I want to do a kind act to somebody I bullied

[Caden202]

I don't have the heart to talk to him directly because of my anxiety, but his Nan lives in my street so I thought of giving his Nan money for him, and admit that I bullied him. Pray for this to happen if it's Jesus's will, also pray for me to stop commiting lust, thank you God bless!

 

[Articles]

We join with you in prayer and we thank God for the work He is already doing in your heart, for it is godly sorrow that leads to repentance and a desire to make things right.

Your desire to make amends for bullying this young man is a good and biblical impulse. The Scripture says in Proverbs 28:13, He who conceals his sins doesn’t prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them obtains mercy. And in Matthew 5:23-24 we are taught that if we remember our brother has something against us, we should first be reconciled to our brother. Zacchaeus is a beautiful example of restitution when he said in Luke 19:8, Behold, Lord, half of my goods I give to the poor. If I have wrongfully exacted anything of anyone, I restore four times as much. Giving back or giving a gift can be a fruit of repentance, but we want to encourage you to see that money alone does not bring reconciliation without a sincere and humble confession.

We understand your anxiety makes it very hard to speak to him directly, and we do not minimize that struggle. God understands our weakness and He wants to give you courage and peace. For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control in 2 Timothy 1:7, and in Philippians 4:6-7 we are told, In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. We pray that God will guard your heart and give you peace as you seek to obey Him.

If speaking face to face feels impossible right now, a sincere written note given to his Nan to pass on, in which you plainly admit what you did, ask for his forgiveness, and offer the gift not as payment for forgiveness but as a humble act of kindness and restitution, can be an honest step. Be mindful also to not put his Nan in a difficult position, so keep the note clear, respectful, and without pressure for him to respond. Ask the Lord to prepare his heart and his Nan's heart, and if it is Jesus will, He will open that door. Above all, let your motive be love and true repentance, not just relief from guilt, because God sees the heart.

We also stand with you in your struggle against lust. We commend your honesty in bringing this before God. Lust is a serious sin that wars against the soul, and God calls us to flee from it, not to manage it or make peace with it. In 1 Corinthians 6:18 we are commanded, Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. And in Galatians 5:16 we are promised, Walk by the Spirit, and you won’t fulfill the lust of the flesh. This is not a battle you can win in your own strength, but through the Holy Spirit, through daily renewal of your mind in Romans 12:2, through cutting off sources of temptation, through accountability with a mature Christian brother, and through earnest prayer. In Psalm 51:10 David prayed, Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. That must be our prayer as well. When we confess, God is faithful, for 1 John 1:9 says, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

We now pray together for you in Jesus name.

Father, we come before Your throne in the name of Jesus Christ, our only mediator and Savior, and we thank You for this dear one who desires to do what is right. Lord, we ask that You would search his heart and grant him true repentance that bears fruit. If it is Your will, make a way for this kind act to reach this young man through his Nan, prepare that household to receive it with grace, and use it to bring healing to the one who was bullied. Take away anxiety and fill him with Your power, love and self-control, give him courage to confess humbly and clearly, whether by letter or by words You provide, and let reconciliation be for Your glory. Lord, we also lift up his battle with lust. Forgive him, cleanse him, create in him a clean heart, and teach him to flee temptation and walk by Your Spirit. Help him to guard his eyes and his mind, to fill his heart with Your Word, and to walk in purity and self-control. Give him victory through Jesus Christ who strengthens him, and let him know the peace that surpasses all understanding. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus, amen.

We encourage you to stay in the Word daily, to pray without ceasing, and to seek fellowship with a trusted pastor or godly older believer who can walk with you in both of these areas, hold you accountable, and pray with you face to face. God is faithful to complete the good work He has begun in you.

 

[hostadmin]

We appreciate your honesty in wanting to make something right after bullying someone. That desire to own what happened and to show kindness now takes real humility, and we hear how heavy anxiety feels when you think about facing him directly.

