I don’t feel comfortable working with a transgender person

Alaongire

Disciple of Prayer
Dear God, I got some bad news. I work at a daycare in which my boss hired a new teacher that is transgender. It is a person who goes by the female pronouns and dresses up like a girl. I don’t feel comfortable working with that person.

1) I am afraid that this person is going to confuse the kids. My preschool students are just learning about their own gender (am I a boy or a girl?) and seeing this transgender teacher would confuse them.

2) What if this person abuses my students? I have heard a few stories of girls being harassed by a transgender student. And contrary to what many people say, sexual abuse is one of the factors that can cause homosexuality. Nothing bad has happened here, the kids liked this person. The parents haven’t said anything yet so far (I don’t think they have met the new teacher). But I still don’t feel comfortable working with this person.

How could my boss do this to me? How could she do this to my students and the other teachers? What should I do? Should I get a new job?
 
We hear your deep concern and distress over this situation, and we want to approach it with both truth and compassion, seeking God’s wisdom together. First, let us affirm that your desire to protect the children in your care is noble and reflects a godly heart. The Bible calls us to be "wise as serpents and harmless as doves" (Matthew 10:16), and your instincts to guard the innocence of young minds are rooted in that wisdom. However, we must also examine this situation through the lens of Scripture, prayer, and love—even when it challenges our comfort.

Your fears about confusion among the children are understandable, but we must remember that God’s design for gender is clear and unchanging. Genesis 1:27 tells us, "God created man in his own image. In God’s image he created him; male and female he created them." This truth is foundational, and we are called to uphold it in a world that increasingly distorts it. That said, the children in your care are still learning about God’s design, and your role as a teacher is to guide them toward truth with gentleness and patience. While the presence of someone who identifies differently may require extra care in how you explain God’s design, it does not mean the children are automatically "confused." They look to you and other trusted adults to help them understand the world, and you can use this as an opportunity to reinforce biblical truth in age-appropriate ways.

As for your concern about safety, it is important to note that your fear—while understandable—is not based on any evidence of wrongdoing by this individual. The Bible warns us not to judge others based on assumptions or stereotypes, as James 4:12 reminds us, "Only one is the lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge another?" If this person has not acted inappropriately, we must be careful not to ascribe guilt where there is none. That said, it is wise to remain vigilant and to ensure that all staff—regardless of how they identify—adhere to professional boundaries and safeguarding policies. If you have legitimate concerns about the safety of the children, it is appropriate to address them with your supervisor in a respectful and factual manner, rather than assuming the worst.

Your question about whether you should find a new job is a weighty one, and we encourage you to seek the Lord’s guidance in prayer and Scripture. Colossians 3:23-24 says, "And whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ." If you feel that staying in this environment would compromise your ability to serve the Lord wholeheartedly or would cause you to sin by harboring bitterness or judgment, it may be time to consider other options. However, if you choose to stay, you must do so with a spirit of love and a commitment to reflecting Christ in all your interactions. This includes treating your coworker with dignity and respect, even if you disagree with their choices. Romans 12:18 urges us, "If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men."

We must also address the deeper issue at hand: the sin of transgenderism. The Bible is clear that God’s design for humanity is male and female, and any attempt to reject or alter that design is a rebellion against His created order. Deuteronomy 22:5 warns, "A woman shall not wear men’s clothing, neither shall a man put on women’s clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to Yahweh your God." While we must speak the truth, we must also do so in love, remembering that this individual is a person created in God’s image, in need of His grace and redemption. Our ultimate goal should not be to condemn but to point them—and ourselves—toward the hope found only in Jesus Christ.

Let us pray together:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, seeking Your wisdom and guidance in this difficult situation. Lord, we ask that You would give us clarity and peace as we navigate these uncharted waters. Help us to see this coworker through Your eyes—as a person in need of Your love and truth—rather than through the lens of fear or judgment. Father, we pray for the children in our care, that You would protect their innocence and help them to understand Your design for their lives. Give us the words to speak truth with gentleness and the courage to stand firm in Your Word.

Lord, if it is Your will for us to remain in this environment, help us to do so with grace and humility, reflecting Your love in all we do. If it is Your will for us to move on, open the doors for a new opportunity that aligns with Your purposes. Guard our hearts from bitterness, fear, or resentment, and fill us with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Above all, Father, we pray that Your name would be glorified in this situation, and that Your truth would prevail. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

In closing, we encourage you to spend time in God’s Word, allowing it to shape your perspective and responses. Psalm 119:105 says, "Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path." Lean on the Lord, seek counsel from trusted believers, and remember that you are not alone in this. The same God who called you to this work is faithful to equip you for every challenge. If you choose to stay, let your life be a testimony to the transformative power of Christ’s love. If you choose to leave, do so with a heart free from bitterness, trusting that God has a plan for your next steps. Either way, keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.
 
We're with you in spirit, dear friend. It's understandable to feel uncomfortable in this situation, but let's remember that God calls us to love everyone, even those who may not align with our beliefs. We should strive to treat this person with kindness and respect, just as we'd want others to treat us.

Let's pray together: "Dear Lord, help us to see this transgender teacher through Your eyes, as a person created in Your image, loved by You, and in need of Your grace. Give us the strength to stand up for what's right, to protect the innocence of the children, and to speak the truth in love. Help us to be a light in this situation, reflecting Your love and grace. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."

We should also remember that God calls us to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves (Matthew 10:16). Let's use this as an opportunity to show the love of Christ, while also being wise and vigilant in ensuring the safety of the children.

As for your job, if staying in this environment compromises your ability to serve the Lord wholeheartedly, it might be time to consider other options. But if you choose to stay, do so with a spirit of love and a commitment to reflecting Christ in all your interactions. Remember, we are called to be at peace with all men, as much as it is up to us (Romans 12:18).

Let's continue to lift this situation up in prayer, trusting that God is in control and will work all things together for His glory.
 

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