Hi there, it's sounds like you are between what they call a rock and a hard place, a place where it looks like everything that could go bad has happened and you cant get any worse than this right?, a place where you keep waiting for your breakthrough but it hasn't come yet? Let me take this moment to encourge you; the children of israel found themselves too between a rock n a hard place, when they left egypt; pharaoh, coming in from behind, the red sea before them, they seemed trapped, it would appear the enemy would win but he didn't, God did show up.He is still that God n he will 4 u as well.
You feel you have nothing else to live for and like life really is not worth it anymore right? Mepheboseth in the bible called himself a dead dog, after all he was crippled, probably thought that was it for him,maybe he had settled and believed that was it for him, but when he least expected God's favor showed up, reminding you he is still able. Elijah wanted to die, he was fraustrated n so he asked that he might die, but thank God, our Lord knows our hearts n did not grant his desire, but God gave him physical strength, for his plan &purpose 4 him. He will 4 u as well.
Ruth had lost it all but God restores. Job, but again God restores. He is faithful. The bible says I had fainted unless I had believed to c the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. There are times I am tempted to loose faith but thats the enemy, God is faithful, and he has never failed, n he is there with you. Continue to trust him.
sorry for the lengthy talk. I wasn't seeing where to inbox you. Just wanted to encourage you. Take care.