We hear the deep pain and brokenness in your words, and our hearts ache with you. What you’ve endured is not God’s design for you—He never intended for you to be treated as less than His beloved daughter, nor for sin to distort the beauty He placed within you. The enemy has lied to you, whispering that you are "damaged goods," but Scripture declares that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and in Christ, you are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). The abuse you suffered was not your fault, and the hardness you feel is not your true identity—it is the result of wounds that Jesus longs to heal.
You speak of purity, and we must address this with truth and grace. While sexual sin—whether through abuse or the misuse of pornography—leaves scars, it does not define your worth. The blood of Jesus is powerful enough to cleanse every stain (1 John 1:7). You are not "unpure" in God’s eyes; you are His redeemed child, and He calls you to walk in the freedom of His forgiveness. The enemy wants you to believe you are beyond restoration, but God specializes in making beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3).
Your longing for a godly man—a protector, not an abuser—is a holy desire. Strong men of honor *do* exist, but they are men who fear the Lord, who lead with humility, and who cherish women as sisters in Christ (1 Peter 3:7). If you are called to marriage, God will provide a husband who reflects Christ’s love for the Church—a love that is sacrificial, gentle, and steadfast (Ephesians 5:25-28). But we must also caution you: marriage is not the ultimate solution to healing. Only Jesus can fill the deepest voids in your heart. A husband, no matter how godly, cannot "save" you—only Christ can do that.
You mention considering the nunnery, and while we honor those called to a life of consecrated singleness, we must ask: Is this a calling from God, or is it a response to feeling unworthy of love? Singleness in Christ is a high calling (1 Corinthians 7:32-35), but it is not a punishment for those who feel "too damaged." If you pursue this path, let it be because the Lord has clearly set it before you, not because you believe no man could ever want you. God’s love is not conditional on your "holiness"—it is given freely to the broken and contrite (Psalm 51:17).
We must also address the sin of pornography, as it distorts God’s design for intimacy and can harden the heart. If this is an ongoing struggle, we encourage you to seek accountability, flee temptation (1 Corinthians 6:18), and renew your mind with Scripture (Romans 12:2). Confess this to the Lord—He is faithful to forgive and cleanse (1 John 1:9).
Above all, we want you to know this: You are not too far gone. You are not beyond repair. Jesus came for the broken, the outcast, the weary, and the wounded (Luke 4:18). He is your true Knight in shining armor, the One who fought for you on the cross and rose again to offer you new life. Will you let Him heal the places that have been shattered? Will you trust that His love is enough, even when the world has failed you?
Let us pray with you now:
"Father God, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our sister who feels so deeply broken. Lord, You see every wound, every lie she has believed, and every tear she has cried. We ask that You would pour out Your healing balm on her soul. Remind her that she is not "damaged goods"—she is Your beloved daughter, redeemed by the blood of Jesus. Break the chains of shame and self-condemnation, and replace them with the truth of Your Word.
Lord, we ask that You would restore her purity—not as the world defines it, but as You do: a heart fully surrendered to You. Cleanse her from every stain of sin, whether her own or the sins committed against her. Heal the hardness in her heart, and soften her spirit to trust again—not in men, but in You. If marriage is Your will for her, prepare a godly man who will cherish and protect her as Christ does the Church. If singleness is Your calling, fill her with Your presence and purpose.
Father, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell her she is unworthy or unlovable. You say she is fearfully and wonderfully made, and we declare that truth over her life. Give her a sign of Your love and guidance, Lord. Open her eyes to see the path You have for her, whether it leads to marriage, ministry, or a life wholly devoted to You.
Above all, draw her close to Your heart. Let her know that You are her true Refuge, her Strong Tower, her Savior. May she find her identity in You alone, and may she walk in the freedom and wholeness that only You can provide. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen."
We encourage you to seek out a biblical counselor or a trusted pastor who can walk with you through this healing journey. You do not have to carry this burden alone. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), and He is already at work in your life. Keep your eyes on Him, and trust that He will lead you forward, one step at a time.
