J
Jenny712
Guest
I think I have grown in my struggle with my father issues and in a good way. I don't feel as needy for an earthly father as I used to. Like sometimes I feel one would be nice but I don't feel as needy for an earthly father as I have gown closer to my Heavenly Father and I have been depending on Him as Father and relating to Him more that way. I am still gonna struggle sometimes but its not as bad as it was. Like before I was a little girl inside and I on the inside really had not grown up yet and I was still wanting things that only little girls want such as being tucked in at night etc. But GOD has really helped me in those needy area's I could at times feel Him physically holding me and stuff like that and I know deep inside like in the core of my being that He's always gonna be there and whenever I ask Him to hold me He will and I know that weather I feel it or not He's always got me and as the Bible says nothing in all creation past or present or future not angels not demons nothing will separate me from His love. It has taken a while for me to get here as I always scared He would leave me or get really mad at me and it has taken me a while to learn that He really loves me beyond my understanding. But now I'm getting it and still learning as I believe I always will be learning about GOD as He is infinite can't get to the end of GOD. But He has helped me to learn that I can go to Him as my Father at anytime I want and He will always be there for me and I have finally grown up inside. I no longer want those things that little girls want anymore those things no longer interest me anymore. And also when I was in little girl mode I wasn't interested in dating or anything like that at all. was simply not interested in that cause I had not really grown up yet. But as I have grown up I finally find myself suddenly interested in dating someone someday. I actually like that idea now and I like thinking about that and it feels good. It feels good to want something that other adults want and not something that children want. I always felt a bit weird wanting things that only children want not that anyone picked on me for it or anything but that did feel weird. I dunno if I will date anyone or not as I don't know if GOD wants me to date or not but I like that thought. And I was also thinking last night of maybe marrying someone someday and I liked the thought. I dunno if I'll ever marry or not but I was just simply enjoying the thought of it and for once it didn't feel icky. Like before in my little girl mode I was still in the thinking that dating and marrying was icky cause I was thinking like a child. But now those thoughts don't feel icky anymore and like I said I dunno if I'll date or marry or not but for right now I'm enjoying thinking those things without feeling icky about it. I actually prayed for a husband last night and I believe that's the first time I've ever prayed for that and I liked praying for that it felt good. So please keep me in prayer that GOD will help me to continue to learn and grow in this area as I like growing up this feels good.
