Silas
Beloved Servant
I hear the depth of your pain, and I do not take it lightly. You are walking through a season where the darkness feels thick, where promises seem broken, and where the silence of heaven is deafening. You are not alone in that cry. Many throughout Scripture have lifted their voices in the same anguish, and God has always been near, even when he seemed absent.
The world you see is not the world God created. We live in a time when rebellion still has its way, and Satan holds a measure of authority over this age. Jesus has been given all authority, but we do not yet see everything in subjection to him. That day is coming, but for now, we see the consequences of a world that has rejected his rule. Suffering, injustice, and darkness are not signs of God’s indifference but of a creation groaning for redemption. He has not forsaken the world, nor has he forsaken you.
You spoke of a promise you believed God gave you concerning someone you love. When time passes and things look the opposite of what we thought God said, it can cut deeper than anything else. But God’s promises are not always fulfilled on our timeline or in the way we imagine. He is not a genie obligated to grant wishes; his purpose is to accomplish his will, and often he leads us through seasons of waiting to test and deepen our trust. The trust you offer him now, in this dark place of not understanding, is of greater value than the trust you offered when everything made sense. When you cling to him without seeing, that brings glory to his name in a way that easy days never can.
You work in a place where the vulnerable are mistreated and greed overrides compassion. It is a heavy thing to witness evil up close and feel powerless to stop it. But remember that Jesus left his disciples in the world, not to be swallowed by it, but to be light in the very darkness that despises them. You were placed there for a purpose. The darkness may not bow to your efforts, but your steadfastness, your integrity, your quiet refusal to participate in sin, that is a witness. God often puts his treasure in earthen vessels so it is clear the surpassing power belongs to him and not to us. You may not see change, but your prayers and your presence are not wasted. He uses his people as salt in a decaying world.
Your heart has begun to hope for hell as a way for justice to be done, and I understand the cry for right to prevail. But be careful, for that desire can twist into something that harms your own soul. The same mercy that saved you is the mercy that holds back judgment, giving time for repentance. Trust that God will judge perfectly, in his time. You do not need to carry that weight. Release it to him. He is not slack concerning his promises, and no act of cruelty escapes his notice. Vengeance belongs to him, not to us.
You are lonely. Many who follow Christ in a hostile world feel that isolation. But you are not alone. Jesus himself prayed for you before his throne, that you would be kept from the evil one, that you would be one with him and with his people. Draw near to him through his Word, because the more you know him, the easier it is to trust him. Faith is not a feeling; it is a grip on the character of God when every feeling screams otherwise. He is El Shaddai, the all-sufficient one. When your strength is gone, his remains.
What you are living through is real and raw, but it is not the end. This life is a vapor. The day is coming when Christ returns and all things will be made right. There will be no more sickness, no more corrupt institutions, no more broken relationships. You will see what the world could have been if only we had lived under his loving rule. In the meantime, your suffering is not meaningless. It is working in you an eternal weight of glory far beyond anything you can imagine. Hold on to that perspective. Asaph in Psalm 73 almost lost his footing when he looked only at the present, but when he entered the sanctuary and saw the end of the wicked and the nearness of God, his peace returned.
Keep bringing your sorrow to the Lord. He is not offended by your questions. He wants your trust, even when it is battered and bruised. The dark days will pass. Until then, may the Spirit fill you with a love that does not grow cold, and may you see glimpses of his hand even in the shadows. You are not forsaken.
The world you see is not the world God created. We live in a time when rebellion still has its way, and Satan holds a measure of authority over this age. Jesus has been given all authority, but we do not yet see everything in subjection to him. That day is coming, but for now, we see the consequences of a world that has rejected his rule. Suffering, injustice, and darkness are not signs of God’s indifference but of a creation groaning for redemption. He has not forsaken the world, nor has he forsaken you.
You spoke of a promise you believed God gave you concerning someone you love. When time passes and things look the opposite of what we thought God said, it can cut deeper than anything else. But God’s promises are not always fulfilled on our timeline or in the way we imagine. He is not a genie obligated to grant wishes; his purpose is to accomplish his will, and often he leads us through seasons of waiting to test and deepen our trust. The trust you offer him now, in this dark place of not understanding, is of greater value than the trust you offered when everything made sense. When you cling to him without seeing, that brings glory to his name in a way that easy days never can.
You work in a place where the vulnerable are mistreated and greed overrides compassion. It is a heavy thing to witness evil up close and feel powerless to stop it. But remember that Jesus left his disciples in the world, not to be swallowed by it, but to be light in the very darkness that despises them. You were placed there for a purpose. The darkness may not bow to your efforts, but your steadfastness, your integrity, your quiet refusal to participate in sin, that is a witness. God often puts his treasure in earthen vessels so it is clear the surpassing power belongs to him and not to us. You may not see change, but your prayers and your presence are not wasted. He uses his people as salt in a decaying world.
Your heart has begun to hope for hell as a way for justice to be done, and I understand the cry for right to prevail. But be careful, for that desire can twist into something that harms your own soul. The same mercy that saved you is the mercy that holds back judgment, giving time for repentance. Trust that God will judge perfectly, in his time. You do not need to carry that weight. Release it to him. He is not slack concerning his promises, and no act of cruelty escapes his notice. Vengeance belongs to him, not to us.
You are lonely. Many who follow Christ in a hostile world feel that isolation. But you are not alone. Jesus himself prayed for you before his throne, that you would be kept from the evil one, that you would be one with him and with his people. Draw near to him through his Word, because the more you know him, the easier it is to trust him. Faith is not a feeling; it is a grip on the character of God when every feeling screams otherwise. He is El Shaddai, the all-sufficient one. When your strength is gone, his remains.
What you are living through is real and raw, but it is not the end. This life is a vapor. The day is coming when Christ returns and all things will be made right. There will be no more sickness, no more corrupt institutions, no more broken relationships. You will see what the world could have been if only we had lived under his loving rule. In the meantime, your suffering is not meaningless. It is working in you an eternal weight of glory far beyond anything you can imagine. Hold on to that perspective. Asaph in Psalm 73 almost lost his footing when he looked only at the present, but when he entered the sanctuary and saw the end of the wicked and the nearness of God, his peace returned.
Keep bringing your sorrow to the Lord. He is not offended by your questions. He wants your trust, even when it is battered and bruised. The dark days will pass. Until then, may the Spirit fill you with a love that does not grow cold, and may you see glimpses of his hand even in the shadows. You are not forsaken.
