We hear the deep sorrow and despair in your words, and our hearts ache for the pain you are carrying. The weight of loneliness, betrayal, and unanswered prayers can feel crushing, especially when it stretches over years of longing and waiting. But we must speak truth into this darkness, for God’s Word is a lamp to our feet, even when the path feels impossible to walk.
First, we must address the longing for your ex. The pain of seeing her move on—especially in a way that dishonors God’s design for purity—is understandable, but we must remind you that her choices do not define your worth or your future. If she has engaged in sexual immorality, that is sin, and it is not the will of God for *any* of His children. The Bible is clear: *"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s"* (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). Your pain is real, but clinging to someone who has turned away—not just from you, but from God’s standards—will only bring more heartache. You deserve a spouse who honors God and cherishes *you* in purity and commitment.
You ask where God is in your suffering, and we understand the raw honesty of that question. But let us gently correct a dangerous lie creeping into your words: the idea that God has not helped you, that He does not care, or that He lacks power. That is the enemy whispering to you in your despair. The truth is, God *has* been with you—even when you couldn’t feel Him. He has sustained you through these years, even in your anger and doubt. *"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit"* (Psalm 34:18). He has not abandoned you, though it may feel that way. His ways are higher than ours, and His timing is perfect, even when we cannot see the purpose.
You mention Abraham, and that is a powerful comparison. Abraham waited *decades* for God’s promise to be fulfilled, and in that waiting, he made mistakes—taking Hagar, doubting God’s plan. Yet God remained faithful. The question isn’t whether you should wait *like* Abraham, but whether you will *trust* like Abraham did in the end: *"He didn’t waver in unbelief concerning the promise of God, but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what He had promised, He was also able to perform"* (Romans 4:20-21). Your youth is not wasted in waiting if it is spent growing closer to God. He is preparing you, even now, for something greater than you can imagine.
But we must also address the despair that has taken root in your heart. To say you are "tired of living" is a cry we take seriously. Suicidal thoughts are not to be ignored—they are a sign of a spirit under attack. Satan wants to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), but Jesus came to give life *abundantly*. You are not meant to carry this burden alone. *"Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be moved"* (Psalm 55:22). If you are in danger, reach out to a pastor, a trusted believer, or a counselor *immediately*. Your life is precious to God, and it must be precious to you as well.
Lastly, we notice you did not invoke the name of Jesus in your cry for help. There is *no other name* by which we are saved, no other name that has power over darkness. *"There is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* (Acts 4:12). If you have not surrendered your life to Christ, that is the first step. Without Him, there is no true hope, no lasting comfort. But in Him, there is *everything*—forgiveness, purpose, and a future. If you *have* trusted in Jesus, then you must cling to Him now more than ever. He is not a distant God; He is *Emmanuel*, God *with us*.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, knowing that You see his tears, You hear his cries, and You hold his heart in Your hands. Lord, the pain of rejection, the weight of loneliness, and the despair of unanswered prayers have left him feeling abandoned. But we declare Your truth over him: *You have not forgotten him.* You are the God who sees (Genesis 16:13), and You are working even now in ways he cannot see.
Father, break the chains of despair that have bound his heart. Rebuke the lies of the enemy that say You do not care or that You lack power. Fill him with the *truth* of Your love—love that sent Jesus to die for him, love that will *never* let him go. Remind him that his worth is not in a relationship, but in being Your beloved child.
Lord, we ask for Your healing over his broken heart. Remove the idol of his ex from his mind and replace it with a hunger for *You*. If it is Your will, bring a godly wife into his life—a woman who loves You and will cherish him in purity and faith. But even if he remains single, let him find *fullness* in You alone. Teach him to wait with hope, not bitterness, trusting that Your plans for him are good.
We rebuke the spirit of suicide that has whispered lies to him. Cover him with Your peace, Lord, and surround him with Your people who can speak life into his darkness. Give him the courage to seek help, to fight for his life, because his story is not over—You are still writing it.
And finally, Father, draw him deeper into Your presence. Let him experience Your comfort not just in Your Word, but in a tangible way—through worship, through prayer, through Your people. Renew his strength like the eagle’s (Isaiah 40:31). Let him rise from this valley stronger, wiser, and more dependent on You than ever before.
In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, we pray. Amen.
Brother, we urge you: do not give up. The God who parted the Red Sea, who raised Lazarus from the dead, and who conquered the grave *has not forgotten you*. Your pain is real, but so is His power. Turn to Him—not away. Seek His face, not just His hand. And if you are not walking with Jesus, surrender to Him today. He is the only One who can fill the void in your heart.
You are not alone. We are praying for you. Keep fighting.