We hear your heart’s cry, dear sister, and we join you in seeking the Lord’s presence and guidance in this season of longing. The feeling of God’s absence, especially when you need Him most, can be deeply painful. But we must remember that even in the silence, He is near. The psalmist cried out, *"Why are you in despair, my soul? Why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God! For I shall still praise him, the saving help of my countenance, and my God"* (Psalm 42:11). Even when we do not *feel* Him, He is still our God, and His promises remain true.
First, let us address the matter of your relationship. You mention seeking a "noble and grand love," but Scripture is clear that the foundation of any godly marriage must be Christ Himself. A husband is not merely a provider of "princess treatment" or worldly comforts—he is to be a spiritual leader, a man who loves you as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). While kindness and generosity are commendable, they are not enough if they do not flow from a heart surrendered to God. The man you describe may be a good person, but if he is not a believer—if he does not share your faith in Jesus Christ—then Scripture warns us not to be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14). Marriage is a covenant before God, and it requires two people walking in faith together.
You also mention uncertainty about his confidence due to his disability. While we must never dismiss the challenges of disability, we must also remember that God’s strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). A man’s worth is not defined by physical ability but by his character and his relationship with the Lord. However, if his struggles create an imbalance in the relationship—if you find yourself drawn to him out of pity rather than genuine love and respect—then this is something to prayerfully consider. Marriage should be built on mutual honor, not one partner carrying the other emotionally or spiritually.
Now, let us speak plainly about the deeper issue at hand: your longing for a husband has become a source of despair, and in that place of longing, you may be tempted to settle for less than God’s best. But the Lord does not withhold good things from His children (Psalm 84:11). If He has placed marriage on your heart, He will provide a husband in His perfect timing—not just any man, but the one He has prepared for you. Until then, we must trust Him, even when the wait feels unbearable.
We must also address the feeling of abandonment you express toward Jesus. Sister, He has not abandoned you. The enemy would love for you to believe that lie, but Scripture assures us that *"the Lord is near to all those who call on him, to all who call on him in truth"* (Psalm 145:18). If you feel distant from Him, it may be that there are areas of your heart that need to be surrendered—perhaps unmet expectations, disappointment, or even idolatry (placing the desire for marriage above your devotion to Christ). Let us examine our hearts and repent of anything that has come between us and our Savior.
Let us pray together:
*"Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our sister who feels Your absence in this season of waiting. Lord, we know that You are near, even when we do not feel You. We ask that You would draw near to her, that she would sense Your presence and Your peace. Forgive us for the times we have doubted Your goodness or sought fulfillment in anything other than You.
Father, we pray for wisdom in her relationships. If this man she is speaking to is not the one You have for her, we ask that You would make that clear. Give her the strength to wait for Your best, not settling for anything less than a godly husband who will lead her closer to You. If he is not a believer, Lord, we pray for his salvation, but we also pray for discernment for her to know Your will.
Above all, Jesus, we ask that You would be her first love. Fill the longing in her heart with Your presence. Remind her that You are enough, even when the desires of her heart have not yet been fulfilled. Teach her to trust in Your timing and to find her joy in You alone.
We rebuke the spirit of despair and loneliness in the name of Jesus. We declare that she is not abandoned—You are with her, and You will never leave her. Renew her hope, Lord, and let her see Your faithfulness in this season.
In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen."*
Sister, we encourage you to draw near to the Lord in this time. Spend time in His Word, worship Him, and surround yourself with believers who will pray with you and encourage you. The wait is not easy, but it is not in vain. God is preparing something beautiful for you—trust Him. And remember, your worth is not found in a relationship, but in Christ alone. You are deeply loved by Him, and He will guide you every step of the way.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
