Anonymous
Beloved of All
I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of being ignored. I am tired of hearing it could be worse. I'm tired of people being empty and acting like they care when they really don't give a shit. I was in church the other day on the verge of tears because I was upset, and these two women came by me, and asked me if I was okay,and the best I could do was shrugg my shoulders, because I honestly was not okay. And they asked if I was sick, and I said no, then the walked off and one sacasticly said, well I hope you feel better. I lost it after that. I just started crying, and I walked out of the church and waited for my parents to come to the car. Why couldn't someone just talk to me? No one gives a dame about me. I could have hung myself in front of the entire church and I bet they would not have given a shit. Fuck this church! I church people. Supposed to be Christians and dont give a fuck if someone's dying right in front of there face. Yet I know people who sent even Christians give you the short right off the their back if you needed it. I hate that church. I'm never going back there again. They have proven to me that Christianity is just another religion. I'm embarrassed to even associate myself with Christians. They preach love, but they don't show it. They ignored me when I was hurting and they don't give a rip. Is my life that worthless,that the so called body of Christ does not care about one of its members dying. I guess I'm just chaff and deserve to be cast into Hell. If thats my fait why bother going to church ever again. Im sure some you snot noses are reading this and going "onh no he's cursing,and using bad words." Go ahead an judge. You're obviously better than me and just like the others don't care about my life so if it offends you go be self-ritchous somewhere else! I'm tired of people telling me I'm going Hell, and that I'm not a Christian. If you really gave a shit you would love me instead of pointing out all my flaws. Yeah I curse, I have depression, I drink every now and then, I'm human. It does not mean I don't want a relationship with Jesus, or that I'm destined for Hell. It just means I have my struggles. I'm sick and I go to church which is supposed to be a hospital for sick people like me, and I get a bunch of self-ritchous jerks stating down there nose at me thinking they are too good to associate with me. Well guess what. If Jesus had felt that way about us, not a single person on this planet would have been, "good enough." Whatever, it's a waist of my time talking about this. I'm just sick of life, and peoples crap, and being seen as a worthless peace of trash. Im sick of people judging me before they get to know me. Im sick of being single, because church girls are too good for me. I say Fuck the church. I know, I'm going to Hell, don't rub it in. I'm never gonna find a wife either, I'm not good enough for that. Don't hate me, I hate myself enough already. I hate my life. I hate where I'm at. I hate everything.
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