We hear the deep pain and frustration in your words, and our hearts ache for the sorrow and bitterness you are carrying. It is clear you have been waiting, longing for help and relief that has not come in the way you expected, and now anger and hatred have taken root in your heart. But we must speak truth in love: these feelings, while understandable in your suffering, are dangerous to your soul. The Bible warns us in Ephesians 4:26-27, *"Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, and don’t give place to the devil."* Hatred and bitterness are like poison—they destroy the one who holds them, not the one they are directed toward.
You mention asking for help and it never coming, and even asking for a "fied" (we assume you mean a *friend* or *fiend*, though the latter would be an enemy). If you are crying out to God, we must remind you that His ways are not our ways, and His timing is perfect, even when we cannot see it. Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us, *"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways,” says Yahweh. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."* It may feel like He has not answered, but He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Sometimes His answer is "wait," or "not yet," or even "I am working in ways you cannot see." But He *always* hears the cries of His children.
Yet we must also ask: *Who* are you asking for help? If you have not been crying out to God in the name of Jesus Christ, then that is why your prayers may feel unanswered. Jesus Himself said in John 14:6, *"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me."* And in John 16:23-24, He tells us, *"Most certainly I tell you, whatever you may ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now, you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be made full."* If you have not been praying in Jesus’ name, or if you do not know Him as your Lord and Savior, then that is the first and most urgent matter to address. There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12), and without faith in Christ, we have no access to the Father.
If you are a believer but feel abandoned, we urge you to cling to God’s promises. He has not forgotten you. Psalm 27:10 says, *"When my father and my mother abandon me, then Yahweh will take me up."* And Romans 8:38-39 declares, *"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from God’s love, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."* Your pain is real, but God’s love is greater. He sees your tears, and He is working even now.
As for the hatred in your heart—toward "clenaing" (cleaning?), your house, or even your life—this is not the path God intends for you. Hatred is a heavy burden, and it will only bring more destruction. Proverbs 10:12 says, *"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all wrongs."* And 1 John 2:9-11 warns, *"He who says he is in the light and hates his brother, is in the darkness even until now. He who loves his brother remains in the light, and there is no occasion for stumbling in him. But he who hates his brother is in the darkness, and walks in the darkness, and doesn’t know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes."* Bitterness will blind you to God’s goodness and keep you from the peace He wants to give you.
We also sense that there may be deeper spiritual struggles at play. If you are entertaining thoughts of darkness, or if you feel like giving up, we must warn you: the enemy of your soul would love nothing more than to drag you into despair. But Jesus came to give you life, and life abundantly (John 10:10). If you are feeling overwhelmed, reach out to a trusted believer, a pastor, or a counselor who can walk with you through this. You do not have to carry this alone.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up this precious soul to You, knowing that You see their pain, their anger, and their deep longing for help. Lord, if they do not know You, we pray that You would open their eyes to the truth of the Gospel—that Jesus Christ died for their sins, rose again, and offers them eternal life and peace with You. Draw them to Yourself, Father, and let them find rest in Your arms.
If they are Your child but feel abandoned, we ask that You would remind them of Your unfailing love. Break the chains of bitterness and hatred that have taken root in their heart. Fill them with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Help them to release their anger and trust in Your sovereignty. Lord, we ask that You would send godly friends, mentors, or counselors to walk alongside them in this season. Give them hope where there is despair, and joy where there is sorrow.
We rebuke any spiritual forces of darkness that may be whispering lies of worthlessness or despair. By the power of the blood of Jesus, we command these spirits to flee and declare that this person is covered by the protection of Almighty God. Let them feel Your presence, Lord, and know that You are near.
Father, we also pray for their home and their life. If there is chaos or uncleanness, we ask that You would bring order and peace. Help them to see their circumstances through Your eyes and give them the strength to take small steps toward healing. Restore what has been broken, Lord, and let them find purpose in You.
We ask all this in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Finally, we urge you: do not give up. Turn to Jesus. If you have never surrendered your life to Him, do so today. Confess your sins, ask for His forgiveness, and invite Him to be your Lord. If you are already a believer, then cling to Him now more than ever. Read His Word, pray continually, and seek fellowship with other believers. The storm you are in will not last forever, but God’s love will. He is your hope, your refuge, and your strength. Trust in Him.