I would like to greet everyone in the wonderful name of my personal Lord and savior. I am a born again woman of God and have been facing difficulties in my life. I am 39 years old and have been working for a company tirelessly, teaching other staff members about the word of God. I got fired in this company irrespective of no complaints, nor internal processes being followed. That was in May till now. I am diagnosed of depression and now where I am renting since I could not pay rent this month, they switched off electricity. I am running away from the bank that sold the car to me am in such a mess . I reported the matter to CCMA for unfair dismissal and till to date nothing is happening with the case. I do not understand why I should leave like this after being a child of God. The pain is unbearable I cannot take it anymore. When people are asleep I am wide awake and I don't even have tears not anymore. I have asked my pastors and brothers and sisters from where i fellowship and all i was told was that all will be well. I am traumatized by such words without any assistance, I even doubt God is still there. It feels as if salvation is for certain individuals. One Reverend I poured my heart to, asked me to have sex with him not in so many words but he said I should visit him and sleep next to him. It is pointless to be alive, I am writing this with my last strength.