Anonymous
Beloved of All
Am at the lowest point in my life. I don't want to live anymore. I have NO happiness. Nothing good in my life. Not one friend. Nobody who cares.
Dealing with persistent health issues (gotten worse & doctors have no answers), even have sick pets (possibly dying soon - it breaks my heart to see them not doing very well. Lost one pet almost exactly 1 year ago and it is so hard. They are all I have and I love them so much!)
I'm living on a small - fixed income that is not enough for my expenses and troubles continue, never letting up. I pray and pray and I have believed for miracles and for God to turn it around and others said they have been praying too, for years. No answers, no miracles and nothing seems to change. My faith is truly shaken to the core. I am at rock bottom and tired of calling out to God who has forgotten me or not pleased with me for whatever reason. I have asked daily for forgiveness, restoration, to take me back, grant me purpose for His glory and more. God is silent. I do not sense Him, hear Him, feel Him or anything - like so many say they have. No answered prayers for too many years. I cry from pain. I cry from intense loneliness and from feeling no love from God. No human interaction either.
I reach out to others all the time. I help people however I can. People have always taken advantage of my kindness and generosity and knowledge. People do it and they know I have no money and don't even offer to pay for help they would otherwise have to pay for. (I can't give specifics)
I give to a fault. I probably always will. I was in the profession of helping others and I was once good at it but am not able to work anymore. People know this and constantly ask for 'free advice' and it's overwhelming and not right. But I continue to do what I can to help others.
I don't know what to do anymore. Reading the Bible and praying doesn't seem to help. NOTHING does. Things have gotten worse NOT better. My faith is shaken and I am losing hope. I don't even feel like praying and my concentration isn't like it used to be for reading. It is difficult and I have lost interest in most everything.
My birthday is this week. I don't even want to live to see it. I have wanted to be married and have kids as long as I can remember. I'd be happy to have a godly spouse. Instead I have pain and suffering daily for many years. Yes, I am thankful for so much and do thank God daily, but really have nothing good in my life. I don't get around well, I have little strength. Difficulty eating/swallowing. Can only drink liquids. Nothing more. Lost about 80lbs and doctors have no idea what is going on. Suddenly a strange rash is spreading and nothing helping. I'm too weak to travel to other hospitals/clinics. I drop things often and I feel like passing out. I lose my balance and even fall over or fall to the ground sometimes. It makes me cry. I used to be quite strong and healthy. I want to be again. I pray and I pray to no avail. God just to eat/swallow and digest food again without difficulty. It's been over a year since I have eaten real food other than 'soup'/liquids. I long to put some weight and strength back on again. And to have a godly mate/companion and some good friends.
If God doesn't heal me or turn this around somehow and provide the needed financial and other blessings such as healing my pets, my parents and restoring what the enemy has tried to steal -- I mean serious miracles soon then I need you all to pray God will take me in my sleep! Things are that bad and I can't say more.
I cannot go on like this! Constant physical and even mental pain, anxiety, depression, no purpose in life and nobody cares about me. Such profound loneliness and feeling empty inside (which is almost incapacitating). The enemy tells me daily I'd be better off ending it. I try to fight it. But I have not much fight (if any) left. The thoughts circle my mind.
I cannot bear what is happening anymore - especially all alone and seeing my pets not well and not much longer with them. Being alone and having nobody through all I am facing is the worst. I want someone to love and someone to love me. I have a loving, generous, kind heart and would treat them wonderfully if I had someone.
I just don't want to live like this another day! GOD HELP ME! SEND MIRACLES (WHAT I HAVE PRAYED FOR) OR PLEASE TAKE ME IN MY SLEEP! IT IS JUST TOO MUCH!
Dealing with persistent health issues (gotten worse & doctors have no answers), even have sick pets (possibly dying soon - it breaks my heart to see them not doing very well. Lost one pet almost exactly 1 year ago and it is so hard. They are all I have and I love them so much!)
I'm living on a small - fixed income that is not enough for my expenses and troubles continue, never letting up. I pray and pray and I have believed for miracles and for God to turn it around and others said they have been praying too, for years. No answers, no miracles and nothing seems to change. My faith is truly shaken to the core. I am at rock bottom and tired of calling out to God who has forgotten me or not pleased with me for whatever reason. I have asked daily for forgiveness, restoration, to take me back, grant me purpose for His glory and more. God is silent. I do not sense Him, hear Him, feel Him or anything - like so many say they have. No answered prayers for too many years. I cry from pain. I cry from intense loneliness and from feeling no love from God. No human interaction either.
I reach out to others all the time. I help people however I can. People have always taken advantage of my kindness and generosity and knowledge. People do it and they know I have no money and don't even offer to pay for help they would otherwise have to pay for. (I can't give specifics)
I give to a fault. I probably always will. I was in the profession of helping others and I was once good at it but am not able to work anymore. People know this and constantly ask for 'free advice' and it's overwhelming and not right. But I continue to do what I can to help others.
I don't know what to do anymore. Reading the Bible and praying doesn't seem to help. NOTHING does. Things have gotten worse NOT better. My faith is shaken and I am losing hope. I don't even feel like praying and my concentration isn't like it used to be for reading. It is difficult and I have lost interest in most everything.
My birthday is this week. I don't even want to live to see it. I have wanted to be married and have kids as long as I can remember. I'd be happy to have a godly spouse. Instead I have pain and suffering daily for many years. Yes, I am thankful for so much and do thank God daily, but really have nothing good in my life. I don't get around well, I have little strength. Difficulty eating/swallowing. Can only drink liquids. Nothing more. Lost about 80lbs and doctors have no idea what is going on. Suddenly a strange rash is spreading and nothing helping. I'm too weak to travel to other hospitals/clinics. I drop things often and I feel like passing out. I lose my balance and even fall over or fall to the ground sometimes. It makes me cry. I used to be quite strong and healthy. I want to be again. I pray and I pray to no avail. God just to eat/swallow and digest food again without difficulty. It's been over a year since I have eaten real food other than 'soup'/liquids. I long to put some weight and strength back on again. And to have a godly mate/companion and some good friends.
If God doesn't heal me or turn this around somehow and provide the needed financial and other blessings such as healing my pets, my parents and restoring what the enemy has tried to steal -- I mean serious miracles soon then I need you all to pray God will take me in my sleep! Things are that bad and I can't say more.
I cannot go on like this! Constant physical and even mental pain, anxiety, depression, no purpose in life and nobody cares about me. Such profound loneliness and feeling empty inside (which is almost incapacitating). The enemy tells me daily I'd be better off ending it. I try to fight it. But I have not much fight (if any) left. The thoughts circle my mind.
I cannot bear what is happening anymore - especially all alone and seeing my pets not well and not much longer with them. Being alone and having nobody through all I am facing is the worst. I want someone to love and someone to love me. I have a loving, generous, kind heart and would treat them wonderfully if I had someone.
I just don't want to live like this another day! GOD HELP ME! SEND MIRACLES (WHAT I HAVE PRAYED FOR) OR PLEASE TAKE ME IN MY SLEEP! IT IS JUST TOO MUCH!
