Silas
Beloved of All
Your honesty about feeling overwhelmed, struggling to breathe, carrying anxiety about where you live and about relationships, and feeling distant from God and unworthy is heard with care. Feeling as though you have asked many times for deliverance and things have only gotten harder can leave the heart cast down and disquieted within.
Scripture gives language for that very place. When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. That rock is not a feeling and not a circumstance, it is the Lord himself. Many people in the Bible were brought to the end of their own strength, to the end of the road, and it was at that point of extremity that God began His deeper work. He wants to work in you first, to form faith and peace and fruit that brings Him glory, and then to work through your life for others.
Being overwhelmed often drives us to prayer, and prayer itself gently turns our focus away from the size of the problem and onto the greatness of God. You cannot truly pray without looking to Him. One psalm begins in hopelessness and ends with singing, for God is my defense and the God of my mercy. Another reminds us, truly my soul waits upon God, from Him comes my salvation, He only is my rock and my salvation, my defense. Waiting upon Him is not wasted time. It is how faith grows.
You mentioned feeling distant and unworthy. The soul that thirsts for God is like a deer panting for water, and that thirst itself is a sign that God has put a desire for Himself within you. Your worth before God does not rest on how strong your faith feels or how well you manage your health or housing. God is love, and He showed His love in this, that He sent His only Son into the world that we might live through Him. Jesus, who knew no sin, was made to be sin for us, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him. When anyone confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwells in that person. If you have trusted in Christ alone for salvation, you are not unworthy in His presence, you are clothed in His righteousness and welcomed to come near.
It is also important to remember that God has not promised to remove every hardship in this life. People around us may ask, where is your God when trouble comes, as if He must fix everything immediately. His promise is greater, that He will be with you in it, that He is your exceeding joy even when answers are slow, and that He will lead you with His light and His truth when you do not know which way to turn. You can pray simply, Lord, send out Your light and Your truth, let them lead me, teach me to do Your will, for Your Spirit is good.
When anxiety rises, it helps to speak truth to your own soul as the psalmist did, why are you cast down, O my soul, why are you disquieted within me, hope in God. Putting God back into the equation changes the perspective. Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who will tread down our enemies. That does not mean every breathing difficulty or housing question disappears at once, but it means you are not facing them alone and they are not outside His sovereign care. Your times are in His hands, and to God the Lord belong the issues of life and death. He is the God of our salvation, and He knows every detail of your body, your days, and your needs.
God is also a refining fire. He consumes what is dross and chaff, not to harm you but to purify and to make you more like Christ. When we argue with God or treat Him as if He must respond exactly as we would, we put ourselves in His place. He is not a genie to command, He is the holy and loving Lord to trust. His purposes stand, and because He is both sovereign and good, and because He loves you, you can surrender and say, Lord, do what You will in my life, I trust Your hands.
In seasons like this it helps to remember the days of old and to look around at how God has already provided in past dark places where you did not see a way through. That remembrance steadies the heart. And be careful not to look at God through a negative lens, as if He does not care. That is a trick of the enemy to pull you lower. Instead turn and say, Your way, O God, is holy, who is so great a God as our God, You are the God who does wonders. Let the righteous be glad and rejoice before God, yes, let them exceedingly rejoice, and sing praises to His name even while waiting for relief.
For your health, continue to seek wise medical care and to steward your body, and bring your breathing before the Lord each day. For your living situation and relationships, bring them into the light of His Word, asking Him to make your choices holy and pleasing to Him. He calls us to purity, to faithfulness, and to honor marriage as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, with intimacy reserved for that covenant. Whatever your relationship situation, invite Him to be Lord over it, to lead you in what honors Him and brings true peace.
A simple prayer for you might be, Lord, when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. You are my rock and my salvation, my defense and my mercy. I confess Jesus Christ as Your Son and my Savior. Forgive me, cleanse me, and make me Yours. Teach me to do Your will. Send out Your light and Your truth to lead me. I put my hope in You again today. Work in me and bring forth fruit for Your glory. I trust my times and my breath in Your hands. In Jesus name, amen.
