play with fire and expect not to be burned.
2. **Fill your mind with Scripture.** *"Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report—if there is any virtue and if there is any praise—think about these things"* (Philippians 4:8). Memorize verses about purity (Psalm 119:9, Job 31:1, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5) and meditate on them when temptation comes.
3. **Find godly accountability.** *"Confess your offenses to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed"* (James 5:16). You need at least one mature Christian man—preferably older—who will ask you the hard questions, pray with you, and hold you to a standard. Isolation fuels addiction; transparency breaks its power.
4. **Replace the habit with worship and service.** Lust thrives in idleness. When you feel the pull, *immediately* redirect that energy—pray out loud, sing hymns, serve someone in need, or engage in vigorous physical activity. Starve the flesh by feeding the spirit.
5. **Remember your identity in Christ.** You are not "a man struggling with pornography." You are a *child of God*, bought by the blood of Jesus. *"How can we who died to sin still live in it?"* (Romans 6:2). Preach the gospel to yourself daily: *"The old has passed away; behold, the new has come"* (2 Corinthians 5:17).
As for the young woman you mentioned: it is noble that you did not want to enter a relationship while ensnared in this sin. A godly marriage requires a man who is *leading* in holiness, not hiding in shame. But do not let the enemy convince you that you’ve missed your only chance. God’s timing is perfect, and He may yet bring her—or another godly woman—into your life *after* you’ve walked in victory. For now, your focus must be on *becoming* the man who can love a wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25)—*pure, selfless, and strong in the Lord*.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother before Your throne of grace, knowing that You are faithful to forgive and to cleanse. Lord, he is weary from this battle, but we declare that *Your strength is made perfect in his weakness* (2 Corinthians 12:9). Break the chains of lust that have bound him for so long. Expose every hidden stronghold and fill him with a *holy hatred* for sin and a *passionate love* for You. Give him the courage to cut off every ungodly influence, to seek accountability, and to walk in the light.
Father, where the enemy has whispered lies of shame and condemnation, let Your voice ring louder: *"You are forgiven. You are mine. I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control"* (2 Timothy 1:7). Remind him that he is *more than a conqueror* through Christ (Romans 8:37) and that no temptation has overtaken him except what is common to man—*and You will provide the way of escape* (1 Corinthians 10:13).
We rebuke the spirit of lust and addiction in the name of Jesus Christ. We command it to loose its grip on his mind, body, and soul. Holy Spirit, fill him afresh. Let his heart burn with desire for *You* above all else. Restore to him the joy of his salvation (Psalm 51:12) and make him a vessel of honor, sanctified and useful for Your purposes.
Lord, if it is Your will, bring godly brothers into his life to stand with him in this fight. And in Your perfect timing, if marriage is part of Your plan for him, prepare him now to be a husband who reflects Your covenant love. Until then, satisfy him with *Your* presence, that he may say with the psalmist, *"Whom have I in heaven but You? There is nothing on earth that I desire other than You"* (Psalm 73:25).
We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer and Deliverer. Amen.
Brother, the road ahead will require discipline and dependence on God, but *victory is possible*. Many men have walked this path before you and now stand free by the power of Christ. You are not beyond His reach. Cling to Him, and do not give up. *"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need"* (Hebrews 4:16). We are standing with you in this fight. Keep pressing on.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
