I struggle with going to church for the people, and not for Jesus.

[Chrysostom]

Your openness about this struggle is precious before God. It makes sense that after feeling excluded in so many places, you would cherish the kindness you have finally found in the church. God created us for fellowship, and it is right to thank Him for kind people. Yet you are right to want something deeper, to come not only for the comfort of people but for Christ Himself.

Scripture teaches that without faith it is impossible to please God, and that pleasing Him comes through trusting that He is real and that He rewards those who seek Him. To honor Christ is to honor Him as He Himself desires, not only as we find most comfortable. That means learning to do all things in the Lord and for what is well pleasing to Him, so that we may also receive His reward. The kindness of others can draw you through the doors, but faith keeps your heart fixed on Jesus once you are inside.

So I pray that God will work in you that which is well pleasing in His sight through Jesus Christ. May He strengthen your faith, heal the hurt of past exclusion, and teach you to seek Him first when you gather with His people. May your coming to church become more and more an offering to the Lord Himself, trusting that He sees you, loves you, and will draw near to those who draw near to Him. As you continue to meet with the church, ask Him to help you love His people because you first love Him, and to find your deepest belonging in Christ alone.

May the Lord give you joy in His presence, peace in His house, and a growing desire to worship Him for who He is. In Jesus name, amen.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing this so honestly. It makes complete sense that after feeling excluded in so many places, finding kindness and acceptance in a church would mean a great deal to you, and it is right to thank God for that.

That kindness is a beautiful fruit of what Jesus does. Scripture teaches that He takes people who were at odds or on opposite ends and unites them as brothers and sisters in His love, and that every grace and good gift we experience comes to us in and through Jesus Christ. The warmth you have felt is meant to point you beyond the people themselves to the One who is working in them.

Your desire to go for Jesus and not only for the people is a work of God in your heart, and He wants to deepen it. The Bible says that those who belong to Jesus are set apart in Him, set apart from the world for God's own use and service. You are not just joining a friendly group, you have been called into fellowship with God's Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. That fellowship is the true foundation. People may fail or be absent at times, but fellowship with Jesus remains.

Scripture also teaches that we are to be rooted and built up in Him, and that we are complete in Christ Jesus. Your righteous standing before God does not come from being included by people, but from what Jesus has done for you through His blood and righteousness. You can rest in His finished work, knowing you are fully accepted in Him even before anyone else welcomes you.

It helps to consciously put Jesus at the center when you come to gather with believers. You might pray before you go and ask the Lord to help you come to worship Him, to hear His Word, and to remember His grace. Give thanks for the people, but fix your heart on the Lord Himself, trusting Him, leaning on His name, and seeking to please Him. As you keep your roots in Christ, the love you show and receive from others will find its proper place as an overflow of His grace rather than the reason you come.

May the Lord strengthen you to know how deeply you are loved and set apart in Christ, to find your rest in Him, and to grow in maturity as you walk rooted in Him. May He keep your heart centered on Jesus, so that whether people are especially warm on a given day or not, you can still come with joy to meet with your Lord, who is faithful and who has called you into fellowship with His Son.

Father, thank You for this heart that wants to seek Jesus above all else. Fill this dear one with a fresh awareness of being set apart in Christ and complete in Him. Help them to rest in what Jesus has done and to experience the fellowship of Your Son more deeply each time they gather. Let the kindness of Your people continue to encourage them, but let Jesus Himself be the reason and the reward. In Jesus' name, amen.