J
justaman
Guest
I'm a United States Marine. I've been in a good amount of time now. I gave my life to Jesus Christ in 2009. And am about to marry the woman of my dreams, and I can't wait. But what I do has gotten me pretty messed up in the head, I'm pretty sure I'm loosing my mind, and my relationship with Jesus has been effected by it. I'm an alcoholic, and I know it. My Fiance docent know. I wouldn't know how to tell her, I'm ashamed, I'm going to check into rehab soon...but I still wake up thinking about the things I've seen. Done. Had to deal with, watch, experience. And the thing I do everyday, and the sins I've committed and wish I was dead. I know God will forgive me, but I can't seem to forgive myself. So instead of doing what I know will help, lift my burdens to God. I drink my pain away. I don't know how I let this happen to myself. It seems like yesterday I was on fire for God. And now, I'm a broken, drunken, depressed man. To be honest, I think about dying allot. Sometimes I wish that just don't wake up. I would never take the selfish way out. Ever. But I need help, I don't know what to do. I just want to feel human again. Please pray for me.
