[SIZE=11pt]I realize how little I know and understand the Lord! Pray, I more and more to know and understand the Lord! I made many mistakes and I have many shortcomings! Pray the Lord to forgive me and change me in this which I hurt God's heart! Pray that this change is painless and gentle, because I feel that there is no forces to suffer! Pray my relationship with Christ to deepen and improve! Pray God's opinion of me becoming better and this to be forever! Amen! [/SIZE]
God doesn't look at your mistakes or short comings, and He is not disappointed or angry with you. His heart is for you to come to the knowledge of the truth of what Jesus has done, and who you are in HIM.
Building relationships mean spending quality time with the person of interest, which would be Jesus. So I encourage you to read the Bible, start in the New Testament, read it slow and as you read, Ask Holy Spirit to open your eyes to truth...to reveal the love of God to you so you can love others as He loves you. Ask Him that the fruit of the Spirit be made evident in your life to others. Yes, God loves you and it is His heart that is drawing you to this desire for a deeper revelation and relationship with you. Pursue Jesus.
I can suggest you to go to youtube and listen to ###. He has a love relationship with Jesus and it is so evident and he shares and teaches on identity.
You should listen to his testimony, it will bless you.
Father, thank you for your love for this person and the drawing of your Spirit upon them drawing, wooing, calling them to that deeper relationship with you. I ask you open up their understanding of what Jesus has done and the life He has died to give them. I ask you to baptize them with Your Holy Spirit, in the name of JESUS. Amen.