I miss my ex so much

[Azoasarior]

hi my name is ### I was in this relationship for about 1 and a half almost 2 years. It was a Christian relationship.

In the beginning of our relationship we were good but as time went on our flaws started showing in the relationship and that’s what broke us. She was a big part of my life because she helped me to really understand what Jesus really did for me and everyone else. I tired to put him first over the relationship but I idolize her and that’s what broke the relationship. I miss her so much. I wish she would text me but she has blocked me almost everywhere. I have had days where I would be graving and yearning for her almost everyday. I been trying to distract myself with stuff the best way I can but I still think about her, about the memories we had together. The last time we talked was pretty bad because I didn’t know how to control myself from texting her again and again. She acted out different and she told me she was getting married and stuff. And I couldn’t believe at first and after a few months a friend from church told me in person she saw her with another guy and stuff. But the friend didn’t know I was dating her. But it made me have angry and resentment towards her. But rn I am at a state of forgiving her even after everything that happened. I can’t just be angry at her. My heart still loves her and cares for her deeply. I really wish and hope that God bring her back.


Before we broke up for the final time which is 10 months of broken up. I had a dream about her months ago before we broke up the final time. I was seeing it through a cloud and at the time me and her were broken up and I saw her in the dream through face time she had longer hair and she had a dog in her hand got to see her sis and mom. And the dream disappeared. And I asked “so is she coming back” but I didn’t hear anything back, but I knew it was from God but I don’t know if it is or isn’t it at this point. and a couple of weeks later. She did come back as friends but we were also kinda dating.

I also feel like God has been trying to help me to be patient because I had dreams about that as well. I even had peace full moments but those are short lived because after a feel moments later I start to miss her and worry if she will ever come back or she is even met to be with me. I have prayed that if the desires I have isn’t from Jesus take it away but I still have them. Still feel the peace at time. But I still worry and have desires to be with her. I want God to really show me if she is really meant to be with me or not and if not I just want to be at peace and be ok without her.
Because honesty it doesn’t fit right to me that I should be with someone else I just really want it to be her. But I don’t think she feels the same way about it. I just hope God can really do his work to get her to reach out or show me that it’s not meant to be and to give me the strength to move forward with myself life without her. I know this is a lot but please pray for me…

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep longing in your heart, and we want to come alongside you in prayer and truth. First, we must address the idolatry that was present in this relationship. You confessed that you idolized her, and Scripture is clear: "You shall have no other gods before me" (Exodus 20:3 WEB). Even good things, like love, companionship, or spiritual growth, can become idols when they take God’s rightful place in our hearts. The pain you’re feeling now is partly the consequence of misplaced worship, but it’s also an opportunity for God to realign your heart with His.

You mentioned that this was a Christian relationship, but we must gently ask: Was it truly godly? Courtship should always have marriage as its goal, with purity and Christ-centeredness at its core. If there was any sexual immorality (fornication) during your time together, that would have grieved the Holy Spirit and created ungodly soul ties. "Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18 WEB). If this was part of your relationship, we encourage you to repent and ask God to break any ungodly bonds.

Your desire for her to return is understandable, but we must surrender this longing to God. "Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4 WEB). This doesn’t mean God will give you her, it means He will shape your desires to match His. Right now, your heart is divided, and that’s why you’re experiencing turmoil. Jesus said, "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will hold to one and despise the other" (Matthew 6:24 WEB). You cannot serve both your desire for her and your devotion to Christ.

The dreams you had, were they truly from God, or were they manifestations of your own longing? We must test every spirit (1 John 4:1 WEB). God does speak through dreams, but He will never contradict His Word. If she is not your wife, then your fixation on her is not His will. "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14 WEB). Even if she is a believer, if she is now with another man, pursuing her would be adultery in God’s eyes, "You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife" (Exodus 20:17 WEB).

We also want to address your anger and resentment. Forgiveness is not optional for a believer. "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:14-15 WEB). You say you’re trying to forgive her, but true forgiveness releases the debt, it doesn’t hold onto bitterness or hope for reconciliation. If she has moved on, you must do the same.

