A
andi323
Guest
I thank You, Jesus, that I was able to hold Ben for a few minutes and let him rest and find a little peace. I know he is tired. He is physically tired because he never sleeps anymore. He is mentally tired trying to cope with and deal with the problems he's facing with his sons. His heart is tired, Lord, from all the brokeness and from the daily beating it takes from his enemy. But I pray that his spirit, the one he doesn't even realize he has, will be freed from the desolation and pain the enemy has trapped him in. Please keep Ben physically safe as he does not always make the wisest choices for himself. Please keep Ben emotionally safe, hold his broken heart in Your hands, give it shelter as it begins to heal. Keep him spiritually safe as in prayer and faith I stand in the gap for him, asking for Your forgiveness and mercy and grace on his behalf. Keep calling his name, Father, be persistent, non-ceasing. Pursue him as You do Your children, with strength and devotion and love and kindness. I ask the Holy Spirit to hover over Ben, to brood over him, to cover him. I ask You, Holy Spirit, to keep Your eyes on this man as he is being freed from prison he does not even realize he's in. Everything in Ben's life that is hurting him, that is of sin, that is of the enemy, Holy Spirit, please simply fix Your gaze upon it and it will disappear like vapor. Fix Your Holy gaze on the areas of his life that pull him further and further away from any light, deeper and deeper into the darkness the enemy has waiting for him. Gaze upon the alcohol, and the desire for it and the taste for it will disappear; the numbness it has provided him til now will wear off. Turn Your gaze to the people and friends who are such negative influences on him. And they will fade away into the midst. Gaze deep, deep within Ben's heart and mind, and all the strongholds and all the idols and all the deception poured into him by the enemy will shatter, scatter, and fall. Hold this man steady as his face is lifted up, as his eyes are directed to see a God he does not know, has never known. The enemy has flooded him with condemnation, guilt, depression, despair, and pours blame into his mind for everything that has gone wrong with his sons. Satan works so hard, is so convincing, playing back old movies from our lives that highlight our failures or pain or losses or mistakes. He works so hard to get us to accept the pain and blame, then he stands back and laughs as we cry. Ben cried in my arms yesterday and I could almost hear the enemy's laugh. But Father, my silent prayers to you and Your quiet words to me drowned the laughter out. Please, Jehovah, please silence the laughter Ben hears in the depths of his self-blame, self-loathing, and judgement. Hold still his heart as storms swirl around him, as You begin to break through the darkness, through the storms, through the prison walls surrounding him. Hold still his heart as You begin the good work in him that You have promised to see to completion. Allow Ben to somehow see himself through Your eyes, and enable him to believe what he sees. I go through so much pain, despair, depression, hopelessness as I fight as best I can for this man's heart and soul and life. The enemy turns his stare to me as my words to You reach his ears. He has studied me all my life, Father, and he knows where all the hurt lies. He knows exactly the words, events, memories to bring back to me from my past. Things that wounded me so much through my lfe, things that still can knock me down. But I, through You, am a fighter. When I love, I love fiercely and I love without giving up. My children, my family, and Ben and his boys I will fight for, I will continue to get back up after being knocked down because this is truly life or death. And the enemy has already taken too much from me - he did not want me to grow stronger. He did not want me to live through the many, many attempts to either kill me physically or definitely emotionally and spiritually. He did not want me to rise from the ashes. Thank You, Jehovah, that Your gentleness has made me grow stronger and stronger every day.I do not care if the enemy fixes his gaze on me. Mine will be on him also, and in the name of Jesus the Conqueror I will take the fight to his gates. Thank You, Father, for incubating me as You have done these past 4-5 months, for drawing me out into the wilderness and dealing tenderly with me there, I have tried so hard to be patient and to hear You and to learn from all of this recent failure what You're trying to show me. I will emerge from this stronger, bolder, and then I will be truly a threat to the enemy and You and my prayers,Lord, will take back the people he's taken hostage. Thank You, Lord, that the very worst things that have happened to me were allowed to happen. You are making me a fighter, and although I do not deserve the position, I thank You for it. Thank You for this board I "accidentally" found, for the awesome prayer warriors here, for all the encouragement I found while going through one of my darkest darkest times. Let the enemy try to call my bluff again...with Your strength and love and power I will fight. I will simply continue to fight. I am the only person in Ben's life praying for him, and I know this is at least one reason we came into each others' lives. I was placed here for such a time as this. I will pray unceasingly, and I will keep looking to the sky, and I will someday see that small cloud the size of a man's hand and I will know the rains are coming. No more drought, no more desolation. I hear the sound of a mighty storm coming. In Your Son's name, I love You - Amen.
