im falling apart

[Unregistered]

lord my while life is falling apart. I lost someone who ment the world to me, and right now i could just roll over and die, it feels like that would be a lot more easier than living without her. Ive never loved anyone as much as Kristen, i know the mistakes ive made caused us to break up but they were not that bad i just wish we could have communicated better so i would have been able to see what it was i was doing.

i love her and her daughter more than the world. ive started drinking heavy, i started smoking again, i cant eat right, im trying to but i cant. i just wish i had another chance to make things right. I wish i could have been more trusting and realized that she loved me as much as she did. last time i ended up in the hospital in the icu and that is what brought us closer, i would be more than glad to go through that pain again just to have her beside me at night. i would take getting hit by a bus.

ive tried to move on and meet other people.

it just isnt seeming to work, all i can think about is her before i go to bed. if i had another chance i would never take her for granted again. she was the only one that i knew that could make me smile and laugh no matter what kind of mood i was in.

every time i looked in her eyes it felt like christmas morning, i wish instead of running we could have battled through what was going on. there are times i think it would be so much easier to be dead, and i dont want to think like that or have that happen, im just hurting so bad. We are still talking every now and then but it seems are are drifting farther apart and its killing me. tomorrow we are meeting up to give eachother their stuff back and play putt putt, please let tomorrow go good and bring us closer together so maybe we can work through this, we were so happy together.

they say if you love someone than to let them go, if they come back they are yours forever. i let her go once and she came back, im scared this time she wont and the only trouble we had is something that we can fix easy, its just if we get back together we need to communicate better. she was the angel on top of my tree. if i had one more chance i would do everything right.

lord i am in worse shape than any other time in my life. I just wish i had one more chance, then if it didnt work out this time then it never will.... i just took our whole relationship for granted. and then i got scared. sometimes i talk to much and say things i shouldnt. please help me my lord, maybe tomorrow can spark something new in us and let us rebuild our relationship, or it could be the last time i ever see her again and that hurts so bad i want to rip my heart out.

Please lord give me a sign, something that i will know what path to take. I want nothing more than to hold her in my arms and here her say i love you again. in jesus name i pray, amen

 

[Liz1]

Lord give him the strength tovercome his addictions and help him find the path back to the woman he loves. Amen

 

[cdrrps]

Lord, watch over this individual, and provide him with the guidance and strength that he needs.

 

[Adam283]

i thank those of you who prayed for me, i decided to sign up and i'll let everyone know how everything goes, i asked the lord for a sign to let me know what is going on and im pretty sure on where to find it i just have to wait till later and im sure he will give me the sign, i think its in the necklace i gave her, she still wore it for a while after we broke up and i havent seen her in a long time so if she still has it on then i still have a chance to work things out with her, if its not.... please lord let that be the sign that im looking for.

 

[silentangel]

Lord, May your hand of mercy be upon this guest. Be with him as he walks through this valley. You have opened his eyes and shown him his sin. He has confessed it before your throne and before your prayer warriors. Thank you for his forgiveness. Bathe him in your forgiveness and love. Let him feel your arms of protection around him, night and day. I understand the pain he feels, the hurt that won't go away. But you alone Lord, can make him feel safe and trusting again. You alone can heal him. Send him the help he needs to overcome his drinking and his self-destructive behavior. Let him get clean again and then try to reconcile his relationship so that she can see he means business and that he wants to try to restore their committment. We wait on you Lord. A-men