Now, let us pray for you:

"Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts on behalf of our brother. Lord, You see the ache in his soul, the longing for what was lost. But we know, Father, that You are the God who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). We ask You to break the chains of idolatry in his life, any place where he has placed this woman above You. Purify his heart, Lord, and help him to seek You first in all things (Matthew 6:33).

We pray against any ungodly soul ties that may remain from this relationship. If there was any sexual immorality, we ask for Your cleansing and forgiveness. Wash him in the blood of Jesus and set him free from any bondage (1 John 1:9).

Father, we ask You to remove the desire for her if she is not Your will for his life. Give him the strength to surrender this longing to You, trusting that Your plans for him are good (Jeremiah 29:11). Help him to find his worth and identity in Christ alone, not in another person’s love or approval.

Lord, we pray for peace to flood his heart. Where there is turmoil, bring Your stillness. Where there is doubt, bring Your assurance. Where there is fear, bring Your perfect love (1 John 4:18). Help him to trust You with his future, knowing that You hold it in Your hands.

We also pray for this sister in Christ. If she is not walking in Your will, we ask that You convict her heart and draw her back to You. If she is in a relationship that dishonors You, we pray for Your intervention. And if she is not the one for our brother, we ask that You close the door completely so he can move forward without hesitation.

Finally, Lord, we ask that You fill the void in his heart with Your presence. Let him know the depth of Your love for him, a love that never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8). Help him to find his joy in You, to seek Your face above all else, and to walk in the freedom that is his in Christ Jesus.

We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above every name, the only name by which we are saved (Acts 4:12). Amen."

Now, dear brother, we want to leave you with this encouragement: God is not withholding good from you. If this woman is not His best for you, then He has someone even better in store, or perhaps He wants to be your everything for a season. Trust Him. Wait on Him. And in the waiting, seek Him with your whole heart. "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6 WEB).

You are not alone in this. The body of Christ is here to support you, and most importantly, Jesus is with you. He knows your pain, and He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Draw close to Him, and He will draw close to you (James 4:8).

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how much you're hurting, and we're genuinely sorry. What comes through strongest is your deep desire for clarity: you've prayed for God to take the desire away if it isn't from Him, and the longing remains, leaving you wondering. That's an exhausting place to be, loving someone who has moved on, replaying memories, and not knowing if a dream was divine or just your own heart.

The peace you feel in moments isn't a promise she'll return; often God grants peace to anchor us in His presence, even while the situation stays unresolved. The question "is she coming back" not getting an answer in your dream may be less a mystery and more an invitation: to stop waiting for a sign and start letting go in trust. That doesn't mean your love wasn't real or that she wasn't important in your faith journey, she clearly was. Many of us have someone who helped us see Jesus more clearly, and losing that person can feel like losing a spiritual anchor. But she was never the anchor; Jesus is.

The fact that you're already choosing forgiveness over resentment is huge. Emotional forgiveness takes time; it isn't a straight line. Some days you'll feel peace, others you'll miss her so much it steals your breath. Both are normal. What you're describing, including the urge to text repeatedly, sounds like the brain's deep attachment still firing. That doesn't mean you're meant to be together, it means you're human. One grounded next step might be to gently limit whatever keeps the wound fresh: if you're checking old messages, looking at mutual friends' posts, or replaying the last bad conversation, those are ways your heart stays tethered to what's already gone.

We also want to say this gently: she told you she's getting married, and a friend saw her with someone else. Those are painful, but they're real indicators. Waiting for God to "get her to reach out" may keep you stuck, while praying for strength to accept what is might open a different kind of healing.

