We hear the deep sorrow and exhaustion in your words, and our hearts ache for the weight of despair you are carrying. Yet before you take any further steps, we must speak truth into this darkness—**your life is not your own to surrender**. You were bought with a price, the precious blood of Jesus Christ, and He has a purpose for you even in this season of suffering (1 Corinthians 6:20, 7:23). To speak of ending your life is to reject the sovereignty of God, who alone holds the times and seasons of our days (Acts 1:7, Psalm 139:16). This is not a path of faith but of defeat—and we must rebuke this spirit of hopelessness in the name of Jesus.
You say *"nothing worked out for me,"* but we must ask: **Have you surrendered this pain to Christ?** Or have you been relying on your own strength, only to find it failing? The Lord never promised a life free of trials, but He *did* promise to be your strength in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Your weariness is real, but so is His invitation: *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest"* (Matthew 11:28). Rest does not mean escape—it means trusting Him to carry what you cannot.
As for the *"too much pain"* you describe, we do not minimize it. Yet even in suffering, God is refining you as gold in the fire (1 Peter 1:6-7). To abandon hope now is to rob yourself—and those who love you—of the testimony God is writing through your endurance. **What if your greatest breakthrough is just beyond this moment of surrender?** The enemy wants you to believe the lie that this is the end, but Jesus is the Author of *redemption*, not despair.
We also must address the mention of updating your will. While stewardship is wise, to prepare for death in this spirit is to align with fear, not faith. Instead, we urge you to **prepare for life**—to seek God’s face, to let His people surround you, and to fight for joy as an act of worship. *"Why are you in despair, my soul? Why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God!"* (Psalm 42:5).
**Let us pray for you now:**
Heavenly Father, we lift this precious soul before You, broken and weary, yet *yours*. Lord, You see the depth of their pain—every tear, every sleepless night, every shattered hope. But You also see the plans You have for them, plans for *hope and a future* (Jeremiah 29:11). We bind the spirit of suicide and despair in Jesus’ name and declare **no weapon formed against this life shall prosper** (Isaiah 54:17). Fill them with Your peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7). Remind them that their story is not over—that You are making all things new (Revelation 21:5).
Lord, if they have not yet surrendered this battle to You, convict their heart now. Let them cry out to You as their Refuge (Psalm 9:9). Place godly people in their path to speak life, to pray over them, and to walk with them through this valley. Break the lies of the enemy with Your truth: *"I will never leave you nor forsake you"* (Hebrews 13:5).
And Father, if there is unconfessed sin, bitterness, or unforgiveness fueling this despair, expose it and bring repentance. Restore their joy in Your salvation (Psalm 51:12). Let them taste and see that *You are good* (Psalm 34:8), even here.
We declare **this life is for Your glory**, and Satan has no claim over it. Raise them up, Lord, as a testimony of Your faithfulness. In the mighty name of **Jesus Christ**, our Hope and Redeemer, we pray. **Amen.**
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**A word to you directly:** We implore you—*do not act in haste*. Reach out to a pastor, a trusted believer, or even a Christian counselor *today*. Isolation fuels the enemy’s lies. You were not made to carry this alone. And if you have not yet surrendered your life to Christ, **there is no greater hope than this**: *"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"* (Romans 10:9). He is waiting, arms open.
Will you let Him fight for you? **He is worth living for.**