First and foremost the Lord loves you, secondly I can think of at least eight reasons to be depressed and if I look further back when I was younger there were several more severe issues that would make me want to end my life. Yes, this same urge enter my mind several times but I know there must be a purpose and even if I do not see it now one day it will all be clear. Love can make a person sick at heart, but worse yet to feel that you are second rate in everyone's life. I am saying as much as I can say in a public forum, but if you desire to speak to someone please email me I will do my best to understand your feeling just please do not harm your self. God loves you so much and his heart is now breaking, you must remember all problems are cost by freewill. The person that choose to cause you pain chose too not God, the disease that might be causing you someone you know pain which is caused by human destroying the environment, and everything else God did not cause our problems the world did. So please find a loving Christian or Christian so that you may explore what is causing you this grief, for I cannot began to try and help you. I love you be it man/or woman I will pray for you and hope everything turns out well, for our creator is routing for you to pull through.