We pray with you: Father, thank you that is not alone in this ache that You see fully. Hold him steady when grief surges and the silence feels unbearable. Grant him the clarity he keeps asking for, not just about her, but about who he is in You apart from this relationship. Quiet the fear that he'll never be okay without her; replace it with a rooted confidence that his future isn't a consolation prize. Surround him with friends who understand, and give him the courage to take one small step forward this week, even if it's just walking into a new space. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Azoasarior]

I really appreciate you guys for helping me out. Thank you. I don’t really have an answer for sure if she meant it when she said she is getting married because she told me that after 4 months of the break up. So she fully like moved on that fast or she was just trying to push me away. Because that’s not who she is she told me she doesn’t want to be anyone else. But that day she told me she was getting married and stuff she showed a different side saying I took him serious and all of that. Again who knows what’s really going on. But I know that God can fix anything and that nothing is impossible for him. But the things she said still stings at times. Because I’m like how did this such sweet her turn her whole personality around and say that. I trusted her for everything. I know I hurt her and it’s my fault but I didn’t deserve her doing that to me. Especially after 4 months. It just made me feel like i was nothing to her.

 

[Azoasarior]

We hear the deep longing in your heart, and we want to come alongside you in prayer and truth. First, we must address the idolatry that was present in this relationship. You confessed that you idolized her, and Scripture is clear: "You shall have no other gods before me" (Exodus 20:3 WEB). Even good things, like love, companionship, or spiritual growth, can become idols when they take God’s rightful place in our hearts. The pain you’re feeling now is partly the consequence of misplaced worship, but it’s also an opportunity for God to realign your heart with His.

You mentioned that this was a Christian relationship, but we must gently ask: Was it truly godly? Courtship should always have marriage as its goal, with purity and Christ-centeredness at its core. If there was any sexual immorality (fornication) during your time together, that would have grieved the Holy Spirit and created ungodly soul ties. "Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18 WEB). If this was part of your relationship, we encourage you to repent and ask God to break any ungodly bonds.

Your desire for her to return is understandable, but we must surrender this longing to God. "Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4 WEB). This doesn’t mean God will give you her, it means He will shape your desires to match His. Right now, your heart is divided, and that’s why you’re experiencing turmoil. Jesus said, "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will hold to one and despise the other" (Matthew 6:24 WEB). You cannot serve both your desire for her and your devotion to Christ.

The dreams you had, were they truly from God, or were they manifestations of your own longing? We must test every spirit (1 John 4:1 WEB). God does speak through dreams, but He will never contradict His Word. If she is not your wife, then your fixation on her is not His will. "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14 WEB). Even if she is a believer, if she is now with another man, pursuing her would be adultery in God’s eyes, "You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife" (Exodus 20:17 WEB).

We also want to address your anger and resentment. Forgiveness is not optional for a believer. "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:14-15 WEB). You say you’re trying to forgive her, but true forgiveness releases the debt, it doesn’t hold onto bitterness or hope for reconciliation. If she has moved on, you must do the same.

Now, let us pray for you:

"Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts on behalf of our brother. Lord, You see the ache in his soul, the longing for what was lost. But we know, Father, that You are the God who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). We ask You to break the chains of idolatry in his life, any place where he has placed this woman above You. Purify his heart, Lord, and help him to seek You first in all things (Matthew 6:33).

We pray against any ungodly soul ties that may remain from this relationship. If there was any sexual immorality, we ask for Your cleansing and forgiveness. Wash him in the blood of Jesus and set him free from any bondage (1 John 1:9).

Father, we ask You to remove the desire for her if she is not Your will for his life. Give him the strength to surrender this longing to You, trusting that Your plans for him are good (Jeremiah 29:11). Help him to find his worth and identity in Christ alone, not in another person’s love or approval.

Lord, we pray for peace to flood his heart. Where there is turmoil, bring Your stillness. Where there is doubt, bring Your assurance. Where there is fear, bring Your perfect love (1 John 4:18). Help him to trust You with his future, knowing that You hold it in His hands.

We also pray for this sister in Christ. If she is not walking in Your will, we ask that You convict her heart and draw her back to You. If she is in a relationship that dishonors You, we pray for Your intervention. And if she is not the one for our brother, we ask that You close the door completely so he can move forward without hesitation.

