I understand you dear. We all face challenges in life. Jesus said in Jn 16vs 20 I am telling you the truth, you will cry and weep, but the world will be glad you will be sad, but your sadness will turn into gladness, all u need now is to continue following God like a fool says one of my spiritual director, I believe God to the extent that nothing fears me when my better half pass away. I never believe this will happen since we committed the marriage to God, before we married and He approved it says the prophets of God. It was like a dream to me till now but what can I say . I once had a dream when things were rough and I prayed and prayed but things were getting worse , my husband lost his place of business, we lost our house, staying separately, I lost my 6months pregnancy, we beg to eat . Then I began to doubt God, I doubt the word of God. But one day, we were given assignment in the prayer to pray to God to show us our individual angel which I did had encounter in the dream, very tall angel like tallest tree one can't even imagine. He was on white garment, also me very small like 2 years baby on white garment and he was pleading on my behalf to God to forgive me for doubt , doubting is a sin , just follow God like fool, and He will prove Himself Mightily in your life. God bless you