You are not forgotten. Keep waiting upon Him, keep praying, keep looking to Him as your exceeding joy. He is near, He is merciful, and He desires to bless and to use your life for His glory.
Scripture gives language for that very place. When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. That rock is not a feeling and not a circumstance, it is the Lord himself. Many people in the Bible were brought to the end of their own strength, to the end of the road, and it was at that point of extremity that God began His deeper work. He wants to work in you first, to form faith and peace and fruit that brings Him glory, and then to work through your life for others.
Being overwhelmed often drives us to prayer, and prayer itself gently turns our focus away from the size of the problem and onto the greatness of God. You cannot truly pray without looking to Him. One psalm begins in hopelessness and ends with singing, for God is my defense and the God of my mercy. Another reminds us, truly my soul waits upon God, from Him comes my salvation, He only is my rock and my salvation, my defense. Waiting upon Him is not wasted time. It is how faith grows.
You mentioned feeling distant and unworthy. The soul that thirsts for God is like a deer panting for water, and that thirst itself is a sign that God has put a desire for Himself within you. Your worth before God does not rest on how strong your faith feels or how well you manage your health or housing. God is love, and He showed His love in this, that He sent His only Son into the world that we might live through Him. Jesus, who knew no sin, was made to be sin for us, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him. When anyone confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwells in that person. If you have trusted in Christ alone for salvation, you are not unworthy in His presence, you are clothed in His righteousness and welcomed to come near.
It is also important to remember that God has not promised to remove every hardship in this life. People around us may ask, where is your God when trouble comes, as if He must fix everything immediately. His promise is greater, that He will be with you in it, that He is your exceeding joy even when answers are slow, and that He will lead you with His light and His truth when you do not know which way to turn. You can pray simply, Lord, send out Your light and Your truth, let them lead me, teach me to do Your will, for Your Spirit is good.
When anxiety rises, it helps to speak truth to your own soul as the psalmist did, why are you cast down, O my soul, why are you disquieted within me, hope in God. Putting God back into the equation changes the perspective. Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who will tread down our enemies. That does not mean every breathing difficulty or housing question disappears at once, but it means you are not facing them alone and they are not outside His sovereign care. Your times are in His hands, and to God the Lord belong the issues of life and death. He is the God of our salvation, and He knows every detail of your body, your days, and your needs.
God is also a refining fire. He consumes what is dross and chaff, not to harm you but to purify and to make you more like Christ. When we argue with God or treat Him as if He must respond exactly as we would, we put ourselves in His place. He is not a genie to command, He is the holy and loving Lord to trust. His purposes stand, and because He is both sovereign and good, and because He loves you, you can surrender and say, Lord, do what You will in my life, I trust Your hands.
In seasons like this it helps to remember the days of old and to look around at how God has already provided in past dark places where you did not see a way through. That remembrance steadies the heart. And be careful not to look at God through a negative lens, as if He does not care. That is a trick of the enemy to pull you lower. Instead turn and say, Your way, O God, is holy, who is so great a God as our God, You are the God who does wonders. Let the righteous be glad and rejoice before God, yes, let them exceedingly rejoice, and sing praises to His name even while waiting for relief.
For your health, continue to seek wise medical care and to steward your body, and bring your breathing before the Lord each day. For your living situation and relationships, bring them into the light of His Word, asking Him to make your choices holy and pleasing to Him. He calls us to purity, to faithfulness, and to honor marriage as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, with intimacy reserved for that covenant. Whatever your relationship situation, invite Him to be Lord over it, to lead you in what honors Him and brings true peace.
A simple prayer for you might be, Lord, when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. You are my rock and my salvation, my defense and my mercy. I confess Jesus Christ as Your Son and my Savior. Forgive me, cleanse me, and make me Yours. Teach me to do Your will. Send out Your light and Your truth to lead me. I put my hope in You again today. Work in me and bring forth fruit for Your glory. I trust my times and my breath in Your hands. In Jesus name, amen.
You are not forgotten. Keep waiting upon Him, keep praying, keep looking to Him as your exceeding joy. He is near, He is merciful, and He desires to bless and to use your life for His glory.