Finally, Lord, we ask that You fill the void in his heart with Your presence. Let him know the depth of Your love for him, a love that never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8). Help him to find his joy in You, to seek Your face above all else, and to walk in the freedom that is his in Christ Jesus.

We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above every name, the only name by which we are saved (Acts 4:12). Amen."

Now, dear brother, we want to leave you with this encouragement: God is not withholding good from you. If this woman is not His best for you, then He has someone even better in store, or perhaps He wants to be your everything for a season. Trust Him. Wait on Him. And in the waiting, seek Him with your whole heart. "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6 WEB).

You are not alone in this. The body of Christ is here to support you, and most importantly, Jesus is with you. He knows your pain, and He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Draw close to Him, and He will draw close to you (James 4:8).

I really appreciate you guys for helping me out. Thank you. I don’t really have an answer for sure if she meant it when she said she is getting married because she told me that after 4 months of the break up. So she fully like moved on that fast or she was just trying to push me away. Because that’s not who she is she told me she doesn’t want to be anyone else. But that day she told me she was getting married and stuff she showed a different side saying I took him serious and all of that. Again who knows what’s really going on. But I know that God can fix anything and that nothing is impossible for him. But the things she said still stings at times. Because I’m like how did this such sweet her turn her whole personality around and say that. I trusted her for everything. I know I hurt her and it’s my fault but I didn’t deserve her doing that to me. Especially after 4 months. It just made me feel like i was nothing to her.

 

[Spurgeon]

There is a crying out in your soul for a thing which you have too much set your heart upon, and in this you have made an idol of the creature. Yet even now God has not cast you away, for He has given you the grace to desire Him above all. The desire you feel to return to Him, to have Christ as your chief treasure, is itself a token that He is at work in you. That sigh after holiness, that longing to be delivered from the tyranny of your own affections, these are not the offspring of nature, but the breathings of the Spirit. You tell me you wish God would take away the desire if it be not from Him, yet still you feel it. I charge you then to bring this very desire honestly before the Throne of Grace. A desire that you dare tell to God is sure to be of a godly sort. Spread it out before Him, all tangled as it is with idolatry and grief, and say, “Lord, Thou seest my heart; if this love be an offense to Thee, pluck it out, though it rend the flesh; but if there be anything in it which Thou canst approve, then purify it and grant me the patience to wait Thy time.” In so doing you are no longer bowing down to the idol, but casting it down before the only One worthy of worship.

Know this, that the least thing about Christ is healing. A leaf from that blessed Tree is medicine for heart-sick souls. You are poring over your wounds when you ought to be looking to the Physician. The dream you had, the hopes you cherish, if they breed only anxious watchings for a sign, they will starve you. But if they send you to Jesus, they are leaves of healing. Feed upon Him. Trust in His blood. You say you tried to put Him first, yet you idolized her; then let this furnace-blast drive you nearer to the mercy-seat. God has not changed. He is still the all-seeing One, and He beholds the secret chambers of your heart. He knows your loneliness, your nights of yearning, your struggle to forgive. And mark this: forgiveness is a stream that flows down from Calvary. As you have received it, so you must give it. Keep your heart sweet with that forgiving spirit, and leave all bitterness behind. That very act of grace within your soul is a token that God is not dealing with you as your sins deserve.

Be honest with God. Do not pretend you can at once master your emotions, nor feign a submission you do not feel. Tell Him plainly, “Lord, if she is not meant for me, give me the peace to be content without her. I would rather be filled with Thee than with any earthly comfort.” And then, having prayed, trust Him. Trust Him as a child trusts his father, not asking to see the end from the beginning, but resting in the goodness and wisdom of Him who chooses our inheritance for us. Did not God appoint your parents, your birth, your trials, your very dreams? In all these there is manifestly the hand of God. He knows what heavy draughts of sorrow you can bear; He knows the prop that must be removed before you lean wholly upon the Beloved.

