amontgomery1978
Servant of All
I just tallied all the creditors calling me and scared myself. God, help me remember you are bigger than the big scary things in my life and that you are working and on my side. Move me to being closer to you and where you want me to be. Put me in the center of your will so I don't miss the blessing of you meeting all of my needs. Please keep food on the table day by day as you did with your Israelite children with the birds and manna. I am scared of facing another week like the last two weeks where I had no food for days. I see you moving to fix this - I see positive change coming. I see you working to make all things new. Please don't stop and don't let me get in the way. Please let your perfect will be done and don't let me screw it up. Help me when I don't understand - as I don't so many days. Take the panic and fear out of my heart and please meet all my needs. Please pay all the outstanding bills and make a way to pay all the debts. I want so little in life. I just want a small clean home and the creditor calls to stop and just enough food and the lights still on and good work to do that makes me happy and to follow you all my days. That's it. I don't have huge dreams. I just want to be safe, clean, warm, and not in the dark. But Thy will be done. If you want me cold, hungry, dirty, and homeless, I'll do it. Anything you want. Because I know that you have a plan for my life and if I'm in that state there's a bigger reason for it, that you are working for my benefit, even if I end up in the gutter. And if I am in the gutter, you will even be there. I am scared. Please take my fear and show me a place of peace and safety. Please. I can't stand the terror that these people calling me inspires any longer. I know you are with me. Whatever it is - let thy perfect will be done. I choose to follow, no matter how dark the path. It's just darker here than I expected. I love you and thank you for your love that never changes. Help me to bless others even in this most horrible of places. Because that is what you would do. Amen.