Thinking of reaching out through his Nan with a gift and an honest acknowledgement comes from a good place. It can help to pause and ask whether that puts her in an awkward middle position, and whether he would understand the gift clearly for what it is. One simple next step that often helps is to write a brief, sincere note in your own words to go with any gift, stating plainly that you are sorry for how you treated him and that you want to offer this as a gesture of care with no strings attached. Before you give it, consider sharing the note and your plan with a trusted pastor or mature believer who knows you both, praying together for wisdom about timing and the best way for it to be received. That extra counsel can protect everyone's dignity.

We also hear your desire to turn from lust. You don't have to carry that struggle alone, walking with one faithful person for prayer and accountability can be a steady help alongside prayer.

We are praying for you.

Father, we lift this brother to You in Jesus' name. Give him wisdom and peace as he seeks to make amends if it is Your will, calm his anxious heart, and strengthen him to walk in purity. Lead him step by step and let him know Your forgiveness and nearness. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your desire to make right what was done wrong shows a conscience that God Himself is touching, and for that we give thanks. There is a repentance that is only of the flesh, a carnal sorrow that does not give God glory, and there is a true repentance which is the work of the Holy Spirit in the renewed heart. True repentance gives God glory, it makes a rainbow with tears of grief for sin and glances of hope at the love of Christ and His finished work. It is not a thing done once and forgotten, for repentance lives as long as faith lives, and sweet sister repentance is charming company all the way to glory.

Such repentance is the gift of God, to be preached in the name of Jesus, and it is inseparable from faith. The repentance which ejects sin as an evil tenant and the faith which admits Christ to be sole master of the heart go together. One pulls down and the other builds up. Have you a repentance that leads you to look out of self to Christ and to Christ only, weeping and abhorring past sin because of the love of Christ who pardoned it, and avoiding present sin because of the love of God who died for you. That is the repentance unto life which preserves the soul and which will be known by this test, that it yields works meet for repentance and that it lasts. It is practical. Where there is no true repentance there can be no remission, but where there is that godly sorrow which needs not to be repented of, there is full and free forgiveness in Jesus.

You speak of anxiety that keeps you from speaking directly to the one you bullied, and of a plan to give money through his grandmother with a confession. The goodness of God leads us to repentance, not by driving but by drawing, and anxiety itself has never brought comfort or profit to any soul. Our Savior would have us not be in a state of worry and fretfulness about what we must do, for anxiety unfits us to meet the very difficulty we fear. Be prudent and prayerful. A practical repentance does seek to make amends where possible, and to do so in a way that truly honors the one wronged and gives God glory. If you are able, with humility and plain honesty, to confess directly and to restore what you can, that is often the most loving course, though it may require courage that only God can give. If anxiety truly overwhelms you, seek a wise and godly pastor or mature believer to counsel you and perhaps to go with you, that the confession be clear, humble and kind, and that the gift be received as a sincere fruit of repentance and not as confusion. Ask the Lord to show you the right way, for He will guide the contrite heart.

You also ask for prayer to be kept from lust. This too belongs to true repentance. It is not enough to be sorry for past indulgence, we must by the grace of God turn from present sin because we love Him who loved us. This repentance is also a gift, wrought in us by the Spirit as we think upon our sin and upon the goodness of God to us in Christ. Keep looking to Jesus, in whom alone is salvation, and pray that He would keep your heart and mind pure.

Let us pray together. O gracious Father, we thank You for Your goodness which leads sinners to repentance. Grant to this dear soul true repentance unto life, not a passing sorrow of the flesh but that holy work of Your Spirit which gives You glory and looks to Jesus Christ alone for pardon. Grant faith to receive remission of sins in His name, and works meet for repentance that are practical and lasting. Take away anxiety and give quiet trust, that Your child may do what is right in Your sight with humility and love, and with wise counsel. Deliver from the power of lust, and create a clean heart that abhors sin and loves holiness because of Your great mercy. Keep this one in Christ, and make repentance and faith to live and grow each day till You call home. In the name of Jesus our only Savior we ask it, Amen.