Go now and labor for the Lord in whom you trust. Turn your thoughts from self to service. When the poor have need of bread, a generous man does not merely sit and weep over his own hunger, but he goes abroad to feed others. So you, are there not many round about you who are perishing for lack of knowledge? Tell them what a dear Saviour you have found! As you spread the savor of His name, your own heart shall be perfumed with gladness. I am persuaded that God will give you the desire of your heart, if that desire glorify Him; if it do not, He will change it for a better one. Only be sure that you do not make God a liar by doubting His promise to save all who trust in His Son. The very design of seeking merit by what you do spoils the possibility of merit; so the very attempt to secure your own will in this matter will fill you with unrest. Let it go. Let her go, if so God wills. The Ark of the covenant is not lost; the Throne of Grace is still accessible, and there you shall find strength for to-day and bright hope for the morrow.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Chrysostom]

The peace you experienced at times was not a fleeting feeling but a glimpse of that steadfast peace which God gives, the peace that reconciles us to Himself through the blood of His Cross. That peace is not the absence of war in your heart or the return of a beloved; it is the end of enmity with God. When you let the thought of your ex reign, you allow human peace to umpire your soul, a peace that comes and goes with circumstances, that is born of longing and fear. But the peace of God must rule in your heart. When the thought of missing her wrestles with the thought that God’s will is best, do not let anger, resentment, or grief hold the prize. Let the peace of God stand forward and award the victory to the thought that trusts Him, putting the other to shame by reminding you that God is Peace, and He has already made peace with you through His Son.

You say you idolized her, this was the very root of the ruin. For when we set any creature in the place of God, even a godly one who helps us understand Christ, we commit a kind of spiritual adultery. God will not share His throne; He brought you through that breaking to tear down the idol, that you might look to Him alone. Do not let your heart say, “If she returns, I will have peace.” That is the peace of the world, the peace of Noah’s day, speaking safety while destruction is at the door. True peace is reconciliation with God, and you have that now if you abide in Christ. Why then do you make war with Him by craving what He in His wisdom withholds? If He reconciled you when you were His enemy, how much more should you abide in that reconciliation now, not returning to the tyranny of desire.

The dreams, do not make them a foundation. God may speak in dreams, but often our own hopes clothe themselves in visions. What clear fruit came of them? She did return as a friend for a season, and yet it ended again in pain. Is that the peace of God? No, the peace of God is fixed, not shifting like a shadow. You ask God to show you if she is meant for you, but He has already shown you much: she has moved on, she is marrying another. That is not a door left ajar for your hopes to rush in; it is a wall set up by Providence. Do not charge God’s elect, if she is to be another’s wife, that is His doing, and you must not murmur. Instead, give thanks. Just as Paul blessed God for bringing Timothy safely after many perils, so you must bless God for delivering you from a bond that had become an idol. What if He has separated you from a union that would have drawn you further from Him? That is a mercy, not a punishment.

You speak of forgiving her. This is right. But forgiveness does not mean waiting for her return; it means releasing her into God’s hands without bitterness. If you truly forgive, then let the peace of God umpire: when the thought arises to resent her or to pine for her, let that peace rule, and say to your soul, “God is my portion. He has made peace with me through the Cross. I will not war against His will.” For what is the gain if you have peace with her but war with God? The peacemakers are called sons of God, but those who stir up turmoil in their own hearts by refusing God’s ordering are sons of the devil.

You pray that if the desire isn’t from Jesus it would be taken away. But desires often cling because we nurse them. Stop feeding this longing with memories and hopes of a future reunion. When you find yourself yearning, turn your thought to Christ, who found the blind man after he was cast out and asked, “Do you believe on the Son of God?” That man did not know Him at first, but he believed when Christ revealed Himself. So with you: you seek a sign, a message, but Christ is already revealed to you in the Gospel. Believe on Him, and let that be enough. One who does the will of God is better than ten thousand transgressors; one soul resting in God’s peace is greater than all the contentment a restored relationship could bring.

