Ean
Disciple of Prayer
I have been through a lot in the last three years. To make my long story short, my ex was with multiple men while with me and when we separated. I loved her enough to let her go. My problem has been that I need a consistent job to support our young boys. They have been hurt by one of the men she saw and law enforcement did nothing since it happened on a reservation. I have been roller-coastering. All I valued and believe has been put to question. I really had to look at myself and ask, am I the architect of my own failures? I played pro football and was injured out. I work day labor and nothing has been consistent. I apply all over and have been denied. I lived in a car and was run off the road and almost died. Now after being separated and working to be a father my sons need, a teacher, someone who shows love and discipline to have our sons and be close with God. It has been hard because I feel everything I held close is gone or distorted. My new relationship with ### it's been a few months has been strained as well. I don't know why she told me she didn't feel attracted to me anymore. I asked if it was due to my ex as she said no, then partly it is. So I know a lot of the people here in town hate me. They say it's my fault. I am the liar, the controller, the man-whore, and so on. I pray for everyone because it's too see all this suffering. I loved my ex ### but I can't control so I let it be. I wanted marriage, a family to provide, protect, and build with God. I do love my new lady; she is distant with God right now. I want us to have a relationship with him to strengthen our own. I don't know God's plan. I will listen and be humble. I have been reading the word and attending church. I need fixing; I admit that. I work to get a football team and help those all I love and care for, even my enemies. I know I'm not perfect, so I will ask of all my brothers and sisters, please pray. To help me best you can, I struggle to live and provide every day, but I know God is with me. I understand someone is worse off than me, so I pray for them as well. Thank you!

