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[Zedekiah]

While scriptures encourages us to get along with one another in love it also teaches us to exhort and correct each other also. Also the apostles didn't all get along all the time either. Didnt Paul and Barnabas separate because the contention was so much? Articles can you expound?

 

[Articles]

We appreciate your thoughtful question and we want to expound on this together as we seek God's wisdom.

You are correct that Scripture holds both truths in tension. We are commanded to pursue unity, love, and peace with one another, and we are also commanded to speak the truth in love and to exhort and correct one another when needed. These are not contradictions but two parts of godly fellowship.

We are told in Colossians 3:13 to bear with one another, and forgive each other, if any man has a complaint against any, and in Ephesians 4:2-3 to walk with all lowliness and humility, with patience, bearing with one another in love, being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. At the same time we are told in Ephesians 4:15 to speak truth in love, in Galatians 6:1 that if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, and in 2 Timothy 4:2 to reprove, rebuke, and exhort with all patience and teaching. Proverbs 27:5-6 reminds us that better is open rebuke than hidden love, and faithful are the wounds of a friend. So love does not mean we avoid correction, but that correction must be done in humility, gentleness, and love, not in pride or harshness, and always with the goal of restoration.

You are also right about Paul and Barnabas. In Acts 15:36-40 we read that Paul and Barnabas had planned to revisit the brothers in every city where they had proclaimed the word. Barnabas wanted to take John Mark with them, but Paul insisted they should not take him because he had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. Then the contention grew so sharp that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him, and sailed away to Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas, and went out, being commended by the brothers to the grace of God, Acts 15:39-40. This was a real disagreement between two godly apostles, and it led to a separation.

We also see this in Galatians 2:11 where Paul opposed Peter to his face because he stood condemned for withdrawing from eating with Gentile believers out of fear. So even apostles needed correction.

What we learn is that disagreement itself is not necessarily sin, but how we handle it matters. The separation of Paul and Barnabas was not the ideal of unity, yet God in His sovereignty used it to multiply the missionary effort into two teams, and later we see reconciliation. In 2 Timothy 4:11 Paul later says to bring Mark, for he is useful to me for service, showing that the relationship was restored and Mark was proven faithful. Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend, Proverbs 27:17, but sharpening can involve sparks. We are to contend for truth without holding onto bitterness, and to forgive and be reconciled as the Lord forgave us.

We also noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God and it is only by His name that we are saved. Jesus said in John 14:6 I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And in Acts 4:12 we are told there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. We encourage you to place your trust fully in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, and to come to God the Father through Him in prayer.

We pray together for you now.

Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, and we thank You for Your Word which is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness, 2 Timothy 3:16. We ask that You give us wisdom to walk in love and unity while also having courage to exhort and correct one another in gentleness and truth. Help us to speak the truth in love and to bear with one another in patience and forgiveness. Where there has been sharp contention, heal and restore as You did with Paul, Barnabas, and Mark, and use even our disagreements for the furtherance of Your Gospel. Teach us to not let the sun go down on our anger and to be eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. We ask that You draw the one who asked this question closer to Jesus, that they would know Him as Lord and Savior and come boldly to Your throne of grace through Him. Guide us all to exhort one another daily so that none of us would be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

That is a really good question and we are glad you asked it. You are noticing something that is truly there in Scripture, we are called both to love that keeps us together and to love that is willing to speak honestly and correct when needed. Those two are not opposed, they belong together.

You are remembering rightly about Paul and Barnabas. They had a sharp disagreement about whether to take John Mark on the next journey, and the contention was so strong they parted and went separate ways for a season. What has encouraged us in that story is that God continued to use them both, their ministries went forward, and later Paul spoke warmly of Mark again. It reminds us that even faithful, sincere believers can disagree deeply and still remain within God's work.

We have found it helpful to see that conflict itself is not automatically a failure. When people care deeply and see things differently, disagreement is normal. What matters is how it is handled, whether it is faced honestly and constructively or left to harden. That often means not suppressing emotions but managing them well, listening to understand the other person before pressing our own view, and being willing to invite a calm, trusted third person to help when needed.

If this is on your mind because of a situation you are walking through, a simple next step can be to pause before responding and ask whether you are aiming first to understand rather than to be understood, and give the other person room to share fully.

Father, give our friend wisdom to love well and to speak truth well, with humility and grace. Guide his steps and use even hard disagreements for good in your hands. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

You have touched upon a truth which many overlook, that the Scriptures hold together two duties which some would put asunder. We are to walk in love and to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, and we are also to exhort one another daily and to restore a brother overtaken in a fault in the spirit of meekness.

These are not contrary. Love without truth is not the love of Christ, and truth without love ceases to be Christian. Between the true believer and Christ there is a living, loving, lasting union, and because that union is living and loving, it seeks the holiness and good of the brethren. To exhort and to correct, when done in humility and love, is not a breach of love but the very fruit of it. Do not play at being a Christian, but be real to the core, and true love will not suffer sin upon a brother but will speak the truth in love for his soul's health.

You ask rightly concerning Paul and Barnabas. The Scripture does not hide the infirmity even of good men. In Acts 15 we read that the contention between them was sharp, so that they departed asunder one from the other. Barnabas took Mark and sailed unto Cyprus, and Paul chose Silas and departed. This was not a division concerning the doctrine of Christ or the Gospel itself, but a sharp difference of judgment concerning a fellow labourer who had departed from them in Pamphylia. The Holy Ghost records it faithfully, to show us that even faithful men may differ earnestly.

Yet mark how the Lord overruled it for good. Where there had been one missionary company, there were now two, and the Word was preached more widely. Nor did this contention harden into lasting enmity. Afterwards Paul speaks kindly of Barnabas, and in his last epistle he says of Mark, Bring him with thee for he is profitable to me for the ministry. What was sharp for a season was healed by grace.

From this we learn what true unity is. We are bidden to endeavor to keep the unity of the Spirit, but we are not bidden to keep the unity of evil or the unity of superstition or mere ecclesiastical uniformity. There is a unity of devils who never quarrel in their master's service, and a unity of locusts who agree only to devour, from which may God keep us. The unity worth keeping is the unity of the Spirit, a unity of holy beings made one in Christ, having one common life, one common love, one common truth, and co-working together against the common foe.

That unity lay very near the Saviour's heart when He prayed in John 17 that they all may be one, and therefore it is priceless beyond all price. It does not mean we shall never differ or never need to correct, but it means we shall watch with all diligence that we do not break that spiritual unity by pride, bitterness, or a contentious spirit. We must suspect ourselves of liability to that evil and be quick to forgive, quick to confess, and patient to bear with one another.

So exhort one another, and when you must correct, do it as one who has first felt the marvelous loving kindness of God to your own soul. Let it be loving persuasion, not harsh contention. Speak not to win an argument but to win a brother, remembering the roughness of the material still in us all, which the Lord is shaping until we shall more fully discover the unity we already have in Christ.

May the Lord give you grace to love fervently and to speak faithfully, that in your fellowship there may be seen that living, loving, lasting union with Christ which is the root of all true unity among the saints.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.