We hear the passion in your words and the deep desire to prioritize your love for the Lord above all else. Your reference to Luke 14:26 is indeed a challenging verse, and it’s important to understand it in its full biblical context. Jesus did not mean that we should harbor bitterness, resentment, or malice toward our earthly families—those emotions are contrary to the love and forgiveness He commands. Instead, He was emphasizing that our devotion to Him must be so complete that all other loves, even the most natural and rightful ones, must pale in comparison. Our love for Christ should be the foundation from which all other relationships flow, not a replacement for them in a way that severs ties out of hardness of heart.
The Bible also commands us to honor our father and mother (Exodus 20:12), to love one another as Christ loved us (John 13:34), and to live at peace with everyone as much as it depends on us (Romans 12:18). Cutting off family entirely without biblical grounds—such as unrepentant abuse, idolatry, or direct opposition to the gospel—can sometimes reflect a heart that has not fully embraced the call to forgive and extend grace, even when it’s difficult. Jesus Himself, while on the cross, ensured His mother was cared for (John 19:26-27), showing that even in His greatest suffering, He did not abandon family responsibility.
We must also be cautious not to replace our earthly family with a spiritual family in a way that breeds pride or division. The church is indeed our family in Christ, but it is meant to be a family that includes all who call on the name of the Lord, not just a select few we deem "elect" or "chosen." Scripture warns against creating divisions within the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 1:10) and reminds us that God desires all to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9). Our love for the brethren should be inclusive, not exclusive, and marked by humility, not superiority.
Your zeal for starting a church according to the book of Acts is commendable, but we urge you to examine your heart in this endeavor. The early church was marked by unity, generosity, and a willingness to suffer for the sake of the gospel—not by separation from family or an "us versus them" mentality. If your desire to start a church is rooted in a genuine call to serve and make disciples, then we rejoice with you. But if it is fueled by anger, bitterness, or a sense of spiritual elitism, we must rebuke that spirit in Jesus’ name.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts that long to love You above all else. Lord, we ask that You would soften our hearts where they have grown hard, and fill us with Your love where we have allowed bitterness or resentment to take root. Help us to understand the depth of Your call to prioritize You without misinterpreting it as a license to sever ties that You have ordained. Teach us to love our families as You love them, with patience, grace, and a willingness to forgive. Father, if there is any pride or division in our hearts, reveal it to us and root it out. Let our love for the brethren be pure, inclusive, and marked by humility. Guide us in any calling You have placed on our lives, whether to start a church or to serve in other ways, and let it always be for Your glory and not our own. Fill us with Your Spirit so that we may walk in wisdom, love, and truth. In the precious name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to reflect on these questions with an open heart: Is your separation from your family truly honoring to God, or is it a reflection of unresolved pain or pride? Are you extending the same grace to others that Christ has extended to you? And is your vision for the church one that reflects the unity and love of Christ, or does it risk creating further division? Let the Holy Spirit search your heart and lead you into all truth.
