broken winged
Humble Prayer Warrior
I pray to give thanks for my son's return this morning. He literally returned EARLY this morning, I am truly grateful. I pray that he remain close by in light of his almost weeks vacation from home and in this time receive the positive news long awaited for... the letter/call that our house is ready. We have been awaiting for news from the Housing Authority in the town's we have applied that the home awaited for finally be offered to us so that we can step into this summer in peace without the constant stress that looks over us presently. I have prayed for an environment/space that is safe to continue to raise my children in peace. A home that finally they consider to be home due to its comforts. I pray today for this miracle as I have everyday due to this place of residence not accommodating our needs nor offering the safety expected. My children here live in fear as do I and uncomfortable not only due to the size of our current place but the toxic environment, education system, neighborhood, lack of play space, and lack of living space. The amount of documentation and requirements to continue to hold a roof over our heads is becoming suffocating, tedious, and imperative on a monthly basis. The apartments offered to be transferred to are too small and unsafe for my family I am left unable to accept the offer, for this reason my prayer continues. I had a dream MANY times now with my eyes closed and open of a house that is the for blue with a car port and big fenced in back yard that is a ranch style home. I saw my family so happy here and have been awaiting this dream home ever since. It truly was and is a wonderful dream that I firmly believe that if I have been allowed to dream this than God truly has a beautiful vision for us that I should continue to pray for because I "SAW" this for us. A ranch style home is perfect for us due to the fact we would ALL finally be on one single floor. I can DO so much more this way and the stress level of my family would be significantly low. NO more stairs is what we have been awaiting due to me not getting any younger and my mother's visits would be less strenuous for her due to the fact that she uses a walker and stairs are just too downright painful along with the imbalance of my husband's condition causes and he finds himself falling up and down the stairs many times than none. Our reasons are many and constant prayer gives me peace especially when anxiety takes a toll due to the many needs my family DOES have that I am not able to accommodate to living in our current residence. The lack of safety is the rise in gangs here with their wars and threats of safety to tenants being victimized due to violence or ricochet bullets. I did NOT sign up for this when I moved here 15 years ago nor did I think I would be stuck here this long due to circumstances beyond our control. The school system fails to challenge our children enough and fails to educate them due to their focus on everything other than curriculum and the child's special needs being met, transportation is a nightmare and not widely offered and our children end up spending their summers IN summer school because of their shortcomings. The food is awful and many amenities that exist I Long Island are NOT found here is all... in short. We reside in cramped two floor three bedroom hole in the wall that we have outgrown and due to the years lived here with MANY work orders ignored by housing the upkeep is difficult and at times financially straining. An example would be the bathroom floor awaited to cave into the living room due to its subfloor needing to be completely redone and the floor along with recaulking the bathtub surround due to the MANY years before us of water damage that can be seen from our living room ceiling. Yeah... train wreck yet we can afford nothing more than a transfer to better living unfortunately. The saying you get what you pay for is an exaggeration in this case. I continue to pray for our new house and hope as I do everyday that THIS is the day the Lord has made a way for us to finally move out of this purgatory so that we may finally have peace, security, liberty, space and a new beginning. I pray for the safety of my children in and out of school for we live in dark times as well as for my husband for we do not have to be products of our environment nor statistics; poverty should not dictate joy and serenity. In Jesus Christ name... Amen.
