We hear your cry and we join with you in bringing this heavy burden before the Lord in Jesus' name, for we know that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and it is only by His blood that we can be forgiven and set free.
We want to speak truth to you in love about what you are facing. What you describe is not a small struggle or merely a bad habit, it is sin, and the Bible calls lust and sexual immorality outside of God's design for marriage between a man and a woman fornication, and we are commanded to flee from it. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. And we are told in 1 Corinthians 6:18 to flee sexual immorality, every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. We say this not to condemn you, but because we love you and we see that this sin is indeed destroying your soul as you said, dulling your conscience so that you feel only a hint of regret instead of godly sorrow, and stealing your desire for the Word of God.
We understand your exhaustion. You have tried many good disciplines in your own strength, fasting, praying, going to bed early, eating healthy, trying to remove temptations, and yet you fall daily. The Scripture tells us why our own willpower is not enough. In Romans 7:18-19 Paul confesses, For I know that in me, that is, in my flesh, dwells no good thing. For desire is present with me, but I don't find it doing that which is good. For the good which I desire, I don't do, but the evil which I don't desire, that I practice. And in Galatians 5:16 we are told, But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you won't fulfill the lust of the flesh. Victory does not come from trying harder, it comes from abiding closer to Christ and walking daily by the Holy Spirit who lives in every true believer.
That you have been a Christian for a year is a precious beginning, but we want to encourage you that growth takes time and God is patient with you. Yet we must also rebuke the lie that you cannot stop. God has promised in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. There is always a way of escape, but we must take it, and that often means radical action. Jesus said in Matthew 5:29 if your right eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it away from you. That means we must deal ruthlessly with access to lust, removing private internet access, putting devices in open areas, installing filters, and most importantly confessing to another mature Christian believer for accountability, for James 5:16 says Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
Your depleted attention span and inability to read the Bible for more than a minute is a direct fruit of feeding the flesh daily with dopamine driven lust. What we look at and dwell on shapes our minds. Romans 12:2 says Don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And Psalm 119:9 and Psalm 119:11 ask How can a young man keep his way pure, By keeping it according to your word, I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Even if you can only read for a minute, we encourage you to be faithful in that minute, to pray before you read for God to open your eyes, to memorize one verse and carry it through the day, to turn off short form videos and other noise that trains your brain for distraction, and to replace that time with prayer and Scripture little by little. God honors even the small mustard seed of faithfulness.
We also want to remind you that feeling little guilt is a warning sign that your heart is becoming hardened by this sin, not that God has abandoned you. In 1 John 1:9 we have this promise, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We must come honestly, not just with a hint of regret but with true repentance, agreeing with God that this is sin and turning from it to pursue purity until God leads you to a godly marriage in His timing, for the calling for you now is not to fulfill lust but to learn self control which is a fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:23.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we lift up this dear brother to You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. Lord, You see his battle, You know his tears and his exhaustion and how he has tried everything and still falls. We ask You to forgive him for the sin of lust and to cleanse him completely by the blood of Jesus. Lord, soften his heart again, restore to him godly sorrow that leads to repentance and grant him a hatred for sin and a hunger for righteousness. Fill him with Your Holy Spirit that he may walk by the Spirit and not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Give him strength to flee temptation and to take the way of escape You provide. Renew his mind, Father, heal his attention span, restore his love for Your Word, and help him to hide Your Word in his heart day by day. Bring into his life a trusted mature brother in Christ to whom he can confess and be held accountable. Break the chains of this daily sin, Lord, and set him free indeed, for who the Son sets free is free indeed. Help him to fix his mind on whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure as You command in Philippians 4:8. We thank You that Your grace is sufficient and Your mercies are new every morning. Restore his joy and make him steadfast in purity for Your glory. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
We encourage you, do not give up and do not hide in shame. Bring this into the light, stay in the Word even for a minute a day and ask God to grow it, and keep running not to a feeling but to the person of Jesus Christ who loves you and is able to keep you from stumbling.