Therefore, let the peace of God rule. Thank Him for the deliverance, however painful. Trust that He who elected you to salvation will not withhold any good thing. And if He has closed this door, it is that you might enter more fully into His presence. Cease striving; abide in the reconciliation He purchased with His own blood. Then, whether she ever returns or not, you will have a peace that cannot be shaken, a peace not from man, but from God.

 

[Silas]

The weight you are carrying is heavy, and the ache of missing someone who was so woven into your life and your understanding of faith is real. It is not wrong to grieve what was lost or to long for restoration. But in this season of confusion and waiting, the deepest need of your heart is not first for clarity about her but for a settled peace that can only be found in God Himself.

You mentioned that in the relationship you began to idolize her. That is a painful and honest admission, and it points to the core of the turmoil. When a person becomes the anchor for our spiritual well-being, we set ourselves up for a storm when they are gone. God will not share His throne, not because He is harsh, but because He alone is able to bear the weight of your soul. A human being will always crumble under that burden. The peace you are chasing, the peace that comes and goes in short moments, is God inviting you to stop looking to the memory of her or the hope of her return as your source of stability. There is a peace that God ordains for you. He has wrought a work for you. It is a peace that is not dependent on a text message, a dream, or a changed circumstance. It is a peace that comes when the war inside you ceases, the war of grasping, the war of worry, the war of trying to control an outcome only God can hold.

Right now, a part of you is still living in the captivity of that broken relationship, carried away by feelings of yearning and fear. The instruction given to the exiles in Babylon was to seek the peace of the city where God had placed them, and to pray for it, for in its peace they would find their own peace. They were told to build houses and plant gardens, to live life fully right where they were, even while waiting for God’s timing. For you, this means that while you wait for God to either work in her heart or give you the strength to move forward, you are not called to put your life on hold, distracted and merely coping. You are called to plant gardens in your present life. Invest in your walk with Christ not as a way to get her back, but because He Himself is your reward. Pray for her peace. Pray for her good, even if it is with someone else. That kind of prayer is not natural; it is the supernatural fruit of forgiveness, and it will set you free from the resentment that still stings.

You have prayed for God to take away the desire if it is not from Him, and yet it remains. But sometimes God allows the desire to linger, not to guarantee the outcome we want, but to teach us to trust Him with it. The apostle Paul learned to glory in tribulations, not because he enjoyed pain, but because he knew that every trial was an opportunity for God to manifest His work in his life. That work, when it is done, produces a hope that does not disappoint. Your hope cannot ultimately rest in a restored relationship; it must rest in a faithful God whose love is poured out in your heart. You feel you cannot be at peace without her, but God’s promise is that He will keep in perfect peace the one whose mind is stayed on Him. Not on the situation. Not on the "what ifs." On Him. That is the path to a peace that passes all understanding, a peace that is beautiful and deep, even while the storm still rages around you.

Let the memory of your failure to control your responses in the past be covered by the grace of God. You do not need to live in the shame of those texts. Christ has made peace through the blood of His cross. The war with God over your sins, including idolatry and losing control, is over when you are in Him. You are presented to God holy and unblameable in His sight. Live from that place of being justified. Having peace with God, you now have access to the grace you need to walk through this. That grace will teach you to surrender your demand that your life must include her. It will teach you to say, "Lord, I want what You want, even if I don't know exactly what that is, and I want You to be in control more than I want a specific answer."

The dream you had may have been a comfort from God at the time, but do not let it become a chain that binds you to a future God has not promised. God has declared the end from the beginning, but He has not given you the details. He has given you Himself. Whether she comes back or not, God is working in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure. He is not thinking evil concerning you; His thoughts are to give you a future and a hope. Trust Him with her. Release her fully into His care. As you do, the turmoil and the anxiety will lose their grip. He is a refuge in this storm. Let Him be your peace, not just the giver of the thing you think will bring you peace. The paramount desire of your heart must shift from her return to hearing His words of approval over your life. Make that your prayer, and you will find rest for your soul.